Ok, first of all, TODAY MY MOM TURNED FORTY!! Happy Birthday, mom! Her birthday is the only one I EVER remember... which is a lucky one, I think.
Secondly, we had our pitch party and I honestly can't decide which is the more exciting news to report. That we ARE doing "Soon We'll be Found" by Sia, which is my DREAM!!! OOOOOOOOOORRRRR that IIII (with Cayla) am arranging a BRITNEY MEDLEY!!!!!!!!
GET IT?? I'M REALLY EXCITED!!!
We're also singing:
"If I Never See Your Face Again" by Maroon 5, featuring Rhianna
"Speeding Cars" by Imogen Heap
and "He Can Only Hold Her" by Amy Winehouse!
I'm REALLY pleased!! But also, yesterday Kevin when to the iStore and used my gift certificate to get $50 in itunes money. So I basically bought every song that was pitched! That's basically my favorite part of pitch parties. Now I have so much good music!
ALSO, my boss gave me $25 in Barnes and Noble money. I've never gotten a real Christmas gift by a boss before. That's SO NICE!!
AAAAALSO, and this is also SUPER AMAZING, I was looking through my email and I got one about film and television classes that are still open. So I open it up and video production 2 is in there, WITH MY LIKE.. FAVORITE PROFESSOR, which I really wanted but was a lottery class. ANYWAY, now I'm signed up for the class!!! AND it's replacing GREEK DRAMA, which was my least fun sounding class ever (see previous entry on how classic literature courses make me want to vomit)!!!
HURRAAAAY!! Now I just have to study for my damn final!!!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
KEVIN IS HERE. And More.
Ok, here are ALL the deals.
1) KEVIN IS HERE RIGHT NOW!! Also, he is staying indefinitely a' la Natalya. Last night was nice because we hung out with Rachael and Amanda for a while, and then we came back to my place with Amanda, and then Elena and Matt came over. AND Katherine was there. So it was a nice little reunion.
2) ALSO, Kevin has a JILLION PICTURES of Australia. Like... a JILLION!!! We looked at them for like... an hour (possibly literally) and we STILL haven't seen them all. I'm just saying... I might not even NEED to go to Australia because I already know everything now.
3) I have another money situation. I started getting really nervous because my next paycheck isn't until Friday (which is after I leave) and I don't have direct deposit. Usually, I can think of SOME way that I can get money quickly... (like how I counted all of my coins before) but I couldn't think of any. That is, until last night, when I brilliantly decided to sell back my books!!
BUT I should really see if I can get direct deposit now because otherwise I'll just have $120 sitting at BU while I'm poor at home/in Colorado.
4) I got a package from my grandma JoAnne yesterday! They were earrings that she bought for me when she thought she was going to see me in the summer. She has VERY excellent taste. My grandma, my mother, and I have very similar taste in jewelry.
5) Tonight is our pitch party. I still haven't decided which songs I'm going to pitch. I know one will be "Soon We'll be Found" by Sia, which is a TRULY amazing song!! Usually I don't become attached to songs instantly, but this one played on Letterman like... two weeks ago and I've been OBSESSED since. I think I might pitch new or old Britney, because... as an all girls group, we might want to have a little ode to her.
6) I hope I really do study for my exam. I'm worried that I won't care enough about it and then I'll fail the class. It's impossible to know how I'm doing in it right now, as I cannot recall any grades. Damn. I'm just worried especially because if Kevin stays I might get really distracted.
7) I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall the other day, which was pretty good. Mila Kunis is GORGIOUS!! I do really like the Judd Apatow humor because it pushes the edge of what's appropriate but in a different way than Adam Sandler or Will Ferrell. I did write more, but then I erased it because I thought it sounded foolish. I just think if you read a Judd Apatow script, you'd know it was him.... in a good way.
I also saw The Last King of Scotland. Forrest Whitaker was OBVIOUSLY amazing and James McAvoy was OBVIOUSLY attractive but nothing really special. I also saw this movie called Mysterious Skins, because I'm having a brief, but defined, obsession with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It was like... the scariest thing ever. Actually there were only a few parts that made me want to die... but they're kind of ingrained. It's primarily about the effects of child sexual harrassment. I'd recommend on the level of Alpha Dog, meaning it's almost not great except I love it, and it's really dark.
8) Last thing... but all of my shows are over until the new year (I'm specifically talking about The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, The Office, and 30 Rock), which I guess is fine (except not really). BUUUUUUT, I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about what I should do when my shows are back on but I'm in Colorado. Like... should I just not watch them? ISN'T THAT THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER HEARD!?? That I have to put thought into that. When I haven't seen my dad in 1.5 years!!!
Yes. I think so too.
9) Also, I still need to remember that finding an internship is the most important thing to do. I wonder how much money I could reasonably get by working a lot next semester? I guess I need to discuss with my mom. I still haven't picked out a computer and here's what I'm thinking. Maybe I'll just collect money for surviving next year at my internship. The only problem is that my computer is dying. And especially when I'm alone in the summer, what am I going to do without a computer? Right now, I'm using a computer in the computer lab. Maybe I can intern through BU over the summer in LA and get housing. Actually though, I think I'd need a car and a license to go there. But I don't think BU does a New York program. And I'd love to just stay in Boston. Maybe I can get an off campus apartment and start living there over the summer. But then I would need a roommate who could do that too or I'd be paying for them, right? Plus, I would need to start NOW if that was going to be my plan.
Do you ever not consider things in your personal realm of possibility and then you remember that they totally are!? Like, I never even THINK of going abroad because... I just never consider myself going abroad. There isn't anything to it at all. I just don't consider that within my means even though it totally is. Same with an off-campus apartment. I just never considered that to be an option. To be honest, I didn't even consider an ON-campus apartment until I accidently got into one.
My grandpa and I agree that I'm really low on ambition. Which I know sounds like an AWFUL thing to say... but also I'm happy like... ALL the time.
Whatever. I think I need to talk these things out with my mom or someone in an office. Ugh, I'm having a sleepy-pocket just THINKING of it. Decisions suck.
1) KEVIN IS HERE RIGHT NOW!! Also, he is staying indefinitely a' la Natalya. Last night was nice because we hung out with Rachael and Amanda for a while, and then we came back to my place with Amanda, and then Elena and Matt came over. AND Katherine was there. So it was a nice little reunion.
2) ALSO, Kevin has a JILLION PICTURES of Australia. Like... a JILLION!!! We looked at them for like... an hour (possibly literally) and we STILL haven't seen them all. I'm just saying... I might not even NEED to go to Australia because I already know everything now.
3) I have another money situation. I started getting really nervous because my next paycheck isn't until Friday (which is after I leave) and I don't have direct deposit. Usually, I can think of SOME way that I can get money quickly... (like how I counted all of my coins before) but I couldn't think of any. That is, until last night, when I brilliantly decided to sell back my books!!
BUT I should really see if I can get direct deposit now because otherwise I'll just have $120 sitting at BU while I'm poor at home/in Colorado.
4) I got a package from my grandma JoAnne yesterday! They were earrings that she bought for me when she thought she was going to see me in the summer. She has VERY excellent taste. My grandma, my mother, and I have very similar taste in jewelry.
5) Tonight is our pitch party. I still haven't decided which songs I'm going to pitch. I know one will be "Soon We'll be Found" by Sia, which is a TRULY amazing song!! Usually I don't become attached to songs instantly, but this one played on Letterman like... two weeks ago and I've been OBSESSED since. I think I might pitch new or old Britney, because... as an all girls group, we might want to have a little ode to her.
6) I hope I really do study for my exam. I'm worried that I won't care enough about it and then I'll fail the class. It's impossible to know how I'm doing in it right now, as I cannot recall any grades. Damn. I'm just worried especially because if Kevin stays I might get really distracted.
7) I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall the other day, which was pretty good. Mila Kunis is GORGIOUS!! I do really like the Judd Apatow humor because it pushes the edge of what's appropriate but in a different way than Adam Sandler or Will Ferrell. I did write more, but then I erased it because I thought it sounded foolish. I just think if you read a Judd Apatow script, you'd know it was him.... in a good way.
I also saw The Last King of Scotland. Forrest Whitaker was OBVIOUSLY amazing and James McAvoy was OBVIOUSLY attractive but nothing really special. I also saw this movie called Mysterious Skins, because I'm having a brief, but defined, obsession with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It was like... the scariest thing ever. Actually there were only a few parts that made me want to die... but they're kind of ingrained. It's primarily about the effects of child sexual harrassment. I'd recommend on the level of Alpha Dog, meaning it's almost not great except I love it, and it's really dark.
8) Last thing... but all of my shows are over until the new year (I'm specifically talking about The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, The Office, and 30 Rock), which I guess is fine (except not really). BUUUUUUT, I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about what I should do when my shows are back on but I'm in Colorado. Like... should I just not watch them? ISN'T THAT THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER HEARD!?? That I have to put thought into that. When I haven't seen my dad in 1.5 years!!!
Yes. I think so too.
9) Also, I still need to remember that finding an internship is the most important thing to do. I wonder how much money I could reasonably get by working a lot next semester? I guess I need to discuss with my mom. I still haven't picked out a computer and here's what I'm thinking. Maybe I'll just collect money for surviving next year at my internship. The only problem is that my computer is dying. And especially when I'm alone in the summer, what am I going to do without a computer? Right now, I'm using a computer in the computer lab. Maybe I can intern through BU over the summer in LA and get housing. Actually though, I think I'd need a car and a license to go there. But I don't think BU does a New York program. And I'd love to just stay in Boston. Maybe I can get an off campus apartment and start living there over the summer. But then I would need a roommate who could do that too or I'd be paying for them, right? Plus, I would need to start NOW if that was going to be my plan.
Do you ever not consider things in your personal realm of possibility and then you remember that they totally are!? Like, I never even THINK of going abroad because... I just never consider myself going abroad. There isn't anything to it at all. I just don't consider that within my means even though it totally is. Same with an off-campus apartment. I just never considered that to be an option. To be honest, I didn't even consider an ON-campus apartment until I accidently got into one.
My grandpa and I agree that I'm really low on ambition. Which I know sounds like an AWFUL thing to say... but also I'm happy like... ALL the time.
Whatever. I think I need to talk these things out with my mom or someone in an office. Ugh, I'm having a sleepy-pocket just THINKING of it. Decisions suck.
Friday, December 12, 2008
A Good Catch Up
I just have to mention a few great things.
1) KEVIN IS COMING OVER TOMORROW!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
2) Today we screened our final movies for class! It was wonderful!
3) Yesterday we premiered "Heart of the Matter," which I arranged. Twas successful!
4) Only one final to go!!!
5) Going home the 18th.
6) Officially going to Colorado from January 2-January 11
I have to
-clean my room
-do my laundry
-do the dishes
before KEVIN COMES OVER!!
1) KEVIN IS COMING OVER TOMORROW!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
2) Today we screened our final movies for class! It was wonderful!
3) Yesterday we premiered "Heart of the Matter," which I arranged. Twas successful!
4) Only one final to go!!!
5) Going home the 18th.
6) Officially going to Colorado from January 2-January 11
I have to
-clean my room
-do my laundry
-do the dishes
before KEVIN COMES OVER!!
Friday, December 5, 2008
Some Words About Some Things
I have so many things to talk about, I have to write a list so I don't forget:
1) movie
2) money
3) internship
4) Italian guy
5) writing inspiration
6) Christmas
Intrigued? Good! Let us begin.
1) So I'm directing our final project for my video production class. So we started filming yesterday (I was out of my house ONLY for shooting from 10:30am to 8:30pm). Anyway, it is WAY scarier than you might think. I thought we were going to do scenes in 3 separate locations (technically four but one was easy), and that we were going to start setting up at 12:30pm. So I woke up at 10:00, go together a shit-ton of props, went to the computer lab to create a "missing bunny" sign, got props from a group member who had work, and had a quick lunch. But at 12:00pm the girl was supposed to get the camera LEFT to get the camera and it was obviously going to take longer. Long story short, all three of us halled the stuff (HEAVY DUDE! HEAVY!) and got to our location at 1pm. THEN our actor didn't show up until 1:40ish. Whatever. So we shoot 4 scenes in one location, and then the guy asks me when we're going to be done (it's about 3:15). BUT I had planned on 2 more big scenes in two different locations! He said he had to leave for a dinner at 6pm. SOOOO I cut the last location and moved it to Sunday. Then we did this bank scene, which we did in the mail room because it has a counter that we could go behind. BUT because we were REALLY in the way, I got REALLY paranoid about time. SO we shot it really fast!
Because we had to quit so early, I decided that I would at least edit the stuff we have, and everyone, including Stephanie, who wasn't at the shoot, came to edit too. WELL, after looking at the footage again, I felt like I had done NO good shots!! I mean... they were clear and told the story... but for all intents and purposes, it might as well have been a play. I mean, not quite... but it still felt bad. ESPECIALLY because I feel like I'm usually pretty good at getting good shots. BUT since my crew ALSO had to be acting, it was SOOOO hard to keep the actors under control and doing what you want and STILL think about the camera and STILL keeping track of time.
I'm just nervous because I feel like it's really riding on me. I'm not TOTALLY sad that I wrote a comedy, but it would have been much easier to make interesting shots if it was a horror. But I did a comedy because... I feel like a team of all girls wouldn't usually do a comedy. And I feel like comedic WRITING is harder. I don't know. I'm just really worried. BUUUUUT it is really fun.
2) So, as you know I'm money-retarded. Because of the recent Britney Spears explosion, I basically ran out of money. BUUUUUT my grandpa gave me $100 and I still haven't deposited all of the coins. So, because I have $14 in my checking account and $20 in my savings (yeah... awkward), I decided it was time to deposit my $100 check (I can't afford to overdraw again). So, I went to my job to get my check. I wasn't sure what the check situation was because... well I need to tell a little tale.
Three times this year I have forgotten to write down my hours online... and thus I don't get a check. Now I KNOW this is retarded, which is why I never discuss. I mean, I'm sure that my boss wouldn't REALLY care if I told her that I forgot and she had to do it manually. I KNOW this. But for some reason, I can't escape feeling responsible. I KNOOOOOOOWWWW this is retarded. I TRIED... (I mean obviously not that hard) to ask her... but I just couldn't live with it. I consider it my bill for being irresponsible. So whatever, I've lost about $160 from doing this.
Anyway, I went to get my check, which I haven't done in a while because I forgot to log my hours. Well, I guess I waited a long time because I had THREE checks when I went to pick them up. Which, funnily enough, I had the LAST TIME I went to get my checks. Time is confusing for me.
THE POINT IS, I had about $120 instead of $40 like I thought. LUCKY!! I kind of like that I do that, even though the lady makes funny and says she's weary of students that don't need their money every week (b'scuse me?! Why do you care?), because I've been REALLY stingy with my money so I didn't overdraw. SO THERE!
3) I need an internship this summer. My writing teacher asked us what internship opportunity connections we could find from our friends and family over break. I almost had a heartattack. It's one of those situations like finding a college where I feel like my family is way more useless than other families and that I have no connections! I'm obviously not saying my parents are bad, but they really are only helpful when it comes to medical things... which has never been useful to me in my entire life. I KNOW that other people don't have like... AMAZING parents who help them with everything... but I always feel like other parents have more of a vested interest in their kid's connections and whatever.
ANYWAY, I told my teacher that my uncle produces a local news station in upstate New York (that's true except I don't know if he produces. He does SOMETHING major). BUT I will not be chilling with my uncle... and I do NOT want to do news... (and you shouldn't start with things you don't want to do). WELL, my teacher was very encouraging. She tells us that she has a really good instinct about what people want to do and whatever. I'm not sure about that... but she did tell one girl that she might want to be a teacher (which I kind of thought was insulting... but whatever). She told another girl that it seems like she wants to do sports. The girl agreed. WELL, when I told her I was going to look for something OTHER than my uncle's news station, she told me that I probably "wanted something in fiction, probably something in HBO... like being a reader for them." It was the GREATEST GIFT OF ALL!!! I was like YES! PLEASE!!! THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO DO!! I'm so glad she saw that in me. And she told me it's totally possible to get that kind of an internship!
So now, armed with this new encouragement, I really need to look for a good internship!! Now... I know that this is retarded... but I have NO MONEY and I CAN'T DRIVE!!! So, over winter break I need to be looking for places to apply... but I can basically only apply for things in New York because I really can't go to LA until I learn how to drive. BUUUUT how am I going to live there? Even if I got another job next semester, would I be able to make enough to be able to live through the summer in New York. BUUUUUT, I really feel like I need to be ambitious because you really need to get started when you're young. And, if you don't get an internship, you basically can't get a job.
This is my semi-longterm goal.
4) Today this guy, who came to Boston from Naples in 2002, came to our food anthro class to talk about the North End (which is where the Italians of Boston are. BUUUUT he was so interesting because he was an anthropologist studying Italian-Americans! That's SO AWESOME!
5) This is kind of a part 2 to number 3, but today while we were waiting to read some scripts my teacher told us that it was really important to remember that it doesn't really matter what teachers and whatever say about your writing. The executive producer of Seinfeld got a bad grade in Harvard and he used to flash the bad paper at the end of each episode. She said that the fear of writing teachers is to make sure that they don't make anyone stop writing. So she said that although she's telling you stuff she thinks is right, you should just be persistant and do what you think is good because the successful people are the people who are persistant and sometimes brilliant people aren't as successful because they doubt themselves. This morning I was feeling pretty ill (I still kind am just weak and stuffed up and coughy), and my teacher isn't usually so sentamental... and anyway, it was such a nice moment because I feel like I fall victim to self-doubt and worrying about the legitimacy of everything that I do and feeling like people are better than I am ... And it was so nice of her to say those things. Anyway, I almost cried. Like, my eyes teared up. Which shows you how fucking WEEPY I've been recently. Like... anything in the world will make me cry! I asked my grandma if I was deficient in some vitamin that would make me cry at happy things all the time. She said I was just getting to be a more sensative person and that that was a good thing. Whatevs.
6) Christmas is soon. I wanted to paint for my mom and dad but now I don't think I'll have the time. I still haven't sent my painting to my grandparents. Lame.
KEEP A' CHUGGIN', FOLKS!! YOU SHALL SURVIVE THIS TIME!!
Today at the bank I saw this sign and it said "Remember, today is the same day you were worrying about yesterday." Very appropriate for this time of year.
(By the way, I STILL haven't had any caffeine!!)
1) movie
2) money
3) internship
4) Italian guy
5) writing inspiration
6) Christmas
Intrigued? Good! Let us begin.
1) So I'm directing our final project for my video production class. So we started filming yesterday (I was out of my house ONLY for shooting from 10:30am to 8:30pm). Anyway, it is WAY scarier than you might think. I thought we were going to do scenes in 3 separate locations (technically four but one was easy), and that we were going to start setting up at 12:30pm. So I woke up at 10:00, go together a shit-ton of props, went to the computer lab to create a "missing bunny" sign, got props from a group member who had work, and had a quick lunch. But at 12:00pm the girl was supposed to get the camera LEFT to get the camera and it was obviously going to take longer. Long story short, all three of us halled the stuff (HEAVY DUDE! HEAVY!) and got to our location at 1pm. THEN our actor didn't show up until 1:40ish. Whatever. So we shoot 4 scenes in one location, and then the guy asks me when we're going to be done (it's about 3:15). BUT I had planned on 2 more big scenes in two different locations! He said he had to leave for a dinner at 6pm. SOOOO I cut the last location and moved it to Sunday. Then we did this bank scene, which we did in the mail room because it has a counter that we could go behind. BUT because we were REALLY in the way, I got REALLY paranoid about time. SO we shot it really fast!
Because we had to quit so early, I decided that I would at least edit the stuff we have, and everyone, including Stephanie, who wasn't at the shoot, came to edit too. WELL, after looking at the footage again, I felt like I had done NO good shots!! I mean... they were clear and told the story... but for all intents and purposes, it might as well have been a play. I mean, not quite... but it still felt bad. ESPECIALLY because I feel like I'm usually pretty good at getting good shots. BUT since my crew ALSO had to be acting, it was SOOOO hard to keep the actors under control and doing what you want and STILL think about the camera and STILL keeping track of time.
I'm just nervous because I feel like it's really riding on me. I'm not TOTALLY sad that I wrote a comedy, but it would have been much easier to make interesting shots if it was a horror. But I did a comedy because... I feel like a team of all girls wouldn't usually do a comedy. And I feel like comedic WRITING is harder. I don't know. I'm just really worried. BUUUUUT it is really fun.
2) So, as you know I'm money-retarded. Because of the recent Britney Spears explosion, I basically ran out of money. BUUUUUT my grandpa gave me $100 and I still haven't deposited all of the coins. So, because I have $14 in my checking account and $20 in my savings (yeah... awkward), I decided it was time to deposit my $100 check (I can't afford to overdraw again). So, I went to my job to get my check. I wasn't sure what the check situation was because... well I need to tell a little tale.
Three times this year I have forgotten to write down my hours online... and thus I don't get a check. Now I KNOW this is retarded, which is why I never discuss. I mean, I'm sure that my boss wouldn't REALLY care if I told her that I forgot and she had to do it manually. I KNOW this. But for some reason, I can't escape feeling responsible. I KNOOOOOOOWWWW this is retarded. I TRIED... (I mean obviously not that hard) to ask her... but I just couldn't live with it. I consider it my bill for being irresponsible. So whatever, I've lost about $160 from doing this.
Anyway, I went to get my check, which I haven't done in a while because I forgot to log my hours. Well, I guess I waited a long time because I had THREE checks when I went to pick them up. Which, funnily enough, I had the LAST TIME I went to get my checks. Time is confusing for me.
THE POINT IS, I had about $120 instead of $40 like I thought. LUCKY!! I kind of like that I do that, even though the lady makes funny and says she's weary of students that don't need their money every week (b'scuse me?! Why do you care?), because I've been REALLY stingy with my money so I didn't overdraw. SO THERE!
3) I need an internship this summer. My writing teacher asked us what internship opportunity connections we could find from our friends and family over break. I almost had a heartattack. It's one of those situations like finding a college where I feel like my family is way more useless than other families and that I have no connections! I'm obviously not saying my parents are bad, but they really are only helpful when it comes to medical things... which has never been useful to me in my entire life. I KNOW that other people don't have like... AMAZING parents who help them with everything... but I always feel like other parents have more of a vested interest in their kid's connections and whatever.
ANYWAY, I told my teacher that my uncle produces a local news station in upstate New York (that's true except I don't know if he produces. He does SOMETHING major). BUT I will not be chilling with my uncle... and I do NOT want to do news... (and you shouldn't start with things you don't want to do). WELL, my teacher was very encouraging. She tells us that she has a really good instinct about what people want to do and whatever. I'm not sure about that... but she did tell one girl that she might want to be a teacher (which I kind of thought was insulting... but whatever). She told another girl that it seems like she wants to do sports. The girl agreed. WELL, when I told her I was going to look for something OTHER than my uncle's news station, she told me that I probably "wanted something in fiction, probably something in HBO... like being a reader for them." It was the GREATEST GIFT OF ALL!!! I was like YES! PLEASE!!! THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO DO!! I'm so glad she saw that in me. And she told me it's totally possible to get that kind of an internship!
So now, armed with this new encouragement, I really need to look for a good internship!! Now... I know that this is retarded... but I have NO MONEY and I CAN'T DRIVE!!! So, over winter break I need to be looking for places to apply... but I can basically only apply for things in New York because I really can't go to LA until I learn how to drive. BUUUUT how am I going to live there? Even if I got another job next semester, would I be able to make enough to be able to live through the summer in New York. BUUUUUT, I really feel like I need to be ambitious because you really need to get started when you're young. And, if you don't get an internship, you basically can't get a job.
This is my semi-longterm goal.
4) Today this guy, who came to Boston from Naples in 2002, came to our food anthro class to talk about the North End (which is where the Italians of Boston are. BUUUUT he was so interesting because he was an anthropologist studying Italian-Americans! That's SO AWESOME!
5) This is kind of a part 2 to number 3, but today while we were waiting to read some scripts my teacher told us that it was really important to remember that it doesn't really matter what teachers and whatever say about your writing. The executive producer of Seinfeld got a bad grade in Harvard and he used to flash the bad paper at the end of each episode. She said that the fear of writing teachers is to make sure that they don't make anyone stop writing. So she said that although she's telling you stuff she thinks is right, you should just be persistant and do what you think is good because the successful people are the people who are persistant and sometimes brilliant people aren't as successful because they doubt themselves. This morning I was feeling pretty ill (I still kind am just weak and stuffed up and coughy), and my teacher isn't usually so sentamental... and anyway, it was such a nice moment because I feel like I fall victim to self-doubt and worrying about the legitimacy of everything that I do and feeling like people are better than I am ... And it was so nice of her to say those things. Anyway, I almost cried. Like, my eyes teared up. Which shows you how fucking WEEPY I've been recently. Like... anything in the world will make me cry! I asked my grandma if I was deficient in some vitamin that would make me cry at happy things all the time. She said I was just getting to be a more sensative person and that that was a good thing. Whatevs.
6) Christmas is soon. I wanted to paint for my mom and dad but now I don't think I'll have the time. I still haven't sent my painting to my grandparents. Lame.
KEEP A' CHUGGIN', FOLKS!! YOU SHALL SURVIVE THIS TIME!!
Today at the bank I saw this sign and it said "Remember, today is the same day you were worrying about yesterday." Very appropriate for this time of year.
(By the way, I STILL haven't had any caffeine!!)
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
No Caffeine!
Finals time is such a funny time. Everyone is freaking out and everything comes together at once and you don't see how you could POSSIBLY get everything done. And EVERYONE feels the same exact way! It's funny that we do this twice a year. I was reading Claire's blog and she began her statements with a disclaimer about how lucky we really are, which is SO true and I love her for making some perspective. But it's sooo hard!!
Anyway, I'm really pleased with myself. Because I started sleeping during the day and staying up all night in my Thanksgiving solitude, I decided on Sunday that I couldn't drink any caffeine so I had a HOPE of going to bed at a reasonable hour (which I KIND OF did (in bed by 2:30, asleep by 3:15ish)). Then I woke up at 8:30am on Monday and was PERFECTLY fine, which was LUCKY. Although I passed out from like 4-9pm. Then I stayed up until like 3ish again. I did not drink ANY soda Monday either! (Which, if you don't know, is like... already a record since I drink 2 sodas on a bad day and 4 on a regular (I know it's bad)). Then Tuesday I woke up at 8:30am again. I did NOT take a nap. Rather, they took away the electricity from 1-5am Wednesday morning. I had to watch the Daily Show and Colbert Report and then I went to the 24 hour lab. I started working at about 12:45 and I thought I would be done around 3:30 ish. I ended up getting home around 5:30am!!! It took WAY longer than I thought! STILL NO CAFFEINE AT ALL!!! Then I woke up at 10am and stayed up doing work and going to class until 4pm. Then I went home, took a half hour snooze, ALMOST KILLED MYSELF when I had to get up again for my class at 5pm... but I DID IT!! With NO CAFFEINE!!
I know it doesn't seem that amazing... but I could not be more pleased with myself. Anyway, I'm going to quit soda... if that wasn't obvious. I'm up to 4 days. That's good. I actually started because I didn't get a headache at all when I didn't have any caffeine for more than 24 hours and I took it as a sign to quit while I'm ahead!
I have also been conditioning my hair so that I only have to wash it every other day! I'm proud of that too!!
Anyway, I'm really pleased with myself. Because I started sleeping during the day and staying up all night in my Thanksgiving solitude, I decided on Sunday that I couldn't drink any caffeine so I had a HOPE of going to bed at a reasonable hour (which I KIND OF did (in bed by 2:30, asleep by 3:15ish)). Then I woke up at 8:30am on Monday and was PERFECTLY fine, which was LUCKY. Although I passed out from like 4-9pm. Then I stayed up until like 3ish again. I did not drink ANY soda Monday either! (Which, if you don't know, is like... already a record since I drink 2 sodas on a bad day and 4 on a regular (I know it's bad)). Then Tuesday I woke up at 8:30am again. I did NOT take a nap. Rather, they took away the electricity from 1-5am Wednesday morning. I had to watch the Daily Show and Colbert Report and then I went to the 24 hour lab. I started working at about 12:45 and I thought I would be done around 3:30 ish. I ended up getting home around 5:30am!!! It took WAY longer than I thought! STILL NO CAFFEINE AT ALL!!! Then I woke up at 10am and stayed up doing work and going to class until 4pm. Then I went home, took a half hour snooze, ALMOST KILLED MYSELF when I had to get up again for my class at 5pm... but I DID IT!! With NO CAFFEINE!!
I know it doesn't seem that amazing... but I could not be more pleased with myself. Anyway, I'm going to quit soda... if that wasn't obvious. I'm up to 4 days. That's good. I actually started because I didn't get a headache at all when I didn't have any caffeine for more than 24 hours and I took it as a sign to quit while I'm ahead!
I have also been conditioning my hair so that I only have to wash it every other day! I'm proud of that too!!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
BRITNEY AGAIN!!
Ok, here is the NEW situation.
So remember how I had all of these money problems? Then I deposited my checks and got a check from my grandpa and I counted all my change and then I had SOME money.
Well... I semi-fucked it up... but I don't have regrets. BUT I spontaneously bought Britney Spears tickets (and am CURRENTLY buying her new album) for March 16!!! NO regrets!
So I bought TWO tickets... and it's actually really was annoying because I couldn't decide who to ask or who would be offended if I didn't ask them. Plus I was worried (a smidge) that maybe no one would want to go. I hope it works out. I'm SURE it will!
In OTHER good news, that paper that I STARTED writing at midnight the night before it was due without reading ANYTHING for it-- I got an A-. FUCK YEAH! I'm pretty super pleased with myself. Although I do need to make sure I don't fuck up that class still. It's funny that you're hardest classes you end up doing the best in... and it's the easy-ish classes that give me paranoia at the end of the semester because I have to catch up (bullshit) so much.
I'm a LITTLE nervous about the next... 9 days. We'll see how it goes.
So remember how I had all of these money problems? Then I deposited my checks and got a check from my grandpa and I counted all my change and then I had SOME money.
Well... I semi-fucked it up... but I don't have regrets. BUT I spontaneously bought Britney Spears tickets (and am CURRENTLY buying her new album) for March 16!!! NO regrets!
So I bought TWO tickets... and it's actually really was annoying because I couldn't decide who to ask or who would be offended if I didn't ask them. Plus I was worried (a smidge) that maybe no one would want to go. I hope it works out. I'm SURE it will!
In OTHER good news, that paper that I STARTED writing at midnight the night before it was due without reading ANYTHING for it-- I got an A-. FUCK YEAH! I'm pretty super pleased with myself. Although I do need to make sure I don't fuck up that class still. It's funny that you're hardest classes you end up doing the best in... and it's the easy-ish classes that give me paranoia at the end of the semester because I have to catch up (bullshit) so much.
I'm a LITTLE nervous about the next... 9 days. We'll see how it goes.
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