Nudey

Update I guess.

Christmas and the works was lovely. As always, I dreaded the family gatherings but they were just fine. The best part was my completely reinstated love for my cousin when she brought up how it's impossible to tell what you actually like verses what you FEEL you should like based on the kind of person you want to be. Yes. EXACTly! Plus the food.

After Christmas, my mother and I were going to go shopping, which clearly didn't sound fun at all. Instead, we didn't and it was a beautiful, lazy day. However, on the 27th I conceded that shopping could no longer be avoided. But it went pretty well. I didn't really get angry at all and mostly neither did my mother. Then we had pizza and wings. My mom makes excellent wings, although this time she put tomato paste in them which, I believe, was a bit of a mistake. But they were okay.

Then she took us to see Sherlock Holmes, which was FANTASTIC in my opinion. Although I was a bit amused because the main scene in the previews in which Rachel McAdams, in a corset, kicks Downey Jr.'s ass was not actually in the film. Buuuut I thought Jude Law and RDJ had GREAT chemistry!!! Plus... he's SO attractive (both, although I'm specifically referring to Robert Downey)!!! SOOOO much charisma!!! I just think, and I've said it a trillion times, that Robert Downey Jr. is THE actor. Truly. Also, I'm really glad this movie didn't come out that year that The Prestige and The Illusionist came out because I think it would have seriously hindered this movie's brilliance... although that isn't to say that it's exactly like those movies. If you see it, I think you'll understand what I mean.

After the movie, my mom slipped and fell on black ice. She was fine but pissed at me (?) so instead of discussing the film, we had to be silent for the trip home, presumably in mourning over the fact that water freezes (sorry for the poorly masked bitterness).

Then Claire, Claire, Sarah, Natalya and I went to Atlantic City. It was fun, although we learned that Atlantic City is a much more depressing place that we imagined. LOTS of scary homeless people. LOTS of dazed elderlies. We walked into the poker room, which was not glamourous but more like a bingo room with 50-year-old grungy, red-eyed men, and said men STARED at us in such a blatant way that I (we, I assume) had a very bodily need to escape. I realize that we were the only young girls there, but as a group we weren't looking too great at ALL. PLUS it was about 1pm. I just mean to say that you could expect it a little at night when you're dolled up and people are drunk, but this felt like we were walking into 24/7, fluorescent lighting, gang bang hell. We fled back to the outlet stores until evening.

Our room was pretty nice and we got some Chinese food. Then we went back down to the slot machines. Gotta say, playing slot machines is WAAAAY more boring that you would think. It's just pulling a lever over and over again as you watch your money go. And you HAVE to start with $5 in the machine, even though the machine I played only charged a nickel per pull. So essentially I was stuck pulling a machine 100 times. Plus, I won a few cents here and there so... I really pulled it about 170 times. BOOOORING. I was over it as soon as my $5 was up. Actually, to be more precise, I was clearly over it after $1 was up. I can't be positive but I think this was approximately our final money count:

Blythe: -$5

Natalya: -$5

Claire S: +$3

Claire C: +$18

Sarah: -$45 (wah wah)

This is another one of those times in which I feel like I could have almost predicted this outcome based on the level of inherent luck I believe each of us to have, just like how I feel when I watch celebrity Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? In my case, as I've said before, I think I have FAIR luck but not GREAT luck. I didn't win, but I didn't get sucked in and I learned a lesson about the non-fun of gambling. Nothing to complain about.

Anyway, then we went back to our room and chatted for hours, which was glorious and really the reason for going at all, in my opinion. The other notable detail of the trip for me was that I scored a pair of nudey torso salt and pepper shakers. $1 for the set, which I think was a steal.

I think I'll end on a strong, nudey note. (I love the word "nudey," although definitely more in speech than in print. Whisper it to yourself. Doesn't it feel good?)

Although actually just one more thing. I just watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which was REALLY great. Another brilliant RDJ performance. Plus, it makes me reconsider Michelle Monaghan (Made of Honor) as... someone worth considering. Plus, you can't turn down that title. And I do love to watch Val Kilmer, although I also listened to the commentary right afterwards (to be honest, I've listened to MOST of the commentary but paused to write this) and I would for SURE not want to be friends with Val Kilmer. Although Downey was lovely.

And so HOT!!

Cheers

There was one casualty. Poor jade plant.

I didn't think about it and left it in the car over night. The big mama portion froze to death and leaked water (plant blood) from every joint. It felt like a thin carrot that had been in the refrigerator for a year.

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got

Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot

Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you wanna go

Where everybody knows your name

And they're [kind of] glad you came

You wanna go where people see

[Coke for one twenty five]

You wanna go where everybody knows your name

You wanna go where [no one knows]

[Most use Purell, not wipes]

You wanna go where everybody knows your name

(outside Superfresh)

The Journey

Moving was tricky.

On Sunday I stayed up late because I was studying for my 9am exam (I think I got an A-). Whatever whatever. Then I had errands to run: sell back books ($54-miracle!), return library books, eat lunch, have tea with Cayla and Spiegs.

Another issue was the digging out of my vehicle. Katherine suggested I buy a shovel or look for a free one on craigslist. I neither wanted to spend the money nor the time, so when I came back from my errands, I planned on putting my stuff down and tackling the problem with only my hands and feet to help me. However, that's when I spotted my frying pan which, as it happens, is shaped like a small shovel.

Twenty minutes later, I return a little cold and embarrassed, but successful.

At this point I'm exHAUSTed but I stay up for another hour talking to Elena and Matt. At some point I lay down and pass out for an hour to be awoken by Elena leaving.

I have a grief panic attack for about 40 minutes, put on Love Actually, and try to BEGIN the packing. Interruptions came in the form of a 1.5 hour conversation with Kevin on the miracles of Avatar, a much needed pizza break, and good points in the movie. At around 2am I decided that sleep was more important since I was going to drive all day the next day.

Woke up at 8:15am with a lot of work ahead of me. At about 10am I decided to call ORL because even though I'd been saying I had to be out by noon, I thought I'd read that I had to turn in my keys by 1pm. The lady at the desk was clearly a middle aged white woman:

Blythe: Hi I'm moving out for good today and I wanted to double check the time I have to leave.

MAWW: Noon! You have to be out by noon! You should be ready by now!

Blythe: uh right.

Anyway, I DID return my keys 20 minutes early. It was just fine. Went to Campco. Used the last of my points. And I was off.

The playlist was fairly successful at first. Around 2pm I started getting tired but that passed. Happened again around 6pm. That was rough. It was an intense battle between the sleepy and the adrenaline made from the fear that I was going to die because of the sleepy. I contend that it was impossible to predict which tunes were going to help the evil side (the sleepy) and which would keep me alive. For instance, my carefully planned movie theme song portion of the list was a bust, whereas the Elvis section was surprisingly helpful. I actually think it was because Elvis sings low enough for me to sing along, while I had to just LISTEN to the theme songs because I couldn't hit any notes. The only real thing that pumped me up was knowing I was really close to home (which sadly happened at about the time I saw "Havertown" on the signs).

Got home around 8:30pm, chatted with my brother for a few minutes, and passed out. Although we did briefly discuss a new video that I might cameo in. Merry Christmas to me.

Now no one is here. My brother and sister had school today, if you can believe it.

Mr. Snow

BAAAAHH!!

Okay. First of all, snow happened, which everyone already knows blah blah.

Second-- I have only $87. ONE of my paychecks did not go through this week... I THINK I'm getting that money next Friday, but it's impossible to say. But... I THOUGHT I would have $187. It wouldn't matter because that's certainly enough money to get home. But I've never driven in snow before and I'm just CONVINCED that I'm going to get into an accident and only have $20 to spare... which wouldn't get me anywhere.

Now I AM going to return my books, but I'll probably just be left with more than half of my books and $5. That's what I've learned about returning books. I could also TRY to get my leftover loan money. Otherwise, I'm going to have to try ESPECIALLY hard to not get into an accident... which I'm PRETTY SURE I already do.

I also have to study for my 9am exam and clean and pack. Please do not underestimate the latter.

I WOULD like to do my laundry... but that's clearly not going to happen.

Gotta say, the snow IS lovely though. I was walking home last night and I felt very peaceful. Plus, it's much warmer now that it's snowing. AAAAAND apparently they turned the heat up to keep the pipes from freezing... which has made me feel incredibly cosy.

Of course, because I have no money... and WAY too many meals left, I have to get all of my meals from the dining hall. Thus I must choose between two evils-- being hungry or putting on clothes and walking through snow. I still have not decided.

Pressing Business

So the other day I made a rough draft of the monster travel playlist I'm so excited about! However, there were a few unexpected things to consider:

1. 9.5 hours is NOT that long. While trying to anticipate what I would want to hear after every given song, I realized that there is no room for comedy interference. After all, it's not every day that you get to listen to every song that no one else will ever want to hear with you. That being said, I may have miscalculated how much music I can listen to at one time. It's really impossible to say.

2. There is a good chance the trip will only take around 7 hours-- that's the amount of time it takes normal people to make the journey. In fact, Rachael was aiming for 6 hours. But there is an equally good chance that it will take the 9.5 hours that it took last time. Therefore, I have to decide what music can be sacrificed-- what music will I NOT be sad I missed if it only takes 7 hours. Conversely, if it takes 9.5 hours, that last 2.5 hours are going to be my sleepiest, bored-est time of the trip. Therefore, the last few hours have to be to be exciting but sacrifice-able. Is that even possible?!

3. I still can't sing at all-- it's been two weeks and I still sound like death. The entire playlist will have to be altered if I can't sing by Tuesday. LOTS of music will just bum me out if I can't sing along.

As with the internet, I wonder how living would be without ipods. What if I had to choose CDs??!!! What if I had to rely on the radio!!??

What? Did you think I'd talk about finals? Na-HAY. I got bigger fish to fry.

Snippets of My Escape

I have, in no way, recovered. In fact, I am absolutely worse. I forget what my real voice sounds like. I am exceedingly resentful of the $50 non-cures, although I recognize that it's in the past. Puh!

I had to go to the Hillel today even though there are no classes. Expecting even less activity than usual, I brought Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris which I've been rereading merrily, AAND Ella Enchanted. I succumbed and read the latter. So, with a final looming on Thursday and another on Monday, I read and finished a children's book in.... 4 or 5 hours? And I took a 4 or 5 hour nap. I need to revise "all I can do is read a book to stay awake" to "all I can do is read a book, then fall asleep-- why choose between pleasures?" The book was delectable though. I kind of want to watch the movie, which I've never seen before. But I equally want to preserve the book in my head. When I gave the book to my sister a while ago, I thought I was bestowing a rare and heavenly gift upon her. She told me she thought it was "okay" and I judge her. I judge her so hard.

In other news, my L.A. trip has again devolved to uncertainty. My grandmother is now coming on the trip, and as a result, my mother says she might not come. Now I just want to go alone. I am the most over it ever.

I am ALSO over goodbyes. If Natalya was here, I would have the confidence to depart with a healthy "see ya" like I did in high school. Alone it seems thoughtless. With a partner, it's just quirky.

Motivation

I don't think there are enough songs that speak to a lack of motivation. If only there was something MORE fun than rewatching Sex and the City. I think that's why I love "No Rain" so much.

"Blythe, can you write entries that DON'T have to do with the same damn television shows and the occasional lengthy fawn over 'No Rain'?!"

"No inner-Blythe, I cannot. And that's the problem."

Honestly though:

Ooooo-oo-oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo-oo
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watching the puddles gather rain

And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
And speak my point of view
But it's not sane, it's not sane

I just want someone to say to me oh, oh, oh, oh
I'll always be there when you wake, yea-ah
You know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made

And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape
Escape......escape......escape......

ANYWAY, I really love watching celebrity Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? on youtube. I think it's because you can ALMOST predict exactly what's going to happen based on the level of luck that I image that particular celebrity to have. For instance, Ben Stiller got stumped on the question for $250,000. The question was about what, exactly, a loofa is. He ended up doing 50/50 AND asking his mother, but was VERY skeptical about the answer... but he had great odds. His mother thought it was the same thing as he did and there were only TWO answers on the board. Over MUCH hesitation, he went for it and lost. I don't REAAAALLY believe in magic or a general level of luck, but I really think if it was Jennifer Aniston, she would have won. That's just how I view the luck of Aniston vs. Stiller.

This weekend represented the EXACT amount of luck I think I have, which is a lot, but not the pinnacle. Which is damn good. I'm not complaining. I started to explain why I think this, but it came out sounding really lame. Instead I'll just say that I thanked my quite-lucky, although not pinnacle-lucky, stars that I won't have any sad memories about this part of the semester.

Mission accomplished.

MOTIVATION!!!!! COME TO ME!!!!! PLEEEEAAAASSEEE!!!!

People starving, people abused, the downfall of our consumerist society... I know I know I know!!!!

4:46AM

I think that what I will learn from this year is that I just shouldn't do every single thing that I want whenever I want. I think this is going to be my year of id. Now if only I could LEARN the lesson!! I think I need to make some goals. In FACT, if I want to be completely honest about it, I decided to make a list of goals about two weeks ago. While the list has YET to be made, whenever I am struck with shame over how I'm spending my time I think to myself "this will go on the list." I imagine I will make the ACTUAL list while I'm trying to write a paper due Monday. Actually, if we're going to be honest, I'll probably THINK I should at LEAST make the list while I'm procrastinating, but I'll actually be watching Craig Ferguson interviewing Russell Brand on youtube for the forty-millionth time.

I'm DEFINITELY going to learn some sort of lesson about this EVENTUALLY. But... maybe later. Maybe in a few months. HOPEFULLY before I hit 25. That seems like a great goal.

I'll put it on the list.

Dooped by the RN

Caught myself a cold. Actually it happened a while ago (LIKELY the Tuesday/Wednesday before Thanksgiving, when I sucked in heavy doses of air from strangers during my 13 hours of public transport), but it hasn't really been an issue until recently when I lost my voice on Sunday. And it was only SLIGHTLY better on Monday. And it wasn't much different today. And I only care because my LAST Chords concert is on Friday and I'll be DEVASTATED if I can't sing in it. DEVASTATED!!

Thus, I conceded to go to the doctor. I don't typically think of myself as being afraid of the doctor, but I KNOW I'm not taking good care of myself, and I don't like having to be really honest about what I put my poor body through. I don't sleep "right." I don't eat "right." I sit in my room in the cold for hours and hours... not "right." I ran out of my advanced inhaler about... 1.5 years ago and haven't pursued a new one... and I just ran out of my run-of-the-mill inhaler... and wasn't fully planning on getting a new one of those either. Not "right" (and you obviously know that my quotations are implying my denial). I don't even wear a jacket. I don't even OWN a jacket (although I really DO believe that that's fine-- I'm quite toasty in my duel-sweatshirt-action). There may or may not be other unhealthy things that I omit because I'm REALLY in denial.

ANYWAY, I decided to go to the doctor because my desire to sing outweighed my fear of being scolded. It wasn't TERRIBLE. Although I think it's because after we had a tiff over me not owning a thermometer and not refilling some inhalers, I told my doctor essentially everything I wrote in the previous paragraph (hopefully I omitted some of it, but I blacked out and have no idea what my exact words were).

Turns out I have some sort of lingering post-nasal drip (wha?) and I was prescribed a variety of crap. As I was swiping my credit card for my near-$50 purchase of cures, I felt an incredible sense of resentment. After all, there's no guarantee that I'll be able to sing on Friday, and my illness is going to fade EVENTUALLY if I take nothing at all. Lame.

I had BETTER be able to sing on Friday or I will not only be broke and devastated-- I'll be PISSED! What am I supposed to do with an entire bottle of saline nasal spray?

In other news, I watched Mulholland Drive today. I'm SOOOO glad I got to watch it in my film class, because otherwise I'd just think it was obnoxious. But after we discussed it for an hour, I sort of thought it was brilliant. Although... not enough to watch it again, probably (and when I say that I mean not until 3 years from now when I'll NEED to watch it again).

Last week I was alls about the Christmas. We listened to some tunes on the way back from Thanksgiving. Then I watched You've Got Mail (I REALLY like that movie and resent that people don't appreciate it because it's a romantic comedy. Just like Runaway Bride-- not enough credit for those films, I think). Then The Family Stone. But then I promptly forgot about the holidays when I rediscovered sims and Sex and the City. Gotta get back on the wagon, or shall I say SLEIGH!

Plus I have to start thinking (worrying) about gifts.

Maybe I'll just wait until I have lungs of steel again.

Are we not having any Christmas-themed movies this season? Am I forgetting one? Not that I'm complaining... just wondering.

What's Happening?

Today I was watching Sex and the City (and playing the sims... buuuuu Huuhh!) and in one episode Miranda was finding consolation for her life by eating cheap cake and watching The Daily Show. Twas a little too close to home.

HER solution was to get a vibrator.

Deck the Halls

One of these things is not like the other...

Some Reflection

Well I WOULD go on and on about the absurdity of 68 degrees in December, but as everyone experienced that, I feel I should move on.

But seriously....

So the end of the semester is coming at warp speed. Things are getting too scary to put off-- although I'm still doing it... so I'm in a constant state of self-inflicted panic. I'm also having random surges of fear about never seeing people again. Awkward when it happens as I'm walking down the street and suddenly I get the uncontrollable frowny face before you cry.

ANYWAY ANYWAY, on the upside, I've realized that I need to make a 10 hour playlist for my solo trip back home. This is the only thing that I'm NOT procrastinating on. I think the trick is going to be predicting, not the music and comedy that I want on the playlist, but rather the order in which I'm going to want to hear it. For instance, at what point am I going to want to listen to the entire soundtrack of The Nightmare Before Christmas? Is that going to be a pumped-for-the-trip first few hours sort of a listen ... or is that the 7th hour when I'm crazy from the redundancy and solitude of my task. Hard to say... but I LOVE thinking about it. In fact, if you see me walking down the street, brow furrowed in deep thought, you can safely guess that I'm thinking about my playlist order. Expect updates on this matter.

Today, as I was preparing to go to work (putting on the second sweatshirt-- unforeseeable mistake), I realized that I was going to finish my other Bridget Jones and I needed a new book. Suddenly I felt compelled to read Ella Enchanted again, even though it's a child's book. So I dug through all of my stuff to get the book, but when I finally found it, I just couldn't BEAR to think of reading it in public. Too embarrassing. Especially since it is SUPER tattered from multiple, MULTIPLE readings-- some parts were, in fact, memorized in their hay day. I picked up The Perks of Being a Wallflower, because at this point I was running late (/5 minutes early, which in my mind is late)... but then I decided not to start it because I JUST read it in September... so it really seems far too soon.

In regards to this, two things occurred me:

1. I need a new book. But I want a funny one... or one that's so compelling that I'll read it easily... and I don't know who to ask for a recommendation. That's your cue, readers! (imaginary readers?)

2. How come I can wear the same goddamn thing every single day, but I can't bear to read a child's book in front of others-- especially when odds are, no one is going to see what I'm reading anyway! Self-illuminating experience.

Also, I was looking up pictures of Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake (procrastinating) and... I think we are VERY ready for them to do a collaborative song. It would be the next "Single Ladies" in popularity, I think. So.... let's make that happen.