G-rent Visit

My grandparent's visit is over. I opened our meeting with the announcement that they can't come to my apartment. I WANTED to clean my room... but I just didn't want it hard enough.

We saw the Paul Giamatti movie WIN WIN, which I enjoyed. No need to elaborate. While we were waiting for the movie, we went to Barnes and Noble and I read the first 35ish pages of BOSSYPANTS. I think I could plow through that book in an afternoon.

We also went to the fashion district and grandma offered to make my bridesmaids dress for Amy's wedding. We didn't buy any fabric, but I feel good that we got the ball rolling on another project. We also got a GREAT hot dog on the street. They put caramelized onions and peppers and ketchup, mustard, and MAYONNAISE. I didn't know how important mayonnaise could be on a dog. Perfect.

On our way out of the down town LA area, my GPS stopped working entirely. I drove around almost aimlessly for 15 minutes while my grandparents told me a story about architecture or the travel plans of fellow senior citizens (wasn't listening) because what I hate more than being in a pickle, is other people's reactions to pickles. Which is why EVERY time I set something on fire, I try to take care of it on my own first.

After the 15 minutes, though, I had to reveal my ineptitude. Shockingly, they were EXTREMELY unconcerned. I said "I really have NO idea where I'm going" and they were like "that's okay. We don't mind driving around." They obviously didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

However, miracle of miracles, I FOUND MY WAY TO BURBANK. And then from Burbank, I FOUND MY WAY TO PASADENA. And from Pasadena, I found my way BACK TO BURBANK! I was EXTREMELY proud, although I'm pretty sure it was due to luck, primarily. I happened to have gone to and from Pasadena two or three times by the time I had to make it by myself. And to get out of the city, I just drove towards the hills and miraculously hit a street I know well (and I can only claim knowledge of... 15 streets max). Regardless, I don't need my GPS for day to day life. But my grandpa mentioned, with a level of concern that denotes an obvious overestimation of my directional capabilities, how unfortunate this is given my friends' arrival on Wednesday. BUMMER. My only relief is knowing that Elana is bringing her own GPS. Thank god.

Insert: My theory on the information age is NOT that we're stupider, but that we're less confident. My boss will spout out phone numbers and dates and names straight out of her mind. I will spout things too, but I always follow my information with "let me just triple check" as I quickly go online and confirm my information (this is NOT including phone numbers, which I never remember. If I lose my phone, I can call my house in PA, my boss's cell phone, or I can check the voicemail in the office. That's it). I'm pretty sure I'm always right, but because I can be SURE so quickly, I always double check my information.

During the course of their visit, my grandparents talked a LOT about how awesome and hilarious Meredith, my sister, is. Later in the night, I was racked with grief over the fact that I clearly don't know my sister at all and texted her as much (including the small, almost undetectable dig on my sister suggesting that any funniness or awesomeness must have developed really recently-- I'm proud of it, although my two test audiences didn't think it was funny. Whatever).

What resulted was the most intimate conversation we've ever had. It was a real break through and I'm so happy because, as I told my sister, we're the only ones who know what it was REALLY like growing up in our house. I wrote an imaginary email to my grandma JoAnne giving her the highlights.

SO PUMPED ABOUT MY VISITORS!!!!! GAAAAAAAAAHH!!

Preparations

Tomorrow is the beginning of my Joy-Until-June 1 period! Grandma and Grandpa are coming in tomorrow, spending the weekend with me, leaving on Monday. Then I have Tuesday off and then ALL MY FRIENDS ARE COMING WEDNESDAY!

In preparation I decided to do the following things:

1) fix my car

2) clean my car (outside optional)

3) clean my room

4) clean my bathroom

5) do laundry

What I've done:

1) Fix my car

...

That's it. Whoops.

Tonight I feel confident that I will clean the inside of my car and my bathroom. I had to make assurances this morning on the bathroom front. Before I left, I sprayed foamy cleaner everywhere! Which means I can't pee until at least the toilet is clean. I hope my roommate doesn't make a surprise visit into my room to find an entire sector of my space has rabies.

The inside of my car will get done out of embarrassment. At LEAST halfway done.

In my defense, if any of my visitors saw the condition of my broken car last week, they would know that my priorities were correct. Not that I couldn't have cleaned AND fixed my car in a weekend.... I'm not saying it's a defense I'd take to court...

I also feel adequately tan, so that's an accomplishment.

Also the rain stopped today, which is good because now I can spend my time bragging about instead of defending sunny sunny California.

Two Triumphs

The first and most important thing is that my best friend from Colorado, the one I grew up with, Amy, is getting MARRIED. The following texts is how she told me.

May 12 approx noon (my phone doesn't tell the correct time of texts. It likes to keep an air of mystery): U Should start looking at bridesmaid dresses.

: Think u'd be able to come out in october?

: The guys will be wearing zoot zuits.

I called her to get the details, and in true Amy style, she told me the following tale.

"Well, I knew he was going to wait for an important day and he already missed Valentine's day and the next holiday is like... 6 months from now. And I didn't want to wait anymore so I just started planning."

To be clear, her fiancé, Matt, is aware of this.

So, in all likelihood, the next time I leave California will be in October to go to CO.

In other news, I ACTUALLY got my car fixed this weekend. Last weekend was a false alarm that made my car MUCH worse. Driving this last week has been torturous. My car could BARELY accelerate. It was loud like a helicopter (in good moods, I pretended that my car was simply over traffic and had decided to evolve and take flight). The check engine light, no longer content with the overlook-ability of shining steadily, decided to flash at me ominously. But now it's fixed!! It's like when you get a cold and the stuffed nose and sore throat last several weeks. And then one day, you can breath and sing again and you remember how great life is. I can now sit at a light without cursing the designers for making me wait what is obviously past the legal limit of time anyone can wait while being in a time bomb. When people slow down to turn, I can now patiently accept and smile instead of being racked with fury that they are making me slow down because I'll never reach those lofty speeds of 35mph again. Life is sweet.

Great Weekend with a Small Snag

Saturday was OKAY.

I took my car to the mechanic. The good news is, he charged me only $27!!!! to fix my brake lamp, change my oil and fix my engine. The bad news is, the engine is worse than it was before. I can BARELY accelerate. I now sound like a helicopter. Lame.

I also watched Harry Potter 7.1, which I did not enjoy. It might have been a fine movie, but I was frustrated the entire time. I've read that book WAY too many times to enjoy the movie. I'd detail my... malcontented-ness, but I have more things to talk about.

Sunday was AWESOME!!

Corina and I had the following day:

1. Picked up AMAZING breakfast burritos at Coral for our drive to the beach.

2. Arrived at the beach. Glorious, sunny day. Not too crowded. Saw dolphins. Drank cokes from our cooler and ate Cape Cod chips with French onion dip. Tanned. (Corina burned, but I only burned in the areas I could not reach. In retrospect, it might have been smart to have Corina grease me up a bit).

3. Listened/sang to our a cappella album all the way to...

4. The dog park!! We just sat in the grass and let all the dogs attack us with love and cuddles.

5. Then we got changed and went to Hamburger Mary's, a transvestite/hamburger restaurant in West Hollywood. Kevin talks about the one in Orlando all the time and I never knew there was one here!!

We went to eat and play bingo as a fundraiser for Kitten Rescue. I had a blue cheese burger and a wildberry mojito. Willam Belli called out the numbers. I WON the grand prize!!! Gift certificates to In N Out and some other place... and a Paramount watch (it's nice. I'm wearing it now, although I'm afraid of the tan line...), a My Super Ex-Girlfriend beanie, a REALLY shmancy laptop case and the Wall-e soundtrack. Those are the things I kept. I gave away Step Up 3D, Marley and Me, and season 1 and 2 of The Secret Life of an American Teenager.

AND I was home by 10PM and capped the day with some old stand-bys. Friends and the Sims. Asleep by midnight.

I feel like I can hardly complain about the car, although it is a real problem.

Plans for the Weekend

This is my week of functioning technologies.

1. My car is OFFICIALLY going to the shop on Saturday. Miracle. Scratch that. The miracle will be if I can actually afford the damage.

2. Set up the TV!! There ARE like... 100 channels. Of course, a LOT of them are Asian (specifically Korean, I think) and some Spanish. I haven't researched what stations I do have, although I'm confident that I have ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX and PBS. I also saw a channel with The Nanny on it, which I assume means it's some sort of Nick at Nite or something. I don't like The Nanny... at all..., but I have an affinity (understatement) for old sitcoms in general.

It's important to note that I am actually using rabbit ears. It's hilarious. Also, I have so many wires classlessly strewn about my room, waiting to explode in public service announcement fashion (remember those? when they would have a live wire sitting in a puddle of milk while someone pokes at a hot toaster with a fork?). It was especially scary because I somehow spilled gasoline on my shoe last night (mystery) and was feeling especially flammable.

Aside from getting my car fixed and tackling the room (I have 2 weekends for this), my other goal for this weekend is to darken. To tan. To purposefully take measures towards impending leathery skin (at best) and cancer (at worst). I want my friends to come on Memorial Day weekend and be confused by the existence of an additional latina friend they didn't know they had. I'll use sunscreen, sure. But I'll hope it doesn't work. It's clear I'm talking about beach fun, right?

Pleasures, Gifts, Points

ONE MONTH UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!

Mitzvah update: 150 points last week. Which means that in the past 3 weeks, my average points is 160 1/3. Which I only surpassed for one of the weeks. What I'm learning is that this is why I have the game. The disparity between good weeks and bad weeks is craziness.

I've been helping my boss' mom out with some things recently and she always comments on how grateful she is despite my assurances that it's my pleasure to help. I mean... I'm doing it DURING work, so it's truly no skin off my nose. However she gives me little gifts anyway, which is awesome. However the other day, she gave me the greatest gift of all. She gave me the knowledge of something called a digital converter box. I vaguely recalled them (?) talking about these boxes when we nationally switched to digital, but... I didn't get it. I didn't connect that to why I couldn't receive basic channels without having cable. I thought the boxes were for old box TVs and that new TVs were fine by themselves. Nay. Digital converter box. The greatest knowledge bestowed upon me in... well time is meaningless. It's great.

But then she gave me an even GREATER gift. She actually BOUGHT me the converter box! I can watch The Office during broadcast time! I can watch the news... maybe. I mean... I haven't plugged it in yet, so I'm running wild with my fantasies. But this lady has one and she gets channels without having cable.

Pressing on...

I had the GREATEST dinner yesterday. Me and three of my friends sitting outside in the gorgeous, jacket-less LA night time. Making burgers on the grill. Making LADY burgers on the grill. I hate to discriminate, but these burgers were tiny, on toasted sour dough bread with spread goat cheese, microgreens, avocado, and caramelized chalets on it. I'm pretty sure those are lady burgers. And as a lady, I find them EXQUISITE. And we sat outside drinking sparkling white wine and eating beans and salad WITH artichokes and cheese in it and talking about movie production. And then cupcakes for dessert. I love being a woman. A woman with friends. A woman with classy, adult lady friends.

MOVIE SECTION:

Kick Ass. I LOOOVED it!! 3 minutes in I started to worry that I already knew too much about the movie because the little girl cursing didn't affect me the way it might have had I not known it was coming. But there were still plenty of things that took me by hilarious surprise. Like the fact that I still think McLovin' is hilarious, even though I thought he was going to be a one hit wonder in my brain. And Aaron Johnson. O GOD Aaron Johnson!

Everything is Illuminated. Lame.

How could a movie with this cover be about the Holocaust?! Also, I don't want to be cheap about this, but nothing was illuminated. It would have been nice if I knew what we were searching for. If there WAS anything to be searching for. I don't feel like anyone learned anything. There were funny moments, but unless I'm being deeply DEEPLY and UNIQUELY moved, I don't need the comedy to be punctuated by the Holocaust-y.

I also watched Happy Endings, which I greatly enjoyed. WAY more than Everything is Illuminated but probably less than Kick Ass. But I have personally spoken at length with TWO of the actors in it (Jason Ritter, Eric Jungmann), which kind of heightens it for me.