Lots of Caps Today

Today was berNARDed (that's a replacement word for it's less PC, but seemingly necessary to my vocabulary, rhyming counterpart)!!!! Seriously.

So last night I was procrastinating, yadda yadda. So I decided to start the second half of my script after Colbert last night, which is fine because I pretty much always do that. So I turn on my computer and I notice...

IT'S NOT CHARGING!! So I play with the charger for a bit. Then I try turning the computer on and off. I figure it's the charger's fault because it's lit up green, which shouldn't happen unless it's already plugged into the computer and the computer is charged... neither of which are the case.

Finally, I have a HEART ATTACK! It's 12:30am, the library is going to close at 2am. Plus, even if it didn't, I needed to use the program that was on my computer-- you can't download onto a school computer. Plus, the program I was using was a trial version of Final Draft-- I'm not going to go into the reasoning behind this because it's probably boring... but the point is that it's only on my computer AND it sucks because when I print it out, it leaves a watermark behind because I haven't paid for the program (I don't think I'm being too cheap but it's $79!!).

Regardless, I text Amanda because I KNOW she has a mac and PRAY that she's awake because I only have 57 minutes left on my computer. She is and I basically run to her place-- and bless her heart because she was clearly half-asleep when I got there. Anyway, I set up shop in her common room and I see that HER CHARGER ISN'T WORKING ON MY COMPUTER EITHER! Clearly the my charger AND my computer are dead! Buuuuut now it says that I have 2 hours and 40 minutes (which sometimes happens, where the remaining battery time is inaccurate). So I decide to just stay out in Stuvi, where Amanda lives (about a 12 minute walk away), and finish my thing. Miraculously I DO finish before the computer dies-- it is now down to 15 minutes. I walk home at about 4am.

When I wake up later at 9am, I remember what happened and want to cry. I have a paper due at midnight on Friday, which isn't a huge deal, but it does suck when you can't do something at home. More importantly, I have to make this script happen before the final one is due... the one I was working on was only the second half of a rough draft-- still a lot of my grade though. I even briefly act pissy about it to Elena in the morning.

But, then I went to health care sociology and we watched a video in which a billion jillion people were in pain or dying. I was like "I GET it, universe! Okay okay, my own personal computer not charging is HARDLY something to freak out about in the grand scheme of things." Jesus Herbert Christ! The universe almost NEVER lets me wallow in self pity.

Side note: I cried AGAIN in that health care class. STUPID LADY HORMONES!! Honestly, I regularly get pissed when people cry, so I'm being a real hypocrite by pointing out all of my emotional surges... but I really think my tear ducts are a bit hilariously out of control. The other night, at like... 3am, I was watching The Brady Bunch. In this episode, Bobby is obsessed with Jesse James because he doesn't quite see that Jesse James was a vicious killer villain. In the episode, Mike and Carol make Bobby talk to the son of a man who was killed by Jesse James. That night he has a dream that he's on a train-- and this is like... the worst set ever!-- with the rest of his family. Then Jesse James comes on and shoots the family. But it's The Brady Bunch so, I think the gun is just his fingers shaped like a gun, although I forget. But the shot sound is DEFINITELY just Jesse James saying "BANG BANG BANG." No sound effects. And then the whole family bloodlessly, hilariously, and dramatically fall over on each other as Bobby delivers a TERRIBLE performance of fake horror and tears. It SHOULD have been hilarious-- in fact it was. But tears ran down my face! REALLY, LADY HORMONES?! REALLY?! But back to my other tale...

Anyway, after class, I try to go to COM and see if any of the computers have a real version of Final Draft so that I don't have to hand in something with watermarks on it. I search for a while, but most of the labs have classes in them. So I decide to go to the dining hall for lunch and then come back at noon (my class is at 1pm). Well, I try the open labs and none of them have it. Finally I realize I should just ask someone. I do and it turns out none of our computers even have Final Draft-- ANNOYING!! They have photoshop!

But now I know that I'm going to have to pay for Final Draft, even though I still haven't put in my check for this week, so I only have $13 right now. Plus, if my computer has only 15 minutes of life left, where am I going to put this program?! It means, I'll have to get my computer fixed right away, but what if THEY charge me? So I had to pick up and deposit my check, and in the mean time see if my computer can be fixed for free. If it can't, have to fix computer when my check clears two days later. Then I have to spend $80 for Final Draft. Then I have to spend the rest of my money on my ticket home next week... which means that I can't go out to dinner or do anything fun. And I'll probably have to borrow money from my mom for gas for my trip. BAAAH!!

But, since I couldn't do anything about it before class, I decided to read for a half hour in front of my class (YES Bridget Jones!). Miraculously, a kid from my class was passing and reminded me that we don't even HAVE class today-- we have individual meetings!!! I felt AWEFUL because I don't think I'm usually that irresponsible... but we haven't had class in three weeks, so I forgive myself. Anyway, that means that I didn't have to be ready until 3:45pm instead of 1pm (thanks for the "W," Wolbers).

I go back home, thinking I'll just take a shower and then plan my actions. Before I do, I decide to use my last 15 minutes of computer time to look up the number for the Mac store and inquire about my problem-- maybe we could trouble shoot over the phone. It's possible. I open my computer to find...

I have nearly FIVE HOURS on it! What?! I decide that the computer could be misreading it, but I decide to start trying to rewrite the script in Word instead of Final Draft. Miraculously, the computer stays alive, depleting in charge and continually saying it's NOT charging... but at some point I see that there is no way it could not be charging. I worked for hours and hours last night... it would FOR SURE have run out of battery if it wasn't charging. I guess it's just trying to fool me!!! MAJOR CRISIS AVERTED!

Anyway, I continue doing the script in Word and it's working WAAAAAY better than I thought. Although, it would probably only take an hour to type a script in Final Draft, after three hours I was nearly done with it in Word (it's a margin and spacing issue). BUUUUUT, I couldn't finish the last four pages because I was going to have a heart attack about being late. I left about 35 minutes before my appointment to go and print.

So I get to the library, which is VERY close to where my appointment is, and go to print. WEEEELL my Mac Word doesn't exactly fit with the Windows Word-- REALLY annoying, always. So I have to reformat it a bit. About 10 minutes before I have to be at my appointment, I print, without the last four pages. I just tear them off the back of the script I wrote with the watermarks, assuming he'd be fine with it-- it IS a rough draft. Oh God though, even in memory, 10 minutes makes my heart race! So I go to print and... OBVIOUSLY it won't. OOOOBVIOUSLY! This is why I leave 4 hours early for plane rides. I go up to the desk and they say the server is down so I should wait a minute. Fine. I go back to my computer and refresh like crazy.

Now I'm down to 4 minutes before I have to be at my appointment. I'm already going to be a minute late. AAAAAHHH!!

Honestly, I HATE being late! But I REALLY HAAAAAATE being late with people that I respect and admire, like I do with this professor. PLUS, unbeknownst to him, he was a huge contributing factor to my release from my chick flick funk a few days ago! And I just KNOOOOW he's waiting for me because last time he wasn't running late at all-- in fact, I went in several minutes early. Oh God!

FINALLY the computer allows me to release the document to be printed. I run over to the counter, but the guy says it WASN'T released!!! He tells me to wait...

Ten to FIFTEEN MINUTES!

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

As I'm leaving, actually whisper "FUCK!" aloud, which... I'm pretty sure I've never done before. Right afterwards, I immediately start berating myself. This is my fault. I know to leave earlier. Community printers are NEVER reliable. I only have 3 minutes left so I decide to go with my watermarked paper. I actually get out of the library, ready to run, when I remember that I actually crossed out a full page of the watermarked paper. Like... there is a big X over a page because I just planned to attach the last four pages to the first part in Word.

Immediately see that a big X is worse than being late. I go back into the library, trying to get another computer. It's already the time of my appointment. I finally get to the computer and see that the computer has charged me and that the document is in my history. I go to the man at the printing station and tell him that I'm pretty sure it went through. I have some documents pending, but I really did release one. He goes over and sees that that is correct and gives me my document.

I RUUUUN to my appointment and I get there in 2 minutes, but I'm already almost 6 minutes late... which I KNOOOOOW I sound insane about this time thing, but our meeting is only 15 minutes long! I feel TEEEEERRRRIBLE!! I get up to the floor and...

HE'S STILL IN A MEETING! This time he's running late!!! And he continues to be in a meeting for another TEN MINUTES!!!!! I am SOOOOOO relieved that I chose to go back and wait for the paper instead of choosing the big X, watermarked version of the assignment.

I end up having the meeting with him, and he didn't care about the watermarks or anything... which, I really knew he wouldn't. I got a B+/A- on the first half of the script, which has watermarks on it. PLUUUUS, as it turns out, I just ASSUMED we were turning in a final draft of that script, but we're not. Although I really think/hope that I finish my script so I can use it as a spec script later. Plus, I kind of like it. But the point is, I DEFINITELY don't have to buy Final Draft. $80 saved. Plus the billions saved because my computer is not really broken, just quirky.

Anyway, as I was walking home, I realized that even though I had this terrible, eventful, super stressful day... nothing even happened at ALL!! If I had done NOTHING, my day would have been just fine. I just had like... 1000 false alarms.

And that's why my day was BERNARDED!!!