My grandpa called me a few days ago to chat. I cannot call him back because I have nothing good to say for myself. But now it's been three days and I feel like I have to do something REALLY GREAT
OK!!!!
This part is being written 2 hours later. I apparently stopped my sentence in the middle and called my grandpa (apparently writing my excuses brought to light the foolishness... mid-sentence, no less). I called my grandpa and started my conversation by telling him that the reason I didn't call back for three days is because I'm ashamed of how I'm living and then I realized that time wasn't going to make it better so I just have to come out and say it. He laughed and told me that he loves me and that I can do no wrong. What's interesting about my relationship with my grandpa is that my mom HATES him. But I LOOOVE him. I think it kind of sucks for my mom, because I talk about him doing something great (I try to avoid it) and I'm sure she gets upset. Also she told me that one time he called her "honey" and she knows it's because he accidently addressed her as though he was talking to me. AND I talk to him more than I talk to my mom. And for much longer than when my mom and I DO talk. Awkward. Especially because technically he stopped talking to my mom when she refused to abort me. Although I think the silence only lasted a few months. Still...
To be clear, this is her father.
And I must mention that if MY child mysteriously loves Ernie, I will likely be SUPER pissed! CRAZY FUCKING PISSED! Although... I don't think I have to worry about that at all.
So I talked to my grandpa and he GLORIOUSLY offered to take me up to Utica and spend like... 10 days or whatever rigorously teaching me how to drive!!!! YES!!! So tentatively I'm leaving July 8 for a little while.
AAAALSO, I told my grandpa about my obsession with Weeds and he told me that HEEEE had an obsession with Weeds around Thanksgiving and he watched all the episodes in a few days with my grandma. AAAAND he also finds it torture that now we can only watch a half hour per week. My grandpa and I are soul mates. Then we talked about Away We Go, Robert Downey Jr., Charlie Chaplin, my Fallon trip to NYC, Ken (32 IS too old... did I ever mention that my mom did NOT think 32 was a problem? Even though that's 11 years older than me and only 8 years younger than her?), Hugh Laurie, America Ferrara, whether or not Californication has any merit, The Tudors and Jonathan Rhys Meyes, Rachel McAdams, netflix vs. on demand, and whether or not Sherlock Holmes will be too much action or if it will have a good amount of intellect too. SEE WHY MY GRANDPA AND I ARE SOULMATES?! Or maybe I just relate to retired 67 year old men. Or maybe we just both watch a LOT of TV.
ANYWAY! In other news, I printed out 70 pictures for my scrapbook and it only cost me $13!! Remember when you had to BUY a disposable camera and usually they were $15 but SOMETIMES I could get them for $9.99? And I always had to get 2 cameras for every dance and party and everything... just in case it was SUPER eventful. And I got them ALL THE TIME and had a system in which I never wound the camera AFTER a picture because I wouldn't want the camera to go off in my bag and have to pay for a black picture... but sometimes we would have group shots and 2 people would take the same goddamn picture with 15 different cameras and then we would all have a copy of the same picture AND the people taking the picture would wind the camera? And then I'd have to pay another $10 or $15? (I don't even remember... a lot because I couldn't always do it right away) to develop the camera, and I would ALWAYS get doubles in case I wanted to use a copy to put into my quote book or god forbid I spilled water or something on a picture. And then only like... 13/24 pictures would even be any good. And you NEEDED a flash because a non-flash picture would NEVER come out well.
Yeah... I remember that. And I have a HUUUUUUGE box of shitty pictures.
Look at how far we've come. No more forever group shots... you take the picture once, tag everyone in it, done. Delete the shitty pictures you took. Never have to develop them. Glor-i-ous!
In not-so great technology news, my itunes will not show up on my computer and I don't know why. I will probably panic in a few days.
Also, today I bought latex gloves for the dishes. Do you know how much more glorious washing dishes is if you have gloves? Infinitely more glorious!! No touching disgusting things. No prune-y and smelly hands. No skin dryness after your done. Your hands are as good as they were before the task. Excellent.
I haven't watched as many movies recently. Mostly because I watched 52 episodes of Weeds in 2 days. That's almost 26 hours. AAAMAZING!!
Then I watched a movie called YPF (Young People Fucking) which was recommended by Elena. Pretty good. I don't have too much to say about it. It's 5 separate couples in different situations (exes, friends, first date, roommates (except really the roommate with the guy's girlfriend while the guy watches...), and the couple) having sex and it all takes place over one night. And the people are not that diverse... they probably all live in the same area. And the girls are mostly dominant.. really new-age-y guys. ANYWAY ANYWAY, right after giving Elena my feedback, I decided to start watching The Tudors and one of the guys from YPF was in the show. Not a main person, but.. well actually it wasn't all that special.
Anyway, I only watched 2 episodes of The Tudors because... they're 55 minutes long and... it was like.. 5:30am. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is unbelievably attractive. I even surprisingly like his voice, which always throws me off because it's almost effeminate... and I usually don't love that... but I like his. Plus he has a LOT of sex in the show. I can't say for certain whether I will be obsessed... although I have to guess that I won't be unless it's out of pure boredom, because I usually know pretty instantly. I think the situation might be that I already know what's going to happen... particularly since I JUST watched The Other Boleyn Girl... but I WOOOULD like to see Jonathan get hot and bothered over Anne Boleyn. Maybe I will be obsessed, now that I think of it. I was probably just tired.
Although actually, I still haven't slept yet since 5pm yesterday (it's 1:52pm now) and I'm still going. When you (I) have nothing to do and your (my) sleep gets all distorted, there are several times of the day when you (I) need to make some decisions.
3-5pm- Am I going to leave my place or put off my things until the next day?
2:30am- Am I going to try to sleep the night or am I going to keep going?
5:30am- Am I going to stay awake and do my things in the morning or am I going to sleep and TRY to be up by 11am, taking the chance that I might oversleep for half of the day?
1-2pm- Am I going to nap now and try to wake up at 5pm, taking the chance that I might oversleep until 10pm?
Well THAT was honesty.
Last thing, but I JUST talked to my mom and told her about how glorious Weeds was. She told me that she's been telling me all along that I should watch it. Ugh! I know this is senseless hating on my mom, but this is the reason I wouldn't be friends with my mom if she was my peer; she takes credit for everything. And I don't even BELIEVE her when she tells me these things... but even if they ARE true... even if she HAD been telling me I would love Weeds forever (which, even if she had, she also likes Medium and CSI-y stuff that I don't like), the conversation shouldn't shift to her being pissed that I didn't watch the show as soon as she gave her alleged recommendation. This shouldn't be an "I told you so" conversation. A GOOD conversationalist would say "REALLY?!" and ask my why I liked the show and tell me why THEY like the show etc etc.
And she does it all the time. If there is a great artist, she knew about and loved the artist before they were even big. When I like something, not just this show because this phenomenon happens regularly, she has allegedly told me that I would like said thing forever and I never listen. And the most annoying one, when I'm ill, she's had the same illness for weeks and now I know how she feels... bonus if she is also inflicted with something ELSE in addition to whatever pain she's getting from my meager illness. I told her about my itunes and she insists that she noticed HER itunes was fucked up YESTERDAY. Thankfully her and I have been to basically all of the same places because otherwise I know she'd do the annoying thing where like... they say things like "you've never TASTED bread until you've been to Philadelphia. I KNOW good bread."
Part 2 to the Weeds story is that I, in a joking way, told her that I simply don't trust her opinion and that I only trust netflix... and she got pissed! And then I told her I was kidding... but then I had to take that back because... I don't know why... probably because I like to intentionally piss her off as much as she unintentionally pisses me off.
We're not a great team.
What you CAN take from the story is that all three generations, despite some verbal communication issues, all really love TV and movies.
Plus I told her about grandpa teaching me how to drive, pretending that I was disappointed and that Utica is the last place I want to be. She did the sarcastic "good luck." Also, the time that I'm potentially going to Utica is when the Wolber Open is happening... yes my family has a reunion called the Wolber Open. I've been one time and it's not fun because I never really knew any of the relatives since I lived in the west for most of my growing years. My mother has gone every year for like... 5 years maybe? And I went on her second time only. When I discussed it with my grandpa, he was like "I don't think your mother has been there since you were there." How terrible is their relationship that he doesn't even remember seeing his daughter at the family reunion?
Also, last thing about my mom, but instead of filling out a financial form by herself, she insisted that we do it on the phone, which we did with a previous form. But it's terrible because I'll be reading a question out loud and she'll get super aggravated and be like "NO NO NO we OBVIOUSLY don't receive any aid from the military" and I'll be like "I'M READING IT! DO YOU WANT ME TO READ IT TO MYSELF FIRST, CENSOR THE SHIT YOU NEED TO HEAR?!" Damnit! It's so annoying!!
I do love my mom. I know everyone has these grievances. And she is NOT the reason I hate going home.
1 comment:
Post a Comment