HEART EXPLOSION

I'm going to explode! EXPLODE!!!

I want to write quickly because I'm going to buy a new dress today, so this may be very unorganized... or it might be regular. Impossible to say.

The production is OVER! I'm beside myself with grief! Tonight is the wrap party and then... ...

I had the best birthday!!!! Everyone wished me a happy birthday all day! My friend Sarah got me balloons and the executive producer gave me a beautiful necklace (I'm going to miss her so much). I specifically didn't tell Carrie the caterer that it was my birthday because... I didn't want her to think she had to do something about it. At the end of the day they had me stand in for lighting, which is a totally normal job, although not one I usually do. While I was standing in, everyone stopped everything and sang Happy Birthday to me and brought out Carrie's cake! They filmed it and the set photographer took pictures. My heart could EXPLODE!

Also, and I wouldn't write this except that I have to remember later when maybe I'm not feeling as good, but a girl on set told me that she has been working in the industry for 7 years and has had her birthday on set probably 5 times. She said the cast and crew has never stopped everything for her! Another guy told me that too. That is SO NICE! I really think I may die of over-kindness.

Also, the cake was PHENOMENAL! Carrie is starting a pie restaurant in October and anyone who ever comes to California after that time is going to this restaurant. I am in love with Carrie.

After work, I chatted with my grandma for a year-- AWESOME. Then Devon and Corina took me to a funny bar called The Cave. I love them SO MUCH and am so appreciative that they are here in California, helping me to not be alone during my transition--- and being AWESOME.

Also, I do NOT get to keep my job at Present Pictures. BUUUUUUUUUUT (oh god I can't even believe how nice everyone is), my producer called the person she worked for at the Gersh Agency and they told me to send my resume and cover letter. My producer is going to go over them with me! My plan was to try and work at an agency for a year if I didn't get to stay at Present Pictures. My producers both did it, and a ton of the speakers we had in our classes did it as well. Everyone says it's an invaluable experience because you learn EVERYTHING in the industry and you make a ton of connections.

However, EVERYONE also says that it is a terrible, demoralizing job. You're on call 24/7 and they make you cry. You go for a year, get your experience, and split. I compared this, quite obviously, to The Devil Wears Prada to someone and they said it was worse. I've mentioned my plan about the agency to a number of people, and I never fail to get a really sad/concerned face. Some people told me that they are worried it will break my spirit or make me really jaded. However, my producers really trust that I can do it and I think I'm WAY tougher than I appear.

The best part is that after a year (or whatever-- when they can I assume), Present Pictures wants to take me back!!!!!

I'm going to EXPLODE!!!

Also, my friend Liz has actively called me about helping me to find a job. Everyone wants to find me a job. I can't even take the kindness. I really can't, guys.

HOW CAN IT BE OVER?!!!