I Want to Literally CONSUME Celebrity Mole

I'm so thankful to netflix for allowing me to stop buying so many movies... but recently I rented Celebrity Mole, which is the ACTUAL first show that I ever watched loyally every week. BUUUT to be fair it only had 6 episodes. So... it wasn't that long of a commitment. (When I say the ACTUAL first, I mean that I usually tell people that I never watched a show loyally every week before The Office... but like I said, this was only 6 weeks and that's like.. 24.)

But in case you don't know what The Mole is, it's a game in which a group of people all participate in games and stuff to win money, but one person is trying to sabotage the group and lose the group's money without everyone figuring out who they are-- they're the mole. And then they all take a quiz about who they think the mole is. The questions are like "what color shorts was the mole wearing in the cliff diving game?" or something like that. And then whoever gets the least right answers has to leave. 

So anyway, I LOOOVED celebrity mole. The celebrities were Kathy Griffin (first thing I ever saw her in), Erik von Detton (obsessed with him at the time. He was in Brink and The Princess Diaries), Stephen Baldwin (The Usual Suspects and now really religious Baldwin brother), Corbin Bernsen (I'm not sure... some sort of Law and Order or something), Michael Boatman (Spin City), Frederique Van Der Wal (Victoria's Secret model), and Kim Coles (In Living Color). 

So it isn't so mysterious that I loved the show when I saw it in 2003. What IS mysterious is that I felt the need, out of the 200 movies that I want to see on netflix, to rent out. I got all 3 disks of this like... Z-list celebrity show to watch AGAIN! And what is perhaps stranger... I LOOOOOVED it! I was laughing more than like... any other movie! And the thing is... sometimes I just want to ABSORB things. Sometimes I watch things and I literally... this isn't a joke or even an exaggeration... feel pain AS I watch them because I know I have to part with it. Or even that at some point I'm not ever going to watch it again. I feel literal pain from it. I used to go to the local catholic high school shows... like musicals... with my cousin a lot in 6th and 7th grade... and it was TORTURE for me because I'd be so upset that I couldn't watch it again. And I'd spend all of my money... or powers of persuasion... trying to get another $8 and a ride so I could go again. But I would just get more upset because then it's even LESS likely I'll see it a third time. I would write terrible little limericks about my misery. And even now, at 21, I still feel pain sometimes when I watch things. Because I want to ABSORB it into my body and have it forever. And honestly, I'm not sure anyone else could even sit through this damn show, but ... I can't help what I love. 

Even the people ON the show would judge me for loving it so much. But I do. And, in my opinion, celebrity shows are nicer... because there isn't so much animosity. They are having more fun. There's less at stake. Plus you can think about the things you already know about them. And if you love them, you get to learn new things... and lord knows I love to hear my celebs talk... it's the essence of my obsession with late night TV. 

ANYWAY, in other news, I decided to make both chicken parm AND breaded chicken and use that as my food for the rest of the time. I did burn the chicken parm... in fact, it's really a glorified pasta dish for me because I don't think I did it right. The issue is that I think the changes I make are just going to cater to me more... but maybe I don't have a good sense of what's ruining the meal and what isn't. But the breaded chicken was better this time because I took Caroline's advice and poured melted butter over it before I cooked it. Wise. 

Today I got from netflix

1. the third DVD to said 2003 game of Celebrity Mole.

2. a stand up DVD of David Cross

and 3. Sophie's Choice

Very eclectic. 

Quest for The God Delusion

Yesterday was interesting. 

I feel obligated to say something about Michael Jackson, although I'm not sure what. I was shocked he died. I hope they come out with the music he was working on. I was surprised and interested at how many people remembered how obsessed I was with him from like... 7th-8th grade. I don't want to be archaic and anti-technology sounding, because I really don't think I am, and I certainly don't want to be, but when Matt and Elena and I were watching stuff on the news, the phrase "heart felt tweets" came up a few times... ...I mean... how heart felt can 160 characters of thought be... about a guy you didn't even know? I just think it seems like we've redefined what "heart felt" means. "I'm sad he died- Thriller was awesome"... it just seems rude. But conversely, I don't know what I could have expected... and I'm kind of being a pretentious douche for remarking on it. And surely it's worse that it strikes me as upsetting and rude when referring to Michael Jackson when there are about a jillion ruder tweets and sentiments going out about the protesters in Iran and other worldly and more life-altering events. So...

Regardless, I do think that he would have continued to make some more quality music. I hope his children are left with the profit of high last record sales instead of enormous debt, which I believe is their current situation, although I'm not positive. Although surely no one will love them as much as their father did and that's really unfortunate. 

The other day, when I was watching random youtube things, Anne Coulter came across the screen and she's almost impossible to not watch, which annoyingly is why she's famous. So I was watching her on The View etc and I feel like she's one of the only people that I'd never want to meet for fear of LITERALLY punching her in the face. And I've never hit anyone in my life. And I never want to. But she's FUCKING INSANE! / I can hardly even believe that SHE believes what she's saying and that's even MORE annoying. And maybe it's because I've never really listened to Rush Limbaugh so... maybe I'd hate him too. But at least with people like Bill O'Reilly... he can be annoyingly stubborn (and so too can the left be for sure) but at least he has an argument. At least you could talk to him and in the end agree to disagree. But she's just a fucking irrational bitch and the MOST annoying part is that she's clearly intelligent and educated... so it's completely COMPLETELY unacceptable. She watches what happens, she knows the facts, and she's still insane. What I'm saying is that I think Bill O'Reilly would hate Anne Coulter, although I don't know for sure. 

So, remembering that she did these debates with Bill Maher in New York, I decided to look up Anne Coulter and Bill Maher, expecting to receive a little atonement on the matter. But nay!! To my shock, Bill Maher wouldn't let his audience boo at her, and while he obviously didn't agree with what she was saying, he just CHUCKLED and moved on to different questions. And he called her his friend. 

Now, on the one hand, I know he doesn't want to be hypocritical and I admire that. In his film Religulous he emphasized the point, not that religion is insane necessarily, but that you can't know. He doesn't know and YOU don't know. And that's pretty admirable. So I understand that he pisses people off by being too liberal and therefore he's trying to defend stating your beliefs at the risk of pissing people off by allowing Anne Coulter to speak. I get it and it's admirable. 

That being said, she is an ASSHOLE and doesn't have consideration for ANYONE but her specific demographic (if it's not just an act... and if it IS an act, it's pretty much WORSE because she's being so fucking irresponsible!!!! in order to incense people and sell books!!!).  It's VERY important to acknowledge that YOU might be wrong. True knowledge is knowing that you know NOTHING. But on the other hand, I think it's important to take a stand... because otherwise you're passively watching everything happen and feeling self-important that you are wisely acknowledging that any direction COULD be the right one, however unlikely that is.

*Note: When I say "right," I do believe that there is no "right" and "wrong," which I feel inclined to clarify. But for the purpose of this, since I don't want to be back stepping and clarifying all day long, let's just say there is a better or "right" path to take. 

So after watching the disaster with Bill Maher, I decided to watch someone who I think DOES take a stand on things while still acknowledging that, as a scientist, he knows that you can't be absolutely certain about anything. And that man is Richard Dawkins. After watching him do a half-hour presentation at Ted Talks, which I believe I've watched before, but I've watched many of his things before, I decided that I finally want to read his book called The God Delusion. 

So after asking the only person I thought might have it (Elena-- she didn't have it. Although she does love Richard Dawkins, which I knew) I decided I may go on a mission to find it. 

Interestingly, the next day I woke up at 10:40am ready to go (after a night of fun with Katherine, returned from New Zealand). So I decided to first go to the bank and see what's going on with my debit card, which is expiring this month but I haven't gotten a new one. And I thought, if I'm going to the bank, I might as well visit Caroline at Temptations if she's working. So I text her to see if she's working and my phone won't let me after several attempts and turning my phone off and on etc. Whatever, I tend to not worry about broken technology until 48 hours after discovering the issue because I usually believe it will solve itself (BTW, itunes problem solved). 

So I go to the bank and learn that they sent me a new card on May 18th, obviously to my PA home, where my mom tells me it never came. So I end up ordering a new card and he asks me where I want it sent. After confirming that the address where the card will be mailed won't affect the address they have marked as my permanent address, I tell them to send it to this apartment. Although I FORGOT that my name isn't on the box, so it was very lucky that I mentioned it was a sublet and HE thought enough to realize my name isn't on the box. So... hopefully it works out. But I had to get money out of the bank because I won't have a card for about a week. 

So then I decide to call Caroline to see if she's working and my phone tells me that it's been temporarily disconnected. Well THAT'S bad. So first I go and get a sandwich at Temptations. Caroline WAS there but it was crowded so she couldn't chat. Then I called my mom from a pay phone to tell her about my phone. She told me she'd take care of it after she was done with a patient. Then I called Elena to tell her I didn't have a phone right now and that I'd call her later and she should answer if she gets another call from an unknown number (we were planning on hanging out later).

So I made my way to the Boston Public Library because I wanted to get a library card... and get The God Delusion. So I get there and it turns out that you can't get a library card unless you have an ID FROM Boston. I told her that I was a resident and that I had a student ID and everything. But she wouldn't let me get one! It definitely makes sense. After all, they have to hold you accountable for the books and it's not like you would give them your credit card number or something. Still, it bummed me out. I left dejected. 

BUT while I was on the T going back home, I realized that this is probably going to a be a problem when I get my license. What address am I going to put on my license if I get it in MA? I considered the library fiasco a blessing in disguise because now I see that I should probably get my license in PA. 

ANYWAY, I made my way back to BU and decided that I should try the Mugar library (the main BU one) for the book.  So I look it up and they DO have it but it isn't due back until AUGUST 10th! I didn't even know you could take books out for that long! So I leave thinking... I guess God DOES exist because he clearly doesn't want me to have this book! Right after I leave, my mom calls me and tells me that my phone is reconnected. I was about to tell her about the license thing, but she had to go to her patient. I was really surprised and pleased that she placed my phone as a priority, because I certainly didn't. But she seemed really concerned that I was in Boston without a phone. Very nice.

Anyway, I decide to walk to Barnes and Noble, KNOWING that I shouldn't buy it there because I shouldn't use all of my funds, but not being able to resist SEEING how much it will cost. On my way to the Barnes and Noble, I come across Sonya. Among other things, she tells me that SHE has the book and that I can borrow it (although I'm almost positive that that will never happen). But she also suggests I try the used book stores around before I go for Barnes and Noble. So I decided that I WOULD go to the only used book store that I've been to. So I go in and realize I have no idea what section it would be in. Richard Dawkins is an evolutionary biologist so I thought it might be in the science section. Checked and no. So I thought... maybe the religion section. Nay. So I think POSSIBLY the literary criticism section... it's a stretch but maybe it's considered a criticism of the Bible. Finally I decided to just ASK the guy... although I felt REALLY weird about it... which is something Richard Dawkins discusses... how atheists feel judged and awkward and avoid the matter completely. In fact, I honestly feel childish even SAYING the word "atheist"... kind of in the same way that I feel like a southern republican when I say the word "America" or how I feel... just silly saying the word "terrorist." Terrorists are scary, I do love America, and I am an atheist. But... the words, to me, have extra connotations than I would prefer they don't have. 

ANYWAY, he did NOT seem to think I was being childish and he knew exactly what book I was talking about. He said he had one a few days ago but that he was pretty sure it was gone (science section, btw). He told me that they get them in all the time but that they're pretty popular and leave just as quickly. Then he chuckled and said too bad I wasn't looking for Gladwell. I'm not incredibly well read and didn't understand his inside joke. But, whatever relation to The God Delusion this "Gladwell" had, I wanted to know. So I asked him to show me. He pointed out The Tipping Point and Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. 

I looked at The Tipping Point first because.. that's what he handed to me. It said The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference. National bestseller. "A fascinating book that makes you see the world in a different way." - Fortune. Sold. I also bought the book The Art of Watching Films. 

Then I went BACK to Temptations because it was so close and it was like... 2 hours later, not lunch time, and would be inevitably less busy. I bought a Dr. Pepper and chatted with Caroline for like.. a minute. Although I STILL hadn't found time to eat the sandwich that I bought a few hours ago.

Then, because it was such a nice day, and I had my sandwich and some books,  I thought I should find a nice place to read and eat and be merry. I got a few free glasses of water from the GSU and was GOING to park on the BU beach (not an actual beach... just a grassy place that vaguely sounds like a beach because it's next to a highway... more pleasant than it sounds) but then I saw the river and decided that I would go to the esplanade instead. 

When I sat down, I realized my mom had called me back, which I wasn't expecting her to do. I told her the issue with the license and she made the... I don't want to be rude... but incredibly foolish recommendation to get the license in New York, where I'm learning and getting the permit. How could that make it better? I questioned? I don't have ANY address there. She told me I could use grandpa's address... but that's insane because then I'd be LIVING in MA, I'd be registered to vote and have my credit card stuff and ... my permanent address in PA, but I'd mysteriously have a New York state drivers license? That's pretty dumb. But she was very adamant on me NOT getting it in PA... I don't know why although I secretly suspect it's because she doesn't want to deal with it or she doesn't want me to come home. Both upsetting thoughts.. and probably rude that that's what I'm thinking. Anyway, she said that I'm living in MA so THAT'S where I should get it since THAT'S where I'll be driving. But I told her I am potentially only going to be here for like... 4 more months because my tentative plan is to go to LA. And, I didn't tell her this because it didn't occur to me until later, but I'll pretty much NEVER drive in MA because ... I obviously don't have a car here. So it's almost the MOST absurd to get the license in MA. 

Nevertheless, I think I'm going to call the DMV and explain and see what they recommend. Although I hope that they are pleasant because when people are mean or sound irritated that I am asking questions, I get nervous and my goal instantly switches from wanting information to wanting to get off the phone as soon as possible. Inevitably, I do not gain the information that I called seeking. Maybe I'll see if they have an email address first. 

After my conversation with my mom, I started reading The Tipping Point, which is so full of interesting information that I can't possibly relay it to you. Maybe later. But I ended up reading it from like... 3pm to 6pm or something like that and I briefly considered that I might need some sunscreen, but I decided that the sun was no longer highest in the sky, I didn't want to go all the way home to get some (far) because I'd never come back, and I didn't want to buy any when I already have some at home. Not shockingly, I DID get burned. But not severely and today it's not red anymore. Plus, even though next time I'll bring sunscreen, I'm pleased that I got sun so that I can convert some of my vitamin D. 

Lastly, I hung out with Matt and Elena, mostly watching stuff about Michael Jackson (which I found out through texts while I was on the esplanade). Also, after listening to my tale, Elena told me that at the BU library they can recall books for you OR they can order the book for you from another library. ALSO she said that if you go to the Boston Public Library, you can get a library card if you just show proof of address. I just need to bring in my student ID and a piece of mail. I'm a little upset that the lady didn't tell me that. After all, I kind of expect people who work at a library to be friendly. Maybe thats presumptuous, but... I don't care! Plus Matt made some delicious chicken parmesan, which made me jealous of the skills... and full. And he gave me the leftovers, which I ate instantly upon going home. 

And you know what ELSE I did instantly upon getting home right before 12pm? I fell asleep. MIRACLE!

Today I think I'm going to buy a pot at Good Will because I think I'm going to attempt to make stew again and then ladle it into tupperware instead of just putting the pot in the fridge... which inevitably disgusts me 2 days later. It worked with the rosemary chicken. I JUST finished it today... it's the miracle of tupperware meals. 

Surely that's the worst part about being only responsible for yourself. If you have a family, you make a meal and then at most you have leftovers for the next day only. Usually you don't have full meal leftovers. But if you're alone, you make meals for the week. 

(Just so you know, if you stick this text into a document, 1 inch margins, size 12, times new roman... it's almost a full 5 pages long. Because I'm the most long-winded person I know.)

Daily Show on Iran

I highly recommend watching these segments that The Daily Show did in Iran. Very interesting (and obviously funny). 

(For real. Please feel guilt-tripped into doing it. )

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Lazy and Tolerant

My solitude is becoming so much of a blessing that I'm not sure I'll be able to regularly mingle with people that I less-than-adore in the future. My guilt has miraculously completely vanished without a trace because apparently I only need to get one thing done per... period of time... and that shall be driving. Done. 

So, yesterday I was in my room, doing whatever, and at some point I realized that no one had really contacted me in over a day which is kind of weird. Usually I get a few texts per day. So it crossed my mind that I hadn't heard from anyone, but I lazily just thought the solitude was taking it's toll. As we've all learned time and time again, if you refuse to go anywhere, people stop inviting you places. Still, I didn't give too much thought to it. Although I'm sure if 56 hours went by, I'd be beside myself with grief. 

ANYWAY

Then I start noticing that my phone was kind of lighting up every few minutes, but no activity was happening. Again, it wasn't too conscious of a thought, so I dismissed it as being broken and continued with my movie. 

Eventually Matt called me and asked where I was. He told me he'd been texting me for 2 days but that I hadn't responded. I almost instantly understood that my phone was full and was no longer accepting messages, which was pretty funny. Although Matt told me he was really concerned because if anything HAD happened to me, I don't live with anyone and I don't have a job so no one would really know. He told me he looked at my blog to see if I'd updated and THAT'S how he knew I was alive. Weird. 

Anyway, I fixed the tub situation! I don't know why I thought Draino was $12 because it was actually $6. I was INCREDIBLY skeptical, mostly because I'd just used unclogger fluid before and if that one made no difference, why would another brand work? But it DID!! And I can literally SEE the water drain. It's amazing how much you appreciate things that are fixed. Like when you have a cold and then FINALLY it's gone and you can breathe out of both nostrils again?! That's awesome. 

I'm pretty sure that tolerance and laid-back-ed-ness comes directly from laziness. I'm SURE a less tolerant or laid back person wouldn't have been able to STAND the tub and would have instantly found a way to get it clean. But... I didn't care until I thought I was going to have some people other than me USING the tub, and that's when I got things done. But the same thing happens to me all the time. This is going to make me seem RIDICULOUS but I'll tell anyway. I've had my windows open constantly for a while but I keep the shades down (for the naked time, obvs). Well the weather hasn't been too great and while I enjoy the cold, the wind keeps flapping the shade in a disconcerting manner. Sometimes when I'm asleep I wake up startled because the shade sounds like it's someone sitting across the room. Despite this, I haven't closed the window. For no other reason than it didn't seem worth it. I mean... I didn't consciously think "Should I close the window? Nah. Not worth it." But still, somewhere in my brain, I decided that to get up, cross the room and close the window was too much effort to expel on solving the problems of startled awakenings and shade flapping. And it's the same way with the tub. Somewhere in my mind, it was okay that the tub was disgusting because it wasn't worth the effort of fixing it.  I don't know what this says about me, if it says anything at all. I'm just saying, it's what I've noticed. 

Anyway, I also did my scrapbook today, which was lovely. And I like to watch things I don't have to concentrate on while I do other things so I chose to watch movies I'd already seen. The first was Ghostbusters. Awesome movie. Really. And then I watched Enchanted, which is also amazing. Both are, in my opinion, SUPER solid movies for the whole family. Like... they aren't crap even though they're blockbusters. People really tried on them. But they aren't serious. I do have to specifically point out, although I've said it a million times, that Amy Adams in Enchanted is AMAZING! Her AND James Marsden. They're great because they play it without a HINT of sarcasm. And they obviously thought that movie through completely because the movie tells you, yes, believe in fairytales and happy endings. And be kind to people. And some things and people look bad but they aren't. But also, Amy Adams saves the day, she gets her own job, a princess fashion designer, which makes perfect sense since she makes her clothes in the whole movie, and she learns that you need to get to know people, which is different from some other princess movies. But they do it without ANY sarcasm. I think it's awesome. 

And, actually I DO also have to specifically mention that Ghostbusters, to me, is amazing because it doesn't take itself TOO seriously, but they still thought it out. It's funny, but it's a complete story and all of the elements of the world are explained. They didn't just think it was cool that people catch ghosts. Everyone has a personality, they have a good explanation, they have a beginning, middle, and end. Perfect. 

Also, before I watched Cashback yesterday, I watched Just One of the Guys, which is an 80s movie where a girl dresses like a guy to write an article. I don't even need to tell you it was terrible.... but it's the perfect terrible movie because it has all the elements that really piss me off... because the writer just didn't THINK! This girl decides that people don't take her seriously because she's a girl. She chops of all her hair and dresses like a boy (NO montage or anything. We didn't see her go to a stylist and awkwardly say what haircut she wanted. We didn't see her try on her brothers clothes. Am I to assume this was easy?). Then she goes to another school and acts like a boy. How did she enroll in this school? How is she just MISSING her other school? This girl has a schedule and everything. And I do NOT think I'm being picky. These are HUGE questions. And THEN she goes to the prom with the only friend who knows and her jerk boyfriend comes because he demanded to know where she was from her brother, and she exposes that she's a girl, and her knew friend that she's now in love with is really upset because she lied to him but eventually he sees the light... blah blah blah blah. BUUUUT they didn't even explain the article she wrote. They just say it was ABOUT being like a boy and the teacher goes "you really like that guy, huh?" But like... they didn't even start OUT the article. What could it have possibly been about? What did she DISCOVER while being a boy that would make the article interesting? You know the writer didn't even know. And that's the problem. The writer needs to know EVERYTHING otherwise there is no validity. Otherwise I can't suspend my belief. AAAAAND ALSO the main guy was apparently obsessed with James Brown. Like... when you went into his room, there were ONLY James Brown posters. And she was like "let's listen" and he was like "no because when I listen to James I have to dance and I can't do that in front of other people." And it never came up again!!!! How could that not come up again?! I NEEDED to see him dance like James Brown. Why did they even put that in there??!

The reason I didn't write that yesterday is because I didn't want to ruin the purity of the Cashback promotion. 

Also ELENA IS BACK!

32 Seconds

Got the new Run Lola Run disk. I'd missed exactly 32 seconds! I made them re-ship me the movie for 32 seconds! I needed it! Very good. 

Cashback

I've found a GREAT one!

I was looking through movies I can watch instantly and I decided to go for the independent genre. One of the first movies I saw was called Cashback and the brief synopsis sounded VERY much like a short film I'd seen in screenwriting. So I put the movie on and it starts with a narration and I was like "wow, the guy in the short was British and youthful just like this guy sounds." And then the guy comes on the screen and I realized that it was indeed the same guy. So then I had to rack my brain. Was the film I saw actually feature length?  I distinctly remembered the guy but I didn't remember the exact scene, which... I don't think I would forget a scene... especially not so quickly. So I wikipedia-ed it and the writer/producer/director made the short film and then made it into a long film more than a year later!! which I think is pretty amazing. So I grappled over whether I needed to watch the long version if I already saw the short one. 

I did and it was WORTH IT! I really loved it. Better than the short... kind of by a lot. Although the short was good. But it was a little creepier as a short. But what's amazing is that, to my recollection, all of the short is WITHIN the feature... and it's unbelievable because it's the same actors and it's... brilliantly the heart of the plot still so it's completely seamless. Unless I'm mistaken, you would NEVER be able to tell that parts were done before the feature was even written. Amazing. I'm so impressed. And very clever. Ooo I loved it!

Plus.. this is like... the cutest kid in the world (Sean Biggerstaff). Like... seriously seriously. He played Oliver Wood in Harry Potter and I remember when people were first fussing over Robert Pattinson and they were saying he played Cedric Diggory and how attractive he was, I agreed because I got confused and thought they meant this guy (I find Robert Pattinson... well I don't want to be rude about him or anything...  but he doesn't particularly catch my eye. But maybe if he were very kind...). 

The second one is him in the movie. I don't necessarily want degrade the movie by making him the selling point... but if you look at that face and don't want to see the movie... I don't know what to say. 

Peace, Frustration, and Movies

Several things. 

1. As I have mentioned many times, I LOVE late night TV. I've taken to the habit of looking on CBS.com and NBC.com for interviews when I know someone great has a movie coming out. That's how I knew about John Krasinski... because I specifically stalked Conan, Fallon, Letterman, and Ferguson for him. So naturally I've been regularly searching for Michael Cera. And here's the deal. He was on Letterman (which is my favorite amongst the four for interviews) on June 19th. BUUUUT CBS doesn't put the interviews up right away. We're only up to the 16th as of... 5 minutes ago. I shall be ungrateful and announce that it is torture. Thank GOODNESS NBC doesn't do that. I don't know what I would have done if I had to wait a week to watch The Office when I missed it. 

(I'm not REALLY angry obviously. I'm absolutely grateful that I CAN watch shows online. Or that we even HAVE internet. Or that they even DO the shows. For real for real.)

2. I pretty much have peace with what I'm doing. I think the driving thing made it WAY better. Or maybe just that I told my grandpa, which seems weird, even to me. 

3. I NEED to clean the bathtub. I made an attempt with an entire bottle of drain unclogger which was actually IN the apartment. But it also LITERALLY did nothing. Since I'm on such an incredibly tight budget, I REALLY don't want to spend $12 on Draino when the other one didn't work. Nevertheless, I believe I am going to be facing quite a bit of company and ... I'll just die with the tub in the condition it's in right now. 

4. The other day I decided to make rosemary chicken and then put it all in tupperware and then eat it as meals. My primary concern for this plan was that I would end up eating it too quickly. Buuuut that didn't happen. Instead, my error was that I UNDERCOOKED IT! I put that in caps because this is the ONLY MEAL I can make and I can't even get it. And I've been cooking it regularly for over a year!  And I REGULARLY burn it too. And I won't quickly forget the vinegar fiasco. Maybe I just honestly can't cook. I don't know how this is possible because cooking is seemingly all directions. Here are the things that infuriate me about cooking: 

a. Tools required. I need a specific pan for baking chicken. I need a huge pot for soups. I need big bowls to make cookies. So many things!! And those are for simple things. Most of the recipes in my recipe book require pots and pans that I do not have. 

b. Ingredients. The problem is things like "1 teaspoon of paprika" and then paprika is like... $6 for a tiny bit of it. Or like... 1/2 cup of half and half, which is even worse because it spoils quickly and ... I would never use half and half in any other circumstances. I want to just cut them out because... the paprika seems so insignificant... how could I taste 1 teaspoon of anything? And why half and half? Couldn't I just use whole milk? And that's why my things taste weird. 

c. You have to WATCH the food. I stayed in the kitchen with the rosemary chicken the entire time, which I directly blame for the fact that it's underdone. It LOOKS gorgeous though. But the last time I DIDN'T watch the food, I completely burnt it. I think I prefer it burnt, but it makes the pans really hard to clean, and I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to eat burnt things because burning things makes them chemically different and thus potentially harmful. 

I guess my husband will just have to eat sandwiches when I cook. And I'll invite my mom over for Thanksgiving and we can make the turkey "together."

ANYWAY

5. Yesterday morning, after neither washing nor brushing my hair in two days, I bought an ivy plant and a coke at 6am at the grocery store. I WOULD think that the guy at the register thought I was strange or wondered what I was doing... but that's pretty presumptuous. Cashiers, in my experience, do not care at all what you buy and when because they don't notice. A good cashier at a grocery store finds a place in their own mind and stays there. The only thing I ever even noticed was when people bought 70 bottles of salad dressing. Although one guy bought like... 20 frozen dinners and felt inclined to tell me that they weren't for him. 

5 pt. 2. I've been wanting to get a companion for my jade plant for a while because it just SEEMS like it would be healthier... although that's probably me anthropomorphizing my plant. BUUUT I couldn't get one that blooms because I feel like it would take away from the jade. But I think the ivy is complimentary... like the odd couple but no one is bigger and brighter. And, in retrospect, I'm also glad I got the ivy because I really like them both as names. Jade and Ivy. 

Now some movies/shows: 

Watched more of The Tudors and I DEFINITELY think the problem is that I know what's going to happen. It really does kind of ruin the suspense. In the last episode I watched, the sweating plague was upon them... but I KNEW Henry would live... and Anne and even Katherine of Aragon... so I wasn't that worried even though they spent a lot of time making HIM worried. Also they have a story line with a gay minstrel guy... but I have no idea what he has to do with the Henry story except that he's THERE. But like... he never interacts with Henry. And he isn't even a noble or anything. He has a little affair with one of Henry's closer men... but like the guy isn't even THAT close with Henry AND he just died. I'm pretty sure they were just trying to get the gay demographic. 

I also STARTED to watch the first episode of Californication. My grandpa doesn't really like it but he doesn't know why. I THOUGHT I really liked David Duchovny. I really like his face. But one time I bought a movie with him and Minnie Driver for like... $3 called Return to Me and I REALLY disliked it, so much that I gave it away or sold it or something because I couldn't have it ruining the integrity of my collection. So I watched the beginning of the show (you can watch it instantly on netflix) and in the first 5 minutes I was like... "wait a minute. Maybe I hate David Duchovny." Now, I was tired so I decided to sleep instead of pressing on, so that isn't a fair assessment. But he seems like an incredibly poor actor. And even though I am very comforted by his face sometimes, I don't think I've ever enjoyed him onscreen. In fact, the only time I even remember liking his face was when I remember him distinctly on the cover of a magazine with his wife (whom he has since cheated on in life... because of his sex-addiction... ... ) about 5 or 6 years ago and I remember thinking how ... I don't know exactly. But they were comforting. After writing this, I kind of dislike him even more. I don't know why that one picture affected me so greatly. 

I also watched a movie called The Governess with Tom Wilkinson, Minnie Driver, and a quite young Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. I basically have no opinion because I chose it quickly because I wanted something to paint to... which means something that I wouldn't be upset that I didn't watch carefully. It was incredibly standard about a jewish girl who pretends to be gentile to make money as a governess to feed her family after her father dies. Then she has an affair with the dad, who is just inventing photography. And the son falls in love with her. But nothing really dramatic happens. No one finds out, really. When he learns she's jewish he... neither cares nor is accepting. Like... he doesn't make a scene about it. And (I'm going to spoil it because no one will ever watch it) in the end she steals his lenses that he's been working on and shows the wife of him sleeping naked... and she makes a photography business back at home... and he finds her and he isn't even upset and they don't even get back together... and there is no begging.  You do get to see a little of Jonathan Rhys Meyer's penis... and a lot of Tom Wilkinson. So I guess I do have an opinion. Not good. I need more drama in my dramas. 

I watched Water Lilies which I found to be VERY good. It's a french film and it's about a lesbian who's like... 15. It was very good. I don't want to say anything else about it. 

Vicky Christina Barcelona. First of all, it's kind of the best name ever. Also, I didn't know it was a Woody Allen movie until the beginning... like I didn't know that is what I was getting into and when his name popped up during the opening music I was like "ooh wait...". I definitely like Woody Allen movies, but... you kind of have to put on your Woody Allen cap to watch one. For instance, his characters talk a LOT, which I KNOW is to get a feeling of reality, and that works. And his endings always seem to be disconcerting. Like... you could tell a Woody Allen ending from... whatever else. That being said, I enjoyed the movie. And Penelope Cruz WAS fantastic and she deserved that oscar. And Scarlett Johansson was fine. She didn't annoy me in this film... even though she WAS the same. 

I watched Run Lola Run, which was trippy as hell!! And it gives you a lot of anxiety. I was jumpy watching the whole thing. A LOT of it is just Lola running and I kept saying out loud "RUN!!" So I guess it's the most appropriate title ever. But also it was super fast paced and fast cuts and like... fast circling around things and it was basically ALL to techno music except at super dramatic parts. Very cool. ALTHOUGH my disk was messed up for like... the VEEEERRRRY end so .. I was PIISSSEEED, although not at netflix because this has never happened before in the ... 7ish months that I've had it... AND they don't even wait until the damaged one gets to them before they send you a new one. That's more than fair. So, in summation, I was pissed because I really wanted to see the ending, but it was aimed at no one. But anyway,  I tried to look it up online, but I could only get it from some sort of Asian site and it had only Asian subtitles... and it's a German movie. So, netflix is going to send me a new copy. Nevertheless, even though I missed literally the last 1-2 minutes, I can say with conviction that it was good. I don't think the last minute could ruin it. 

I also watched Skipped Parts which I rented because Bug Hall, Alfalfa in The Little Rascals, was in it and it was rated R "for sexual situations, some involving young teens." It was basically like a story someone would write in screenwriting. Like... you have something that you really want to happen (little girl, Mischa Barton, getting pregnant in an interesting way) but... then you just half-ass the story around it. Like... technically it's narrated by Bug, who is going to be a writer, but... that's such a lame way to make a story. Nothing really WITHIN the story convinced me that his being a writer was important EXCEPT that that was the only way they could make the story happen. And the little girl hated Bug until he comforted her when JFK died... which is such a cop-out, I think. It's just like... assholes hated JFK and good-guys like him... so if you stick his death in there, it's an easy way to make the audience hate some people and love the others. Lame. Also Mischa Barton is a terrible actress... and so is Bug Hall kind of... I was not convinced by either of them...but they were children and most children can only do so much. But it was cute when they held hands or slept together in their little PJs. Also I just remembered that Drew Barrymore is kind of in it in the kid's fantasies. I think if it wasn't Bug Hall, I'd be more convinced. He's cute as HELL though. And I mean that in the little kid way.

Lastly, I watched The Basketball Diaries, which was THE most standard plot line about kids on drugs ever. Mostly it just seemed like the person who wrote it didn't actually live it... although it was a true story about a guy who wrote books and poetry and did a one man show about it... and maybe he just had the most standard experience possible. That being said, I couldn't help but enjoy a quite young Leo DiCaprio and Mark Wahlberg and some guys I didn't know playing basketball, causing trouble in NYC, doing drugs, and ... not too much sex... but some. I have to enjoy that. The movie just wasn't that stimulating... in my mind at least. 

Wow... that was more movies than I feel like I watched. 

ALSO, ELENA IS COMING LIKE... TOMORROW I THINK!!

AND I've been playing a LOOOOT of the Sims. I've made an incredibly successful family... at the expense of my own personal shame. It's Isaac and Zelda (I didn't name Zelda) and their sons Alastor and Silas. And the other family I made is a mother named Ava and her adopted son that I named August. 

I don't care. I don't CARE about the shame.  

My Newest Painting

This is residual from my Away We Go ... interest. I'm pretty sure it's done. Also, even though it's a lot of white space, it took forever because it's the biggest painting I've ever done. 16x21 inches maybe?

The Proposal?

"The opening day gross for Disney's romantic comedy "The Proposal" marks the best ever for a Sandra Bullock film. And it's the best for a romantic comedy opening in the June-August stretch since Julia Roberts-Richard Gere starrer "Runaway Bride" in 1999."

Really?!

Grandpa to the Rescue

I had a few lost days. Days that I cannot justify or explain. Days I basically didn't live at all, culminating in yesterday where I slept until (oh God, I don't even want to say...) 5pm. MISSING a lunch thing that I kind of thought was an early dinner, but regardless, made me look like an irresponsible fool. 

My grandpa called me a few days ago to chat. I cannot call him back because I have nothing good to say for myself. But now it's been three days and I feel like I have to do something REALLY GREAT

OK!!!!

This part is being written 2 hours later. I apparently stopped my sentence in the middle and called my grandpa (apparently writing my excuses brought to light the foolishness... mid-sentence, no less). I called my grandpa and started my conversation by telling him that the reason I didn't call back for three days is because I'm ashamed of how I'm living and then I realized that time wasn't going to make it better so I just have to come out and say it. He laughed and told me that he loves me and that I can do no wrong. What's interesting about my relationship with my grandpa is that my mom HATES him. But I LOOOVE him. I think it kind of sucks for my mom, because I talk about him doing something great (I try to avoid it) and I'm sure she gets upset. Also she told me that one time he called her "honey" and she knows it's because he accidently addressed her as though he was talking to me. AND I talk to him more than I talk to my mom. And for much longer than when my mom and I DO talk. Awkward. Especially because technically he stopped talking to my mom when she refused to abort me. Although I think the silence only lasted a few months. Still...

To be clear, this is her father. 

And I must mention that if MY child mysteriously loves Ernie, I will likely be SUPER pissed! CRAZY FUCKING PISSED! Although... I don't think I have to worry about that at all.

So I talked to my grandpa and he GLORIOUSLY offered to take me up to Utica and spend like... 10 days or whatever rigorously teaching me how to drive!!!! YES!!! So tentatively I'm leaving July 8 for a little while. 

AAAALSO, I told my grandpa about my obsession with Weeds and he told me that HEEEE had an obsession with Weeds around Thanksgiving and he watched all the episodes in a few days with my grandma. AAAAND he also finds it torture that now we can only watch a half hour per week. My grandpa and I are soul mates. Then we talked about Away We Go, Robert Downey Jr., Charlie Chaplin, my Fallon trip to NYC, Ken (32 IS too old... did I ever mention that my mom did NOT think 32 was a problem? Even though that's 11 years older than me and only 8 years younger than her?), Hugh Laurie, America Ferrara, whether or not Californication has any merit, The Tudors and Jonathan Rhys Meyes, Rachel McAdams, netflix vs. on demand, and whether or not Sherlock Holmes will be too much action or if it will have a good amount of intellect too. SEE WHY MY GRANDPA AND I ARE SOULMATES?! Or maybe I just relate to retired 67 year old men. Or maybe we just both watch a LOT of TV. 

ANYWAY! In other news, I printed out 70 pictures for my scrapbook and it only cost me $13!! Remember when you had to BUY a disposable camera and usually they were $15 but SOMETIMES I could get them for $9.99? And I always had to get 2 cameras for every dance and party and everything... just in case it was SUPER eventful. And I got them ALL THE TIME and had a system in which I never wound the camera AFTER a picture because I wouldn't want the camera to go off in my bag and have to pay for a black picture... but sometimes we would have group shots and 2 people would take the same goddamn picture with 15 different cameras and then we would all have a copy of the same picture AND the people taking the picture would wind the camera? And then I'd have to pay another $10 or $15? (I don't even remember... a lot because I couldn't always do it right away) to develop the camera, and I would ALWAYS get doubles in case I wanted to use a copy to put into my quote book or god forbid I spilled water or something on a picture. And then only like... 13/24 pictures would even be any good. And you NEEDED a flash because a non-flash picture would NEVER come out well. 

Yeah... I remember that. And I have a HUUUUUUGE box of shitty pictures. 

Look at how far we've come. No more forever group shots... you take the picture once, tag everyone in it, done. Delete the shitty pictures you took. Never have to develop them. Glor-i-ous!

In not-so great technology news, my itunes will not show up on my computer and I don't know why. I will probably panic in a few days. 

Also, today I bought latex gloves for the dishes. Do you know how much more glorious washing dishes is if you have gloves? Infinitely more glorious!! No touching disgusting things. No prune-y and smelly hands. No skin dryness after your done. Your hands are as good as they were before the task. Excellent. 

I haven't watched as many movies recently. Mostly because I watched 52 episodes of Weeds in 2 days. That's almost 26 hours. AAAMAZING!!

Then I watched a movie called YPF (Young People Fucking) which was recommended by Elena. Pretty good. I don't have too much to say about it. It's 5 separate couples in different situations (exes, friends, first date, roommates (except really the roommate with the guy's girlfriend while the guy watches...), and the couple) having sex and it all takes place over one night. And the people are not that diverse... they probably all live in the same area. And the girls are mostly dominant.. really new-age-y guys. ANYWAY ANYWAY, right after giving Elena my feedback, I decided to start watching The Tudors and one of the guys from YPF was in the show. Not a main person, but.. well actually it wasn't all that special. 

Anyway, I only watched 2 episodes of The Tudors because... they're 55 minutes long and... it was like.. 5:30am. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is unbelievably attractive. I even surprisingly like his voice, which always throws me off because it's almost effeminate... and I usually don't love that... but I like his. Plus he has a LOT of sex in the show. I can't say for certain whether I will be obsessed... although I have to guess that I won't be unless it's out of pure boredom, because I usually know pretty instantly. I think the situation might be that I already know what's going to happen... particularly since I JUST watched The Other Boleyn Girl... but I WOOOULD like to see Jonathan get hot and bothered over Anne Boleyn. Maybe I will be obsessed, now that I think of it. I was probably just tired. 

Although actually, I still haven't slept yet since 5pm yesterday (it's 1:52pm now) and I'm still going. When you (I) have nothing to do and your (my) sleep gets all distorted, there are several times of the day when you (I) need to make some decisions. 

3-5pm- Am I going to leave my place or put off my things until the next day? 

2:30am- Am I going to try to sleep the night or am I going to keep going?

5:30am- Am I going to stay awake and do my things in the morning or am I going to sleep and TRY to be up by 11am, taking the chance that I might oversleep for half of the day?

1-2pm- Am I going to nap now and try to wake up at 5pm, taking the chance that I might oversleep until 10pm? 

Well THAT was honesty. 

Last thing, but I JUST talked to my mom and told her about how glorious Weeds was. She told me that she's been telling me all along that I should watch it. Ugh! I know this is senseless hating on my mom, but this is the reason I wouldn't be friends with my mom if she was my peer; she takes credit for everything. And I don't even BELIEVE her when she tells me these things... but even if they ARE true... even if she HAD been telling me I would love Weeds forever (which, even if she had, she also likes Medium and CSI-y stuff that I don't like), the conversation shouldn't shift to her being pissed that I didn't watch the show as soon as she gave her alleged recommendation. This shouldn't be an "I told you so" conversation.  A GOOD conversationalist would say "REALLY?!" and ask my why I liked the show and tell me why THEY like the show etc etc.  

And she does it all the time. If there is a great artist, she knew about and loved the artist before they were even big. When I like something, not just this show because this phenomenon happens regularly, she has allegedly told me that I would like said thing forever and I never listen. And the most annoying one, when I'm ill, she's had the same illness for weeks and now I know how she feels... bonus if she is also inflicted with something ELSE in addition to whatever pain she's getting from my meager illness. I told her about my itunes and she insists that she noticed HER itunes was fucked up YESTERDAY. Thankfully her and I have been to basically all of the same places because otherwise I know she'd do the annoying thing where like... they say things like "you've never TASTED bread until you've been to Philadelphia. I KNOW good bread."

Part 2 to the Weeds story is that I, in a joking way, told her that I simply don't trust her opinion and that I only trust netflix... and she got pissed! And then I told her I was kidding... but then I had to take that back because... I don't know why... probably because I like to intentionally piss her off as much as she unintentionally pisses me off.

We're not a great team. 

What you CAN take from the story is that all three generations, despite some verbal communication issues, all really love TV and movies. 

Plus I told her about grandpa teaching me how to drive, pretending that I was disappointed and that Utica is the last place I want to be. She did the sarcastic "good luck." Also, the time that I'm potentially going to Utica is when the Wolber Open is happening... yes my family has a reunion called the Wolber Open. I've been one time and it's not fun because I never really knew any of the relatives since I lived in the west for most of my growing years. My mother has gone every year for like... 5 years maybe? And I went on her second time only. When I discussed it with my grandpa, he was like "I don't think your mother has been there since you were there." How terrible is their relationship that he doesn't even remember seeing his daughter at the family reunion?

Also, last thing about my mom, but instead of filling out a financial form by herself, she insisted that we do it on the phone, which we did with a previous form. But it's terrible because I'll be reading a question out loud and she'll get super aggravated and be like "NO NO NO we OBVIOUSLY don't receive any aid from the military" and I'll be like "I'M READING IT! DO YOU WANT ME TO READ IT TO MYSELF FIRST, CENSOR THE SHIT YOU NEED TO HEAR?!" Damnit! It's so annoying!!

I do love my mom. I know everyone has these grievances. And she is NOT the reason I hate going home. 

Health Reform

Today I decided to check and see how my funds are working out, a task I've been dreading a bit because I don't want to know if I'm over spending. Well I'm NOT!! I'm on a role. SOOOO I decided to donate $10 to Obama for health reform. I REEEALLY think it's a good idea. 

Make it happen. 

Sherlock Holmes

Check out the trailer for Sherlock Holmes! O God, I will be swooning in my pants for SURE!

Just Guess

Saw Away We Go again. Glorious. I think I liked it better than the first time. And also, the thing I said about Krasinski falling out of character when he's not the quirkiest in the room... well... MAYBE it wasn't a mistake. MAYBE it was to show that Burt's very loose and light-hearted around Verona, who he loves, but when he's with crazy people, you can see that he is quite grounded. I'm going to assume that that's what it is. Also, and I don't think this gives anything away at all, but it's just nice that they don't make the story about the two characters being together at all. You know that they are in love, and not in the lusty, temporary way, but they make it clear that ... at no point should you even question them... because that's not what the story is about. It's really just two halves of a main character and that's so nice because all these other movies make it seem like if there is any drama at all, it's going to at least involve the person you love or don't love or something. I feel like people aren't usually in it together in movies. But this is about their lives together... no drama with their relationship. And they both love that baby. No drama there either. No one is panicked in a like... abandoning type of way. That's REALLY special. And...

DON'T LOOK RIGHT BELOW HERE BECAUSE THIS IS A SPOILER!!!

It's really beautiful that they didn't even make them get married at the end... and they didn't even need to SHOW having the baby at the end because that wasn't what the movie was about. Perfect ending. 

Sorry but all I have to discuss today are more movies... mostly because I don't do anything else. Although I did buy a scrapbook online and tonight I will HOPEFULLY start a new painting. Although I think I only have a HUUUUGE canvas, so we'll see. Also, Cayla's cupcake and champagne cocktail 21st birthday party is tomorrow, which I was aware of and excited about, but then I remembered that we have to wear a dress. And now I have anxiety as I only have 7 shirts and certainly no dresses. In fact, the shirts in question are not even clean. And I'm wearing boxers. 

Blythe's conscience: Blythe, why, if you do nothing all day, have you still not done your laundry?

Blythe: ummm... I....

Blythe's conscience: Are you even going to TRY to get a job anymore?

Blythe: Well... I mean...

Blythe's conscience: It's almost the middle of June.

Blythe turns on itunes.

(Loosely based on several real conversations that I've had, ALOUD, with myself.)

Weeds: I know I already endorsed it, but AMAZING. Although, now I wonder whether shows like Grey's Anatomy ARE actually great and I just never watched them. Although I KNOW that I don't like Ugly Betty. Regardless, netflix allowed me to watch season 1 and 2 online, but I have to GET season 3 and 4. But I CAN watch season 5 as it comes on. Tricky tricky. I can't decide if it's nice because at least I get to watch season 1 and 2 while I'm waiting for season 3 (although I've obviously finished 1 and 2 and disk ONE is still not here for season 3... so mission failed... but still...) or if it's mean because they got me hooked and now I HAVE to get season 3 and 4. It seems more logical to be the latter, but I'm going to believe it's the former because netflix is a little bit my most loyal and favorite companion. 

The other day at 4am I was on netflix, browsing Robert Downey Jr. movies because netflix knows that I love him (they also regularly give me a list of Diane Keaton movies... because they KNOW), and I saw that the ratings were gone from the sides of the movies. I PANICKED! for like... a good 3 minutes before I realized that they were probably updating their site, because they definitely wouldn't take away the rating system. So I just picked a random Robert Downey Jr. movie and started watching it (Johnny Be Good)... but it was so terrible that I couldn't get past 10 minutes, so I went back to the site... and low, the ratings were back and they told me I would hate it. And that's why I'm addicted! I need to know what netflix thinks a la how Hugh Grant feels about Sandra Bullock in Two Weeks Notice. "I was capable of making all kinds of decisions until you showed up. Now I can't. I need to know what you think!" (I tried to find the exact quote for like... 15 minutes. But it turns out, it's difficult to find a largely unmemorable quote from a largely unmemorable movie. I even tried to find the my copy to watch the part, but I loaned it to Caroline. AND I tried to look online for a free version but no such luck. Damn. The paraphrasing must suffice. (THIS IS WHAT I DO ALL DAY!!))

AAAANYWAY!!!

I watched Groundhog Day for perhaps the ... 3rd time? I LOVE that movie and honestly believe it could be defended to the death... and NOT because I'm nostalgic for early 90s movies. I just love when movies cover all the things that someone would realistically do in that situation. That's partly why The Time Traveler's Wife is so good. Because he TELLS people! That's what I would do. And he goes to the doctor. Great! In Groundhog day, he's kind of a pissed off guy to begin with... and then he doesn't get it at first. And then he gets SUPER pissed! Then he seduces some girl by knowing everything about her... but that's only so good. THEN he tries to get Andie MacDowell the same way as the other person, which works a bit, but not enough and she gets pissed... but he doesn't just try once, nay, he REALLY tries. Then he tries to kill himself. A LOT. Then he thinks he's God. Then he tells Andie. Then he goes to the doctor. Then he realizes he loves Andie but he's straight up not good enough for her because she's great and he's a shithead. Then he tries to better himself. And THEN, in a kind of realistic-ISH way, she comes to him just because he's great. And it takes place over like... a year or something I think.  I just like that they cover the bases (sorry I just summarized the movie...). And then end kind of tells you that the universe had a plan for him.... which I can suspend my belief for. Although I do still enjoy movies that don't make as much sense. For instance, Big is a little stupid. But it's still possibly my favorite Tom Hanks movie... and I love MOST of his movies. 

Ok ok. Also I watched The Other Boleyn Girl, which I wasn't THAT interested in, but I got caught up watching interviews with Natalie Portman, who really is terrific. I would like a movie with her and Rachel McAdams, who I do think could be almost as great as Natalie. ANYWAY, I needed to watch the movie by default. Really, it wasn't NEARLY as poor as I had been lead to believe. I don't know what people wanted. In fact, it was one of the most understandable movies I've ever seen from that age. I had to watch Elizabeth like.. 3 times before I really understood what was going on. And Elizabeth is not more factually correct either... I wikipedia-ed it. Although I enjoyed Elizabeth more... maybe because Scarlett Johansson is starting to get on my nerves. LIKELY it was also because I had no interest in Eric Bana (not that he did a bad job... he did what he was supposed to, but that doesn't make me like him (hope he's better in The Time Traveler's Wife)) but Joseph Fiennes in Elizabeth is HOT! Like... REALLY hot! Ugh, I'm sad I threw away my copy of that movie because it was a vhs/ I just need to replace it. Mmmm. Regardless, The Other Boleyn Girl was just fine to me. Although if you want to watch a Natalie movie, I would first recommend Where the Heart Is, V for Vendetta, Closer, and Garden State. 

THEN I requested netflix to get me a more smutty romantic movie to watch instantly. And netflix delivered me with a lovely cornucopia of movies to choose from, noting that I would probably like Dangerous Beauty the most. Done. I trust you netflix.

Watched it. It was OK. I don't know why netflix thought I would like it more than I did. VEEERY pro-prostitute... but it took place in 1500s Venice when they were called courtesans and were more educated than the proper ladies. The thing that pissed me off was that AT THE END (SPOILER AAAGAIN-- but who's really going to watch it anyway?) she's on trial for being a witch that seduced the men and she could either confess and repent or she was going to be killed. But she REFUSED to confess. Like honestly, why the fuck not? She was like "I don't want to deny my life" but really? I would confess in a fucking heartbeat. It's not like prostitution is the most honest profession to begin with anyway. Sooo it was very hard for me to feel emotion at the end when I just thought she was just being an idiot. I don't even understand when people refuse to deny their religion, because I always imagine that God would forgive you for saving your own life and worshipping in secret... but at least I KIIIIND of understand that. Sometimes it's very touching and I just think they are being beautiful people. But honestly, refusing to confess to being a witch, refusing to deny that prostitution is bad? For your LIFE? I can't feel for that. 

AAAAAALSO I watched This is Spinal Tap, which I enjoyed, but kind of the way I enjoy Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Extremely funny, I'm very glad I saw it, but ultimately more fun to remember than to actually watch. Also, good reminder that Christopher Guest is INCREDIBLY versatile. I think he's quite old now, but wouldn't you like to see Hank Azaria, Toni Colette, ... maybe Tracy Ullman... and him? Some people are CRAZY good character actors. Maybe Joan Cusack. 

And that is all until tomorrow when I announce I've watched 100 MORE movies. Not a bad life. But I do feel a lot of guilt... which I mask by entering the world of yet another movie. 

(I, a little bit, feel like those anorexic people who unconsciously always talk about food. I keep word-vomiting about my joblessness because it's all that I think about. And I know that I just need to fix it up and move on... and I can feel myself getting just... more and more annoying by bringing it up. I would love to say that I won't talk about it as much anymore, but as this is my blog, and it's what I think about... all I can promise is that I am AWARE that I'm doing it... and I DOOOO want to make it better... but clearly not enough... ugh)

Also, last minute mention, but I haven't been wearing eyeliner even NEARLY as much as I have in the past. I'm not sure how it started, but my theory is that my new-ish eyeliner (month old?) is VERY light and it kind of seems gone after an hour anyway. The miracle is that I didn't feel like I needed to buy a new one. 

Buuuut it's super nice not wearing it as much because my eyes tear up all the time (laughing, crying (every movie I watch alone, happy OR sad), allergies...). When that happened a) I would have to be careful about rubbing my eyes and b) it would get into my eyes and sting. So... great news. 

Brother's Newest Masterpiece

My brother's new video. 

It's clear to me that when he's older he'll remember this as his most embarrassing video. Either that, or he will grow up to be a gay man and will site this video as the time when we should have figured it out. 

The Sibs

Then

Now

Weeds

I just need to heavily endorse Weeds. That show is AMAZING! I kind of remember being seeing it about two years ago and I don't remember what I thought about it... but now I see that it is GREAT! I've only watched the first 9 episodes, but it's really funny AND it moves really well through the plot.  And the acting is pretty genius. I'm SO PUMPED!

(The reason I watched the show is because netflix was positive I would love it. They usually rate things at about a 3.5 or 4 for me... but this was almost 5 whole stars. And they were RIGHT! They also predicted that I'd love The Daily Show: Indecision 2004 nearly 5 whole stars worth, even though I'd never rated any other Daily Show thing or any Colbert thing. Genius. And a little scary.)

Bird? Plane? Nope. It's My Parents!

This morning, at exactly 5am, my mother and I were talking on facebook chat. 

And she told me she's going skydiving. 

!!!

How awesome is that?! A few weeks ago I declared to myself (and I'm pretty sure to one other person, although I don't remember who) that I want to someday hold a tarantula because one time I had the opportunity and I couldn't do it because I was too scared. So I declared that I would make that happen sometime before I die.

But skydiving... I don't think I would ever be ready for that. We'll see what my mom says afterwards. Regardless, I'm SUPER impressed. 

My dad, on my birthday, told me that he took an airplane flying lesson and has decided he's going to learn to fly. Something is making all of my parents airborne!

Also, though, over winter break my dad told me that he was flirting with the idea of doing a new thing where he sleeps for 20 minutes every 4 hours. He told me that he felt like he spent every day at work and then came home and was too exhausted to do anything else... and he wanted to be able to work on his music and read and... do his dancing and whatever else. So when I asked him about it, he said that instead he just went up to his work and told them that they keep giving him more money but what he'd really like is just more time off. They told him they'd think about it and eventually they agreed. So my dad has decided to see if this will work before he alters his sleeping style. 

I'm so impressed with my dad... that he doesn't care about money, he just wants enough to live and he wants the rest of the time to do what he wants. And not laying about. Nay. He's going to dance and learn to fly and write music and... do whatever he wants. I want to be like my dad so much!

Opportunity Seized. YYYESS!!

MIRACULOUS 24 hours!

Monday night was the usual. I watched Welcome to the Dollhouse which was fucked up and great a la Igby Goes Down or Imaginary Heros (but the protagonist is a 12-year-old girl). I also watched Slackers, which I enjoyed a LOT for the first... 20 minutes... and then my enjoyment of the movie pretty much rested in my enjoyment of looking at Devon Sawa (which produces a quantity of enjoyment that should not be underestimated!), who, by the way, has ZERO interviews on youtube. Then at 6am I started watching Now and Then, but stopped 2/3 of the way through because I was exhausted. I went to bed around 7am. 

Around noon I woke up, baked some chicken!!!, and watched the end of Now and Then, which, is actually all tears. The whole last 3rd is just emotion after emotion. I had to reapply my eyeliner like... a hundred times because I kept forgetting that another moment was coming up. 

Around 2pm-ish, Pat came over. We ate some chicken. Then I went and got a key made for him and deposited some checks. I was worried because the key said "do not duplicate" on the front... but of course it wasn't a problem at all. The kid who made the key actually recognized me from when I sang in his Beatles class. In fact, the NEW key says "do not duplicate" on it. I just think it's a waste of etching to put something on every key that no one follows. And actually, it seems a little presumptuous to assume I don't want to duplicate my new key. It is mine (except actually Pat's). That said, I'm glad I didn't get trouble. 

So I went back home, gave Pat the key, and went to Cayla's to have some dinner with her roommate and Devon before the concert. 

The concert was awesome! It was right on the water and it was overcast-y and smelled like fish and it was in like... a huge tent (kind of) outside. I felt like I was at the shore. And the Decemberists were GREAT!! Their new album, which is the only one I have, is like... a big story so they performed their entire album straight-- plus it's kind of a folksy story and one of the girls was dressed like a princess kind of. Very enthusiastic performers. After they did their newest album, they had an intermission and I decided to go because Amanda was starting to ask me all these questions about the bus and the times and stuff and I got nervous. But I'm REALLY glad I saw the first part!

Unfortunately I had to go all the way back home because, due to some lack of communication, I left my keys outside (hidden) for Amanda, only to learn that she spent the time with Rachael and Rafi so I had to go back and get the keys. Whatever, I also wanted to get the leftover chicken and some nectarines so I wouldn't have to spend my money on food in New York. Although I didn't end up taking the chicken because Amanda told me she would treat me to my meals because I'm poor. But... really I probably should have known that I would never let someone buy my meals for me unless I was about to die ... so I DID end up spending a lot of money on food. But we'll get to that. 

So we get on the bus at 1am, scheduled to arrive at 5:20am. The website for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon said that you should get to NBC (30 Rock) by 9am at the latest. Amanda was extremely concerned about us being exhausted. In fact, it was kind of amazing that she even chose to come at all given the level of her concern. I wasn't that worried. Not only can one do a LOT of things on little sleep, but I could argue that it's even MORE fun sometimes because you get giddy. Although, neither of us really slept more than an hour on the bus and I spent a lot of time reflecting on how I used to not only sleep on buses all the time, but that I had trouble staying awake. But this time, I couldn't get my feet right and my head was in the way. Ridiculous. Although, Amanda wears an eye mask when she's asleep or trying to sleep, and the people around me were at least closing their eyes, so I spent an hour enthusiastically mouthing the words to the entire soundtrack of The Last Five Years, a practice I used to do all the time when I was younger and pretending to sleep while actually waiting for my parents to go to bed so that I could ... do my thang at night. It was quite fun. Although I had to keep my eyes closed the entire time because I was worried that someone would open their eyes and I would make eye contact while looking like a fool. At least if my eyes are closed, I don't have to know if people see me being socially inappropriate.

The bus got there early and we arrived a little before 5am instead of 5:20am. Amanda was pissed and a little cranky (which I totally understand), but I was PUUUUMPED! Plus I couldn't stop singing little tunes about New York. Eventually Amanda came around. 

Anyway, previously (before we left my apartment) we discussed how she wanted to sit in a diner until 7:30am and THEN get in line. I told her that she was free to do that, but that I was getting in line right away because I don't care if I look like a fool, but if I spend $40 on my trip, and I don't get tickets because I was chilling in a diner, I'm gonna be pissed. Yes. I'm bossy. I was worried that I was going to cave when we got there, in the name of happiness for all, but luckily for me, Amanda allowed us to go straight to NBC. I got an some sort of breakfast thing at McDonalds first though. I don't think I've ever had a breakfast thing from McDonalds before. 

It took a while to figure out where the line was going to be. Many of the people at NBC weren't really sure what we should do, which I found really odd. Jimmy Fallon is pretty new... but he's been doing this for like... over a month for sure, AND they used to do it with Conan... so I wasn't sure what the problem was. But at a little before 6am we finally got in line. AAAND couple got in line right behind us. I gave Amanda an "I told you so" look and she agreed that it was good that we came 3 hours early. 

Actually though, no one else got in the line until 8am. The four of us stood there for two hours alone inside barricades that they put up for us. It wasn't that bad though. Amanda and I made some madlibs for a while. We talked to the people behind us and Amanda recommended some places for them to eat later. We also discussed what movies you could watch at a general genital-themed party: 

-Teeth

-Vagina Monologues

-Blue Lagoon

-Superbad

-Hard Candy (although a little too dark)

There were others that I didn't like as much. 

Whatever. By 8am, other people started to come until there were about 30 people in line. Then the guy came out and gave us standby tickets. Amanda and I got number 1 and 2 and I felt pleased because even if we didn't get in, it wasn't for a lack of effort. They told us to come back and see if we got in at 3:45pm. 

We decided to go to the Met, which was obviously amazing. We mostly looked at Egyptian art, which Amanda loves, and 19th and early 20th century European paintings, which I love... Although we both enjoyed the whole thing. Maybe tomorrow I'll go to the MFA! 

But anyway! We stayed for maybe 2 hours but left because we were going to have a sit-down lunch at this Cuban restaurant that we both like. But instead, we ended up just having a hot dog right outside the museum. And then Amanda took me to get some pizza because I told her she was a pizza snob about New York pizza. Although it's a little unfair because I honestly can't tell good pizza from bad pizza. I don't know what people mean when they say they don't like Dominos but they love Papa Johns. Or if they say there is no pizza but New York pizza. My stepdad used to say that the best pizza in the world is at a place called Salernos... and I believe that was in either Scranton, PA or Memphis, TN. I've tried all of these things and all I know is that they are only a LITTLE bit different, and they all taste like pizza. I think people just like what they grew up with... or maybe that's extremely obvious and I'm being needlessly obnoxious about the whole ordeal. 

Anyway, we ended up having a lot of time to kill still because those meals were way shorter than our expected meal. Plus, I entered a HUUUUGE sleepy pocket and thought I was going to die a little bit. So I requested we go to the park and take a little snooze. Amanda didn't want to go on the grass so we sat on a bench next to a jillion people and you'd THINK that I couldn't fall asleep in that circumstance but I totally did. I put my arm on the back of the bench and rested my head on my arm and passed out, while Amanda just sat there staring ahead. I was in that position for like 15 minutes when I did that jolt thing that I (and everyone I assume) sometimes do when I feel like I'm falling. So I do the jolt, and then this lady on the other side of me (my back was toward her) calls to me... or something. She gets my attention but I don't remember exactly. 

So I turn over to her and she has a head scarf over her so she kind of looks like a nun. Definitely like... 60 years old. So she asks me if I need a few dollars for food. I was really confused and thought she was asking me for money... but nay. She was trying to GIVE me money because I think she thought I was homeless!!! I, of course, told her that I was fine and thanked her. AND THEN she told me that you can get a shower at the gym nearby. She told me that in some city a day gym pass is $10 but here it's $25 and she said if I go and tell them she sent me, that I could probably get in for $15!!!

Just so you know, I thought that she was extremely generous and, while I understood where she was coming from, I wasn't that embarrassed. From behind, I really did look like hell, my hair seeming to take on the first stages of dreadlocks because I had stood outside in a misty rain for 3 hours and I slept on that bus and I had no brush and at that point, it was getting warm and I was a little sweaty. AND I was asleep in a park and I don't think she knew Amanda was with me. 

Then, I ended up talking to her about Boston and how she wants to go and see the Church of Scientology (buh... but ok) and how she really likes to travel because then she doesn't have to worry about petty home things and how she really wanted to go to Alaska and about how I'm a television major and how there aren't many women in that field. Then Amanda touched me on the back and I remembered that I probably shouldn't sit and talk to this lady forever. So I told her that we had to go, thanked her for her generosity, and wished her luck on her travels. As we left, Amanda looked at me incredulously because my recent stranger activity has sky-rocketed but I SERIOUSLY am not starting these things! But I feel SUPER proud to be a friendly stranger so... I assume on some level I'm asking for it... although I haven't YET begun a conversation with someone I didn't know... Buuuuuut Amanda didn't actually hear most of our conversation and asked me what the lady was selling. I think she was surprised when I told her she was trying to GIVE me money... AND of course Amanda was amused that the lady thought I was homeless. 

Anyway, after that 15 minute snooze and the adrenaline I got from trying to convince the lady that I was fine, I was wide awake again. Plus it was almost time to go. We sat on a bench for like... 20 minutes and then we went into NBC. They checked us off and told us we should come back AGAIN at 4:15pm and make sure we used the bathroom. We went off in search of the bathroom, which I didn't even REALLY have to use, and it was soooo twisty of a place that I was certain we'd never find our way back. But of course we did. Although, Amanda tried to take a short cut until I gave her a look that I bet told her that I could not be responsible for my actions if we never made it back because we got lost taking the "shortcut." At this point, we still weren't even sure we were going to get in. When we got to the place we were supposed to be, there were about 40ish people waiting. Then they told us 1-30 should follow them... but we STILL weren't all guaranteed seats... although I felt INFINITELY more confident. Then they broke it down to 1-15 and we had to go through metal detectors etc. 

Then they asked 1-6 to come with them and asked us if we wanted to be part of the people who get to surround the musical guest when they do their thing, meaning we would likely be on TV. We agreed instantly and were SUPER pleased about being the first in line. But then, as we got into another line, Amanda and I started panicking because we didn't want to be where the musical guest was the entire time because then we wouldn't be able to see John Krasinski! We were SUPER nervous. I kept telling Amanda that it was in the past and it's useless thinking about it... that we should just see what happens first... but I was really just as distressed as she was. BUT THEN we DID get seats in front of the show, and they told us that they bring us over to the stage after the show when the guest comes on! So whoooo!!!

BASICALLY, it was SUPER fun!!! 

First of all, the regular band, the Roots, was AMAZING! AND crazy fun and enthusiastic!! When they performed for us to get us pumped, they were all smiling and dancing around and then the tuba player, the guitar player and the bass player (who was REALLY cute) ran up the stairs and then bounced back down them. Yes. Bounced. It was hilarious. I loved it. 

Also, there was a guy who was KIIIIND of a warm up comedian. He was really funny and interacted with the audience a lot... but he also served the purpose of telling us what we need to do... like not shout out and stuff. Stuff you could assume. 

Plus it was pretty educational about the late night shows that I watch so much. I assumed it would be. Now I want to see MORE to see what they do differently. For instance, Jimmy Fallon doesn't really interact with the audience off camera, but I'm almost positive that Craig Ferguson does... and I bet Jon Stewart and Colbert do too... I need to see!! Not that Jimmy doesn't say ANYTHING... but... very little.  

But I nearly died when John Krasinski came out... and he stayed on the stage the whole time, which was AWESOME!! And I liked being able to watch Jimmy and John watch the clips.. because I usually wonder when I'm watching the shows what faces they make when they watch the clips... or if they talk. If you want to know, they pretty much watched the clips, but OCCASIONALLY talked. Also, about a BILLION people come out on the stage during every break and Jimmy got more make up every time and John would talk to the people... which ... seemed sooooo awkward. Like... it would suck trying to have a conversation with someone, that you probably don't know at all, while like... 150 audience members gawk at you, wondering what you're saying. Also, the guy from True Blood was on the show and this guy who demonstrated a full body xbox thing. I mean... I obviously just starred at John the whole time. 

Then, when the musical guest came, they filed the people who who were going behind the band down to the stage and we passed right by John Krasinski! AND I had a FULL-BODY TREMBLE FROM IT... because I'm a star-struck little girl. Couldn't help it... I was SHAKING. Plus, I couldn't even look at him really because I was so embarrassed. Amanda told me later that she made eye contact with him. So jealous!!!!!

Anyway, we watched the band, which was very good. They actually played two songs, although only one will be aired. Amanda already watched the show and we're both on TV!! I want to watch it to see how they cut it... but also I'm pretty sure it'll be a little boring since... I already saw it. 

Anyway, right after the show (the taping ended at 6:55pm), I went to Port Authority and ended up getting 7:30pm bus, which was LUCKY because that was the last bus until midnight! I got the ticket at 7:20pm and had to run down to the gate and they were already boarding the last few people. But I made it. And I INSTANTLY passed out.. proving that I CAN sleep on the bus...

And actually, when I woke up like... an hour before we were going to arrive in Boston, I realized that either I smelled terrible or the guy next to me did.... and I tried to smell myself but it was difficult to be subtle about it. But I was feeling really bad if it was me. Although, after parting, I see that it was indeed him. So... I feel better. 

So... I had an AWWWWESOME 24 hours!! And I'm even more pleased that I saw and seized the opportunity. Made it happen! And now I can do that whenever I want (/whenever I can afford it). More incentive to make some moneys!!

But... awesome!