Last night, I dreamt that my mom had a penis!! We were sitting cross-legged, in front of a bed, and watching a very small TV, and then she whips out a penis. And I kind of look at it and she tells me it's a benign tumor. Then she kind of touches it a little... and then this gay guy on the bed, who was sleeping with my step-dad, Ernie (who is either asleep in the dream, or just not talking) (sex WAS implied), sits up on the bed and tells my mom, in a very "gay" voice, "oh please" and tells her, in a crude way that I don't remember, to jerk it off! Then my mom gives him a look (she doesn't jerk it off), and tells me that she bought 3 medium packages of toilet paper and one small one, and now she has more money so she'd like me to return all of the toilet paper and get a really big package instead. Then she gives me $5.
Then I go to the store and in the parking lot, in huge chalk letter is:
I'M A DIRTY TOOKEL
ON A DIRTY TSOOKCKS
(the nouns are not exactly what it said... the words didn't make sense in my dream)
In my head, I wonder if the saying is from a gang.
Then I go in the store, easily carrying all this toilet paper, and for no reason, I dramatically wake up at 5:30am. And, when I wake up, I look around for the $5 on my bed for a for like... several seconds before I realize that the $5 obviously didn't exist if I'm in my bed.
HOW FUCKED UP ARE MY DREAMS LATELY??!!!
On a side note: I canNOT believe that I have NO MORE CLASS FOR JUNIOR YEAR!!! I didn't even reflect on it!! I didn't realize the end was near. It just HAPPENED!
1 comment:
Hahahahaha. I've had dreams this awkward. I just refuse to reflect on them, for fear of what they might say about my psyche.
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