A Facebook Tale

I can't decide if I want a dog so that I'm encouraged to wake up early, or if I don't want a dog because I don't want to be forced to wake up early. I shouldn't even be thinking about it because a) not all dogs wake up early and a big b) I can't afford a dog financially, emotionally, or spatially.

I got 4/5 of the movies I ordered and I watched 3/4 of those already. I continue to never EVER regret that I own so many movies. I swear to you guys that I've seen every movie I own in the past year with maybe... 20 exceptions. Did I mention that I purged all of my DVD cases? I'm never selling my movies and I keep them in a huge case that holds jillions of movies... so I trashed the individual cases. It was a great relief and I'm pretty proud.

Now a tale:

On a whim, I posted something on the wall of a friend from high school (Jake K) whom I haven't communicated with in... 5 years? It's the miracle of facebook. And inadvertently a miracle of funny online videos that some people really should see regardless of potential awkwardness. Anyway, we had a brief exchange and then a couple of days later he told his friend (our friend?) from high school (Darri) that I lived in LA. And so does she. And we both work in Beverly Hills. And we're having a meal tonight!! Bizarre.

It would be hilarious if we became best friends because of a mediocre Funny or Die faux trailer about the monopoly movie.

Mitzvah Update: Not Too Much Progress

Weeeelll... I went from 252 points for the first week down to.... 80 points this week. Rough. I like them being kind of a max and min. After all, I'm not going to work on set and read two books per week. Nor should I spend 3 straight days watching movies I've already seen and occasionally walking a dog. It's not a TERRIBLY fine line, but I guess it is for me.

252 Points

Weird.

If I were going to use my back to worship Avatar, I would have made a big, Pandora forest with Neytiri and Jake in the middle or something. As is, he doesn't seem to have an eye for aesthetics with a jillion heads hanging in midair on an old man back. I guess that might not be the biggest problem, though.

I got 252 points from my first Mitzvah week. I am almost certain that I will not get the same numbers this week, although I do need to get my car fixed asap, which would rake in some points. The check engine light went on adding to what is now a rainbow of pain and warning on my dashboard.

Day 1 of housesitting which means KITCHEN AND DOGS AND TV AND TALKING ON THE PHONE IN THE HOUSE AND MAKING NOISE AFTER 11PM AND FLUSHING THE TOILET WHENEVER I WANT AND SITTING IN THE YARD AND READING WITHOUT THE ANXIETY OF BEING DISTURBED!

I'm pretty excited.

A Urine-y Weekend and More

Gracious gracious.

Big weekend. I worked on a short film which was glorious and exhausting as always. Interacted with many a-homeless (we gave them food and prayed for one of them) and smelled urine in a disturbing number of locations that were not bathrooms. I also met a shit-ton of awesome people, learned where the fabric/fashion district is (you can by SO MUCH FABRIC FOR UNDER $5 - I want to refurnish all of my things... except at last count, I only own DVD holders....) and learned where the flower district is. I learned where I can get the most delicious burrito, and I was reminded about amazing amazing Portos (although no potato balls this time). Hung out with Liz and Cassidy. More than doubled my average Mitzvah points each day, which proves EVEN MORE that my destiny is to be on set. I think the only REAL drawback is that afterwards I felt like I needed a weekend... but I just used it. It was fine though. I do HAVE to say, if only for posterity (but probs also for bragging) that I woke up at 4:50am and 5:15am on the days and got home around 7pm.

I was going to write SO MUCH MORE about it, but... then I failed.

I'm housesitting for the next couple of weeks while THE PERFECT FAMILY goes to Tribeca!!

Finished Chipmunk Meets Squirrel by David Sedaris. It was great, but pretty fucked up and appealing to what I'm sure is a very narrow audience range (a la Scott Pilgrim). But fortunately, I'm within that range and thought it glorious (a la Scott Pilgrim). I may just reread all my Sedaris again, although my coworker told me that she doesn't consider rereading a book as reading a book (clarification needed for Mitzvah game). Now I'm not sure. I ALMOST (/ kind of did) start trying to read Pride and Prejudice again ("again" referring to the multiple efforts towards reading it for the first time), but I couldn't stand it so I just watched Emma. I do love that movie, but it has too many flaws to be in a list of favorites.

I don't have an iphone, but I was reading damnyouautocorrect.com and some of them made me nearly pee my pants. This is one:

Miracles (My Most Common Post Title... Maybe.)

Some miracles.

1. I am OFFICIALLY off on the Friday of Memorial day weekend!! That's not TOO much of a miracle because I was EXTREMELY confident about that one. I guess the miracle is that I asked about it in a timely manner. And that means the miracle is that my boss took us out to lunch, which is inarguably the perfect time for such a conversation. I really do have a great boss.

2. I DON'T HAVE TO PAY TAXES!! Apparently, I'm so poor that the government was like "Ooooo, our bad. You can keep your money. You're gonna need it." I seriously SERIOUSLY thought I was going to have to pay 15% of everything I made... which would be hundreds. I think the real reason is that I was taxed on a significant amount of money before, and I've made so little since then, that the rebate from that tax went towards what I owe. And I think you owe less if you make a pittance. I think I even have a $159 credit for next year. That's how little I make.

3. I failed to mention that I discovered my bank's rewards points. I discovered them because I got a letter in the mail saying they were canceling the debit reward system, but they wouldn't erase your existing points. Then they listed the site. Turns out, I had points! And they were worth $50 in Amazon.com money!!

I knew this a week or so ago and already picked out my self-gifts, but I finally got the actual card yesterday. Below is what I got:

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Black Swan

Annie Hall

Pineapple Express

10 Things I Hate About You (my old copy got lost in the shuffle (loaned and never returned) so I will use this opportunity, when I'm not spending my own money, to replace it)

I KIND OF wanted to get Mysterious Skin but it seems like possibly a movie that I like but would accidentally never watch like Crash or Vanilla Sky. I cannot bring myself to EVER watch them. Plus, I may use my Joseph Gordon Levitt budget on Hesher. PUMPED about Hesher. Although I'm glad Natalie is pregnant because if I see her in one more movie, particularly one that looks like crap (ie: Thor), I may start to lose some reverence for her. She's so lucky that she did Your Highness and No Strings Attached while she was still riding the miracle of Black Swan. But I think she'll take a couple of years with her baby and then win another Academy Award. And that's exactly what I want for her.

For your viewing pleasure:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBa5qp9sUOY

I'm feeling an obsession with Elijiah Wood approaching. I'm SO PUMPED about Wilfred.

Mitzvah Update

Mitzvah game update.

I've only calculated for two days, which any scientist will tell you is not enough observation draw any real conclusions. So far, I actually DO think it's inspiring me to do more. Yesterday, instead of spending my final hours exclusively watching Roseanne, I finished Catcher in the Rye. Hard to say whether I did it for the points or because my David Sedaris book, Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, came in the mail and I promised myself I wouldn't start it until I was finished with Holden. Plus, this one has illustrations and while flipping through, the first illustration I saw was a picture of an owl next to a huge rhinoceros anus and looking concerned. The title of the piece is called "The Weeping Owl." This at least DOUBLED my urgency, obviously.

Plus, this morning I woke up late (first time in a LONG time). Like... 45 minutes late. But actually everything went amazingly smoothly. So smoothly that I was still 5 minutes early for work! But in the car, I was thinking about the things I skipped and concern for the points I'd lose danced across my mind. Only 1 point. No lotion regime this morning.

Even if it doesn't NECESSARILY mean that I'm DOING more than I was, the points do make me feel better about the stuff I already do. And feeling good is really the point. Plus, while my office partner, Jasmine, lighthearted laughed at my game (ie: why do you need a point to brush your teeth if you already do it?), Kevin thought it was brilliant and is going play with me.

Lastly, this week and possibly next are going to be a trial run to see what my average is, etc. In this time, I'm trying to decide what the points amount to. As I can't really REWARD myself as spending my own money isn't REALLY a reward, I think I'm going to make a minimum amount of points I have to achieve per week and if I don't reach it, I have to do something unpleasant but good for me, like not drinking soda for a day. (Note: soda addiction and other such vices are not being eliminated in this game. If they ARE eliminated, they do have a point value, but it's not really the aim at the moment. Those are going to be individual adventures and I have bigger priorities right now. I'm not trying to torture myself.)

ANYWAY, Catcher in the Rye was okay. Honestly, the reason I read it is because people are so passionate about it, but it also has a kind of suicide-y stigma. I just wanted to know if I judge the people who say it's their favorite book. I don't.... but... well near the end I thought that if people are being suicide-y with the book, then they didn't get the point. But then there was a SLIGHT twist, I guess. And then the end seemed like Salinger was just over writing it and quit. Maybe I need someone to explain why that isn't the case. I bet I would have understood more if I actually read it in high school (I POSSIBLY did... impossible to say). I WILL say that I couldn't go straight to Sedaris after Salinger. I had to level the mood with some Roseanne.

All the Important Stuff

I got a haircut by an actual PERSON on Saturday!! I didn't cut my own hair (or have a roommate/grandma trim it) for the first time in over 2 years. My hair is curly! I forgot!

I went to Ikea to look at bed frames. Ikea is SO FUN if you're with someone else and you're spending an hour casually looking at stuff with like... $50 to spend. Or if you're running around with your new lover and you're pretending the furniture is your house and there is a Chinese family in your bathroom (vicarious experience). I was in none of these circumstances, however, and thus in agony. It's like floating down the lazy river at Six Flags! All I wanted to do was get to the bed section, take a quick scan, and book it. Nay. People just stop and have a chat in the middle of the runway. And everyone is fine with that because they're moving at their own molasses pace. I couldn't be TOO pissed though because I was neither in a rush, nor in the majority. I can't get pissed at others for having fun and being regular.

Then I went to the mall and sampled some lotions at Bath & Body Works. Those lotions are $12 each!! I found the perfect smell though, which was kind of painful. I have to stick to my pint of Suave mango for $4. That's okay, though. It was still nice chatting to the passionate, gay store clerk.

Then I went to the movies. Saw Your Highness. It was AWFUL! TERRIBLE! It was so raunchy, which I like, but not if there is zero cleverness mixed in! It was as though I was supposed to laugh every time they said "fuck," just because they said it. That BARELY passes in non-scripted real life. And I don't want to be rude about Danny McBride, but I say absolutely not. I'll trade him for Zach Galifianakis if we have to. It wasn't me in a mood either. I went it EXTREMELY ready to enjoy it. Not a laugh in the theater. The biggest laughs were during the trailer for Bad Teacher.

I hung out with Caroline, who is doing a program learning about Judaism and coming to LA every month. I love Caroline so much because we, without pretense, just go to a grocery store parking lot and chat for 5 hours.

Anyway, we were talking about self-improvement and she talked about Mitzvahs, which she said are good deeds. She was talking about how being good to yourself and constantly changing and improving and learning are Mitzvahs.

So I'm going to try out a new game I invented called Mitzvahs. I wrote out a list of things and I put them on a point system. For instance, lotion regime is 1 point. Go to bed before midnight is 5 points. Finish a book is 8 points. Do laundry - clothes is 15 points. Work on set for a day is 20 points. Change oil is 50 points. Write a screenplay is 100 points. Figure out lifetime goal is 500 points. I have a two page list of such Mitzvahs, but I'm not going to put the whole thing on here, not because I'm embarrassed by it for anyone I KNOW reads this, but just in case I have more readers than I realize... I just had to be honest with myself about things I actually have some trouble doing and things that I think are good for me and important, so the point weight is a LITTLE weird possibly.

Right now I'm testing it out to see the average points I should get per week . I'm pretty excited. Although I did spend all of yesterday watching Roseanne. Just found out it's on Netflix instant watch and I can't RESIST that show. I don't even care. But I didn't make the Mitzvah list until night time, so I don't feel too bad. Plus I did my damn laundry, which is huge. Although I consistently fail at waiting for the clothes to dry completely, so I'm all damp today. Whatever. I'm starting the test points today so I don't get any points for laundry yesterday.

I also watched Look Who's Talking and Look Who's Talking Too on Friday. The former is a classic and I highly enjoyed it, but the latter is a little lame. Plus, despite my aforementioned obsession with Roseanne, Roseanne Barr makes the baby kind of creepy...

I also made a new CD that's a little Hanson heavy. So at 1am, when I was driving home from hanging out with Caroline, I blasted it and sang along. Usually I'm pretty aware if the person next to me has their window rolled down-- if they do I'll stop singing and possibly close my window. Can I brag for a moment and say that one time I did this, the guy next to me beamed at me and told me to keep singing? That was nice. But I guess this time I was too consumed and so after waiting at a light for probably a minute, I looked to my left and discovered a young man in a car of young men with his head almost entirely out the window staring at me. When we made eye contact, he BURST into hysterics. That was embarrassing. Although I admit it was probably a funny sight. I hate to say I hope he didn't realize it was Hanson.

Wasting Internets

Spending the majority of your time in an office where all of the most interesting things aren't allowed to be public knowledge makes for terribly boring posts.

Things that I remember doing this week:

1. Watched Less Than Zero. I really liked it. Robert Downey, Jr. never fails and drug addiction one of my top two favorite genres (pregnancy being the other one). I would have liked it better if Andrew McCarthy was a better kisser.... but at least he had some scenes on the edgier side. Hated the last minute. Overall, though, I enjoyed it.

2. Watched the series finale of My So-Called Life, this time with Corina for her first time. Then cried over the tragedy again (not literally cried, but definitely flailed on her bed in despair).

3. Discussed the funniest salad dressings with Kevin and then wrote a song about it (balsamic vinegar-- it has balls in the front).

4. Learned that my new lotion regime makes me go through lotion at an alarming rate. More disturbingly, I do have a couple of lotions that I BELIEVE are very perfume-y, as well as leave you glittery. I've had a continuous inner debate over whether or not being glittery and smelly is worth the money saved but remain torn.

I refuse to stop blogging just because I have nothing to say.

Added later:

1. Failed to mention that Sarah!! is going to be joining in what I'm now calling my Birthday Extravaganza: I Now Have 'the Force' and Can Tractor Beam in My Loved Ones up to Three Thousand Miles for Limited Periods of Time (I may shorten the title...)

2. Learned that Tina Fey is pregnant, as announced during her promotion of her book Bossypants on Oprah. Then I read all the pages I could on Amazon and NEARLY bought it before I felt bad about spending the money. And then I thought about the author I WOULD spend money on-- David Sedaris. So I looked him up and he HAS A NEW BOOK. Or new as of 2010. Score. Bought it.

Events Through My Phone

Even though I'm sad that Steve Carrell is leaving The Office, and even though I HALF want The Office to just end, I am REALLY excited about these last, Carrell-less episodes. Will Ferrell is popping in for an arc-- I read that he likes the show and approached them because he knew they were approaching rough times and said they could use him if they wanted... awesome. Ricky Gervais and Will Arnett are going to be in the finale, and Gervais will have to be his UK Office character David Brent because he already cameoed as David earlier. Pumped about all.

However, I PRAY they don't make Danny McBride the new boss!! TERRIBLE idea. I hope they make it Harvey Keitel-- I don't know why but it just seems like it might be good. I'm torn about Will Arnett (as the new boss, not as a cameo, which I whole-heartedly support). I KNOW I don't want Danny McBride though. I'm gonna see Your Highness. I really am. I do NOT want him in The Office.

My phone charger stopped working in almost the identical vain as my computer charger did a few months ago. It still WORKED, but I had to hold it in. Learning from past errors, I went to buy a new one relatively quickly (to be fair, it happened on Thursday, which is lucky). I obviously avoided all calls in that time because I wasn't sure when I could guarantee my next charge.

I'm going to tell this next part out of order chronologically (possibly) out of respect. You'll see.

I ended up going to the Verizon store, which was actually pretty miserable. I don't REALLY care, but when I got there, there was 4x more employees than customers EASILY. Five, literally FIVE, employees were surrounding this small round table with computers, playing with their phones and ONE -- in a semi-annoyed tone-- took my name and told me to wait. The environment made me really uncomfortable -- I think because I'm growing increasingly afraid of phones and when I watch people in groups playing with their phones it makes me feel sad and panicky. Plus, I was already aware that they were going to try and sell me a new phone. They did, although I assured them that I didn't need it. I hate to say I got a little teary and panicky when I got back to my car. I didn't realize that my annoyance but overall acceptance of internet phones as devolved into fear. I know that it's going to be part of my job eventually to be on my phone constantly (top 5 biggest future fears-- seriously), so I don't like to advertise this fear too much... but I can't help it. I'm exploding with concern over the mental health toll that being available 24/7 can take.

Regardless... charger procured and I have no more internet than when I arrived.

Okay, let's turn back again.

So a friend of mine, Becca, from Chords called whom I possibly have never spoken to on the phone before (not that I discourage this behavior). I ignored because of aforementioned charger issue, but she texted me to call her ASAP. It turns out, another friend of mine, Cayla's, father died. He was shot. It's just terrible and it obviously shook me up.

Elana called me the other day, but I told her I'd return her call when I charged the phone. Then Claire texted me saying to call Elana ASAP. I guess because they both had the call and then text with the acronym "ASAP" that made me jump to the conclusion that someone in Elana's family died. I was so panicked as I called and I couldn't make proper conversation until she told me what the ASAP was for.

MIRACLE OF MIRACLES, Claire and Elana are going to visit California!!! I almost exploded from the huge jump in emotions. I couldn't be more thrilled!! THRILLED!

"Champagne Problem"

Seeing famous people is awesome and a neat perk to working in Beverly Hills. A NON-perk, however, is seeing SEMI-famous people whom you can't place. It can make you CRAZY trying to figure out who they are. I guess the purpose for finding the name is ultimately so you can brag to others... and they never really care anyway (although I accept faux enthusiasm with open arms in these cases). I JUST had one of those moments today walking back from lunch.

O God. He has red hair. He speaks in an accent. He's worried about something. Maybe a machine is not working? O God. Now Eric Jungmann is popping into my head. Get OUT of there, Eric. Maybe if I type Eric Jungmann into google images, someone will have mistaken the two. O no, o no! Now Eric is SOLIDIFIED into my head. Okay, just let it go. It's fine. You don't NEED to know the name of this actor.

Yes you do.

So, because of some access I have, I decided on a whim to look up the clients of the agency he was walking towards. Note, there are a JILLION agencies in Beverly Hills and him walking TOWARDS one means pretty much nothing. Did it anyway and FOUND HIM!!

Alan Tudyk. A Knight's Tale. Nailed it.

Hey guys, guess what? I saw Alan Tudyk on my way back from lunch today!

Greaaaaaaat.....