The End

And for my 500th blog I shall...

quit blogging altogether.

Colorado

Back from CO. I must warn you that upon my first questioning of the trip, I ended up talking for like... 15 minutes straight. I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but it was not a dialogue. I just spouted off everything, rapid-fire. What I'm saying is at this moment, I have no ability to filter out what is actually interesting to other people. You may want to skim. Now that I think about it though, this may not be any different from every other blog... so let's proceed.

The journey:

It was the best flight I've had in my memory.

1. My personal timing was amazing. Usually, I leave so early for traveling situations that I end up waiting around for well over 2 hours before I even board the vehicle. However, because my flight was at 7am, I chopped down the time and ended up getting to my gate exactly 1 hour early. I'm not sure if that still seems excessive for others, but I'm pretty sure that if I had any less than an hour, I'd have been panicking for all of my waking hours.

2. The flight was like... half full. I got a window seat and a whole row to myself! Especially awesome since I don't remember flying over the mountains before. I stared out the window the whole time.

3. The flight attendants were super cute. One wore one of those glasses with the fake nose and mustache and one wore a hat that had weird pigtails or something. Over the speaker, they imitated the Wicked Witch of the West voice with a "welcome to the Southwest broomstick, my pretties."

4. My flight came in early and I raced to the baggage claim. When I got there, my bag was ALREADY ON THE CAROUSEL! That's unprecedented!

Renting a car/driving:

The car rental was SUPER easy. I got a free upgrade on the car because the cheapest one wasn't available at the time of my arrival. Silver Hyundai Esteria? Estrada? I'm so uninterested that I'm not even going to look up the official make. It was pretty easy renting the car, although they did take an unexpected $250 deposit, which would have been a deal breaker a mere half a year ago. Luckily, I had the funds.

What I WILL say is that in Colorado, they drive the speed limit in the FAST LANE! I was going out of my mind. Almost no traffic and a car that actually WANTS to accelerate and I felt obligated to keep with the flow of traffic... at 65mph. In my brain, 65mph means cruise between 65 and 75. That 10mph difference made me NUTS. Also, I may have scared Amy a smidge, and she remarked that I am an LA driver. It must be true because I felt so relieved when I got home.

Overall, it was definitely worth it for me to get the car. As expected, I had the independence to come and go as I please, which I used multiple times, including a nostalgic cruise by my old house and school and park. Plus, whenever I needed to get some air, my excuse was "I'm going to run to my car for a second" and race out before anyone thought to ask why. I use this excuse a lot in real life too.

Packing:

I really know this part isn't interesting, but I feel the need to write it anyway. I MUST stop thinking of face wash as superfluous! I couldn't decide if I wanted to check my bag or not when I packed, so I only brought liquids in containers of less than 3 oz and my face wash is more. I always think that my self-maintanance priorities are eyeliner and at least one lotion (although I brought 3 because I might have a problem...). FACE WASH IS A PRIORITY. I immediately broke out.

Dad and Indigo pt. 1:

The first day, I got to my dad's and chatted with him and Indigo for a little while. Indigo either LOVED my gift to her (an autographed picture of Stana Katic from Castle, whom she formerly informed me is her fave) or humored me, but I'm definitely going to assume the former. They were both pretty exhausted though, and I ended up rattling off movies and TV shows and actors and my opinions on them for hours, probably. Then we watched Ratatouille, which we'd all already seen. I'll be honest because I don't think they'll read this, but I was kind of pissed off since I could've spent those two precious hours with Amy, in which we would actually be talking. I just couldn't think of how to leave for Amy's at 3pm when I told them I was going to go at 5 or 6pm. If I'd had any foresight at all, I would have told my dad to take a snooze and I would have gone to the park or for a walk with Indigo. C'est la vie.

Pre-wedding:

I haven't seen many (any?) brides, but I'm pretty sure Amy would still win as the absolute most chill bride ever!

When I arrived, Amy was taking a break from making the cake (she made her own cake! In the shape of the tower from Lord of the Rings) and eating pizza. We broke out some red wine, but quickly decided that we'd prefer beer. So we ran out and got some Blue Moon and drank about half a bottle each before our conversation sparked Amy's memory regarding a store that I would love.

We ended up going to a store call Tradesmart that had BAJILLIONS of movies and books for cheap! I ended up buying Thumbelina and The Doors and the book Game of Thrones. There was no cell service in the store, so when we emerged, Amy was bombarded by calls from her mom, as it was 9pm the night before her wedding and we basically left a crime scene behind - half empty glasses of wine, partially eaten warm pizza, unfinished cake, half empty cold bottles of beer and the TV still on.

Eventually we got home and got back to the cake while watching Monty Python's Flying Circus. At one point Amy turned to me and said "I'm already losing motivation for this," which I found hilarious.

At about 11:30pm, Amy revealed her hair plan to me, which was that III was going to put it up using hairagami. Remember the commercials from the 90s? It turns out, it's just two snap bracelets sewn together. After about 15 minutes of trying and mostly failing, we went to sleep.

Woke up at 8am. Got ready. Her family made a breakfast of eggs, pancakes, and bacon! I did Amy's hair with more success. Packed up the car and headed out.

Now for some pictures:

The wedding took place at an establishment in a small shopping center in the mountains. The ceremony took place outside. There was a little stream with a bridge over it and we all stood on the precipice with a pretty arch and a mountain backdrop.

It was beautiful and sunny, but there was a nice, crisp mountain breeze that was a little chilly. The preacher had a very low, soothing voice and he read the Corinthians passage about love being patient and kind etc. Amy and Matt also picked out their own poems for the preacher to read, which were very beautiful, but I can't remember them anymore. They also took two bottles of different colored sand -- black and a rust orange-- and poured them into a vase to symbolize their individual identities blending together in unity. The preacher said something along the lines of "may you be in love for longer than it would take to separate each grain of sand."

I want to include this picture of me walking down the aisle with the best man, Scott, because I am NOT wearing opaque white stockings. That is just my legs!!

Bridesmaids. I'm wearing the dress that my grandma Cheryl made for me. She suggested I send it to Amy ahead of time to get professionally... steamed? Ironed? Pressed? Anyway, I didn't do it...

Also, I've had many child sims wearing the flower girl's exact outfit.

Wedding party, regular. Also, despite what it looks like, standing on the slope of that bridge in heels for what felt like a jillion hours, KILLED.

Wedding party + masks.

I don't know how well you can tell from the picture, but their masks were VERY intricate and beautiful.

Lord of the Rings style cake, that I participated in. I can't even TELL you how delicious this cake was. Chocolate and chocolate chip cream cheese cake with a REALLY delicious frosting. I'm not even a huge fan of cake, in general. When I finally get my own pictures developed (I had to get disposable cameras because my digital camera is dead), you will see some pictures of my sister feasting on the cake later.

The figurines on the other cake. Awesome.

After the ceremony and JILLIONS of pictures, we went back inside for the reception. I signed as a witness on the marriage license, which was neat. Also, as part of the wedding party, we got to eat first, which was sweet! They had really tender turkey, potatoes, vegetables (peppers, mushrooms, zucchini), salad and bread. Delicious. We also got two drink coupons. I got a pino grigio (white) and a coke.

After the meal, we all got glasses of champagne and I got to make the first toast. I was debating myself over whether I was going to post the actual toast I made or if I was just going to brag about it. I've decided the latter.

I was pretty nervous and so while my voice remained steady, the paper I held was shaking uncontrollably, although Amy said it offered a nice touch. But the guests were generous with the laughter, so it was nice. Plus, afterwards I got a jillion compliments. One guest said it made her cry and one told me that she was a speech teacher and would have given me an A. Amy's grandmother asked if I planned to do anything with writing and I told her that I am going to try and write for movies, and then immediately regretted setting such high expectations for my future. Oh well.

After my speech, the best man gave a toast in which he quoted a good portion of The Princess Bride "mawage" speech, which I loved. Amy's dad did a cute speech about how he knows that Amy and Matt aren't related (because they both have the same last name). Amy's grandpa gave a very very brief and funny speech. "May all your problems be little ones." That was it.

Afterwards, Amy and Matt cut the cake. Then they did their first dance (Frank Sinatra's "I Love You," which they had Matt pick out just moments before the wedding. In fact, the way I met the groom was by going up to him, introducing myself, and demanding he pick a song. Unconventional, perhaps). Then Amy and her dad danced. And then we all danced forever and ever.

Then we went back to Amy's parent's house, where we dressed in casual clothes and had some pulled pork sandwiches, beer from a keg, and cake and we watched a picture slideshow of Amy and Matt's childhood to present. Then Amy's family watched a tivo-ed Broncos game, which was super nostalgic for me because I remember going to her house during the games all the time. Of course, we'd dress up for the Broncos and then promptly go downstairs to play pool and watch Celebrity Death Match. I'm actually thinking of a specific Superbowl party...

Eventually it was time for me to leave. It was such an emotional day that Amy and I ended up just bawling. She also gave me a bridesmaid gift-- a flask with my name engraved on it.

(Note: I didn't really get her a gift because... I didn't really know how I could do it, so I just wrote her a check and gave it to her in a card encouraging them to spend it on chocolate. I also gave her my copy of my toast, which I wrote out in hand because I thought it would be more special that way.)

I kind of had to settle down for a bit and used the time to cruise by my old house and a few other areas. Then I went on a wild goose chase to find my dad and my sister, which I won't detail because this is already way too long.

Indigo pt. 2:

When I got back to my dad's house, my dad decided to go across the street and catch the end of a hockey game and give Indigo and I some time alone. In almost all circumstances, being forced to bond with an 11-year-old for 45 minutes sounds like torture. But Indigo is fucking AWESOME!! First of all, her current favorite book is Hunger Games, so we bonded over that. We talked about how girls are lame in middle school and she told me about a girl she knew who was annoying but she had a brain tumor so Indigo was conflicted, which I thought was very complex and amazing and empathetic of her. She loves to dance (tap, ballet, point and... something else) and when I was talking to her about dance movies, she finally reminded me that she was 11 by saying she couldn't see Black Swan because she wasn't allowed. She wants to be either a singer/dancer/actor (although she isn't confident about her singing abilities (I didn't hear her, so I don't know)) OR a forensic anthropologist (like Bones). We took some pictures and I suggested we do a goofy one and asked her what scenario we should react to. She said "let's pretend we're seeing a guy just pooping on the street!" Awesome! AWESOME!! When my dad came back, I KIND OF wanted to tell him to go away again.

Mostly, she is just an AMAZING conversationalist and I felt SUPER kindred to her. I felt like she is my sister, even though I've seen her for maybe... 50 days of her life. Even some of our preferences are the same-- we both prefer chocolate-based ice cream. Neither of us like icing. Okay, so it's not ground breaking similarities, but it still felt awesome at the time.

The best part was that when I first arrived in CO, before we even picked Indigo up from her mom's house, my dad told me that Indigo's dream is to live in Golden, CO forever. However, at the end of the trip, Dad told me that Indigo is now planning to move to LA in 7 years. I was flattered, but it was especially reinforced when we went back to her mom's house and her mom said the same thing of Indigo's new LA plans. I am always amazed at how hard we bond. And how comfortable she is with me. She's unbelievable.

I didn't actually see her in that can-can outfit, but my dad just posted this of her from Halloween.

Dad pt. 2:

After Indigo left, my dad and I got to bond. We tend to talk about life, monumentally. Gaping generalizations and realizations about how to be happy and fulfilled. We ended up going outside and my dad made a fire in his backyard. It was actually hilarious to me because he's SUPER efficient about it. Getting certain sticks from one area of his yard. Logs from another area. Different logs from another area. A huge trashcan specifically dedicated to pine needles for his fire, which we gathered from the front yard. Placing the chairs down wind. He builds a LOT of fires in his backyard, is what I'm saying.

Mostly, it was excellent. I'll tell you a couple of things though, because I feel confident that my dad won't read this and even if he did, he would probably just skim... but when I talk to my dad, it isn't the same as it used to be and it fills me with disappointment. We don't connect in the same way, and part of it is because I AM kind of bitter about our relationship, but it's not really his fault and I don't really want to talk about it with him. I don't mean to be bitter either, but I feel cheated that I'm his second tier daughter and I got stuck with Ernie. These feelings color my interactions with him now. And it just especially hurts because having long talks with my dad always used to be REALLY incredible and inspiring and eye opening.

More awkwardly though, I didn't want to talk about my mom. There was just zero way that I wasn't going to cry--between crying so much earlier at and after the wedding and having some alcohol in my system and being with my dad late at night and already being super sensitive about my mom at this time-- and I just didn't want to spoil the moment. When I felt we were going to slip into talking about my mom for real, I told him that we always get to a point in which we talk about her and I just wanted to avoid the whole topic, which was a little awkward. Unfortunately, by nature of our relationship, we kept talking about parents. His parents. Him being a parent. Brothers and sisters. To be more clear, IIII kept bringing up my mom. So I had to keep doing a 180 every time I accidentally brought her up. Our conversation got a little stilted because of that. Although I am pretty proud of how I handled it anyway.

The last day:

The next day, I learned that I left a few things at Amy's house and, more importantly, I stole a few things from her. However, it ended up being fortuitous because it gave me the perfect excuse to pop by her new apartment, which I was DYING to see. It is AWESOME, by the way. If I wasn't so pleased with my own apartment, I'd be REALLY jealous. Plus, it was nice to say goodbye to her again, but without so many tears.

Then I headed to Denver to help my dad's long-term girlfriend, Asiana, move. I enjoy moving and actually, we were moving so briefly that it barely counted. It was excellent seeing the very beginning of Asiana's new place. It'll be great to see how it evolves. My dad let us spend some time alone together and we walked around her new neighborhood looking for coffee shops. We eventually found one, but we found WAY more bars and adult entertainment stores. It was lovely.

Then I went to lunch with my grandparents. It was WAY more lovely than I imagined it would be. Usually they're very judgmental and annoying, but they were very supportive of all of my choices and seemed pleased with me. Afterwards, I remembered that the last time I saw them, it was nice as well, but I guess it got blocked out of my mind by the many MANY unpleasant experiences I've had with them.

Then I took off for the airport. Returned the car. It was very nice because everyone kept asking me if I was okay on time, which I thought was kind. Of course, I was just fine on time, because of my time issues.

The plane ride was great. We had to stop and switch planes in Las Vegas. Did you know that there are slot machines in the AIRPORT in Vegas? Something about that city absolutely disgusts me and I was disturbed by the gambling in the airport. Whatever.

On my second flight, I started writing an imaginary blog about my trip and lamented the fact that I didn't have my computer. Oh well.

The only unpleasant part:

I decided to wait until I actually got my bags before I called for the shuttle to take me to my car. I REALLY shouldn't have. I called them at 9:53pm and patiently waited until 10:20pm, when I instantly became furious. I called again, and waited again until 10:43pm, when I was so pissed that I wanted to cry. Of course, me being furious on the phone sounds like "Hi, I'm so sorry to keep calling but..." On that third call, they told me that I'm supposed to be in a completely different place. Basically, on the ticket it says that you need to stand under the red "hotel" sign. There are a JILLION of these signs everywhere, and I was supposed to be at a SPECIFIC one in the middle island, in between two terminals and not just at the sign right out the door. Why they didn't tell me or even call me when I wasn't there, is beyond me.

FINALLY I saw a shuttle with the same name as my parking center. Unfortunately, there are two companies with the same one and that shuttle belonged to the other one. PISSED!! But a few minutes later, the guy with the wrong shuttle told me that my parking service picked up one of HIS clients, so he was going to my location anyway and would bring me with him. I wanted to make out with him in gratitude, but I settled for tipping him $2. What a kind guy.

I ended up getting home at 11:30pm.

And that's the end!!

Anticipating November

November is shaping up to be awesome already, I think!

Next Wednesday, I plan to attend a comedy night. The reason this makes headlines is because it came SUPER highly recommended by a producer friend of mine who said "This is one of those 'I SAW THEM BEFORE THEY WERE FAMOUS' shows. This is probably the best, most original character-driven comedy I have ever seen." I have no idea what it's about, but I don't think I can miss this. I must know. I must have a riotous Wednesday evening.

Then, upon reading my daily dose of cracked.com, Dan O'Brien convinced me to go to my first ever comic book convention called Comikaze. It's only $12 (I'm only going for one day). Read this and tell me you're not super jealous of my choice!! I already bought my ticket for Saturday, so if I have any readers that I know who live in LA and want to join me, there is a 40-50% chance I'll be going alone (unless cracked is as persuasive to Corina as it is to me). And while I usually LOVE doing things alone, this might actually be kind of sad...

Still, I'm SUPER pumped!

Lastly, I just signed up to volunteer at the LA Food Bank with people from Present Pictures (the people who gave me the gift of The Perfect Family) on Nov. 19. Absolutely r-excellent!! There is nothing better than a crisp, fall morning of volunteering, followed by some snacks and a chat with people you haven't seen in a while. It's a feel good activity on almost all of the possible levels.

Of course, Thanksgiving also occurs in November. My dad will turn...41? 42? on Nov. 16. Amy will turn 24 as a married woman on November 30. Natalya's birthday is Nov. 27.

Whatever. That's all about November.

Also, this is my 498 blog (on this website...). Maybe I'll make a special one for #500. Probs not, though.

Pre-trip Babbling

I am SO excited to drive that rental car on Saturday! I'm even more excited about other parts of my trip, but... that's what I feel like expressing. Especially because MY car is giving me grief again. Physically it's in regular shape (still waiting on rusty muffler companion piece), but now I have to deal with the registration. I recalled, with the help of my mother, that my registration is up this month. So I need to switch my car insurance, plates, and possibly license. And I don't want to be bitter about this, but I swear they make it almost COMPLETELY impossible. Why is the DMV not open on Saturday?!! I would GLADLY (well... we'll say that although in an alternate universe in which the DMV WAS open on Saturday, the real adverb would probably be closer to "begrudgingly." But pressing on...) wait at the DMV all day on a Saturday, but taking the morning off is just the worst. This is doing absolutely nothing for the reputation of government run agencies, I'll tell you that. It's not even a good story because I've NEVER heard anything nice about the DMV.

The point is I stressed about this for a week and a half, then promptly decided that it simply can't be done. I simply can't get the registration switched before the end of the month. I pray that no cops pull me over in the week or two (hopeful estimate) of November when I'm trying to work it out. I love the relief that giving up gives you. Like when you're running late and you start going CRAZY, praying, cutting corners on time. But then after you realize there is no way for you to be on time, you instantly relax. It's done now. There is no hope. I can just plan for the consequences now.

Things to be done:

1. Laundry. Bummer.

2. Buy a specific thing for Amy that I don't think you can get in CO.

3. Pack

4. Find camera and charge battery

5. Make sure I can park at the airport.

My MAIN goal for tonight was going to be to write my speech. I had every intention of going home tonight and pounding it out like a paper. However, last night, as I was wandering around my apartment my brain just started giving an imaginary speech. After 5 minutes I realized that I should write this shit down!! and bolted to my room. 2 hours later, speech complete. Well... it's good enough that I won't be ashamed to read it as is, but I've made some changes throughout the day.

I'm having a bit of a fling with Monty Python. I wouldn't call it a full blown obsession. A mild flirtation. But I bought their autobiography for $6 (with shipping) on amazon. Mostly so that I don't go into an awkward spiral in which I only read Ella Enchanted over and over every day. The abuse that book has taken is evident. No one would be surprised if said spiral was already taking place, by the looks of it.

Bah! It will be so weird to leave California! I will not have daydreams about them refusing to let me back in once I've stepped out. I will not.

Another Weekend Summary

Pretty good weekend.

On Friday I went to an improv show at UCB! Even though I think of myself as a consumer of improv, I'm not enough! Knowing 20 episodes of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" does not an improv connoisseur make. Mostly I was just extremely impressed. Although there were occasional extended moments of zero laughter that made me feel terrible but I'm pretty sure it's just an inevitability. I had to force a chuckle on occasion, but for the most part it was riotous. I went with my high school friend Darri and a friend, and we met up with yet another friend later in the night for some Italian food at a VERY quaint Italian restaurant on Melrose. I'll go back if I remember what it was called. Very cute outdoor garden in the back.

Saturday I woke up early to get the mechanic at 8am (lame). But when I got there, he didn't have the part. I am in love with my mechanic, but he could've called. But whatever. I didn't go back to sleep and instead watched Drive (which I own due to job perks (when I have job perks, they are the BEST!)).

It was good. From the beginning it was clear that they were trying to bring an 80s vibe to it via the soundtrack. It reminded me of a Less Than Zero or True Romance (although that was 93), even though I don't EXACTLY remember the soundtrack for either of those films. It was fine, except that the acting was too good to correspond with such jolting music. There was definitely a scene in particular with Carey Mulligan where the music and scene were so off that it was more like listening to the movie in mute and letting the loud neighbors next door provide the tunes.

Other than that, it was stellar acting and casting (Albert Brooks!!), a pretty straightforward plot, and an annoying ending (but it seems like all movies like this have an annoying ending). Mostly, it was ABSOLUTELY worth watching for the Gosling alone. I was literally groaning aloud every time his mouth twitched to a grin and I rewound frequently to get a second helping of certain looks exchanged between Gosling and Mulligan. Plus, he was a mostly silent character, which means that his suave, altruistic, mysterious appearance was never tarnished with shitty dialogue.

ANYWAY

Then I watched Miss Congeniality and spent the remainder of the daylight hours rereading Ella Enchanted. The latter was especially excellent, even though it's a children's book and I basically know it by heart. If I had to make an HONEST list of my top books, it would still be in the top 5 (assuming Harry Potter is counted as one book...). Then I had some friends over... so at least I did something...

Sunday I got a hair straightener for the wedding. I'm not sure if that was a life changing purchase since my hairstyle is what I lovingly refer to as "hangover hair," even though I never actually have a hangover. For now I haven't even opened the straightener because I have neither a blowdryer, nor the willingness to devote 15 minutes to hair in the morning. Lotion Regime has taken that time slot and I prioritize moist skin above straight hair. For now.

I also refilled some paint colors, got a couple of canvases, and scoured a Vogue I bought several months ago for new painting ideas while watching the extended version of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I LOVE that movie. LOVE.

Plus, I finally tested out my solar, cool white Christmas lights. PERFECT choice. Cool lights are so elegant and unobtrusive and give the fairyland impression that I love. Very pleased.

Wedding next weekend!

A Mundane Day (Detailed)

The weekend was pretty good.

Went to a 9-year-olds birthday party. Yes, while I actively avoid going out to drinks (I'm working on it (but not really...)), I will absolutely jump for a chance to attend a child's party. It has all of my favorite elements: free pizza, karaoke machine (although I didn't utilize it), a bouncy castle (again, not utilized due to a revelation I had 3 years ago: bouncy castles are HARD y'all. I can take 30-90 seconds before I fall straight to sleep (and bouncy castles maintain the warmth and comfort for the kind of instant unconsciousness that suggests narcolepsy (presumably the downside is the abundance of tiny feet jumping on your face, but I'm pretty sure I could take it))). Most importantly, such parties have a plethora of the shortest, funnest, most scatterbrained tiny humans running around and asking you where they put the cake (because everyone over 5 feet is MOSTLY just a cake supplier to a 9-year-old).

ANYWAY,

The next day was mechanic day. I had to be there at 8am, which was lame because I had to wake up earlier than I do on a work day. Whatever whatever. I brought the car over and my mechanic (/lover?) told me to call back in the afternoon. So I have a minimum of 4 hours to kill.

Went to my old shopping center (the one I used to park in for 2 hours per night, talking on the phone to Kevin, when I lived with Davida) and immediately headed for Denny's. Got an OKAY breakfast burrito. I'm a harsh judge of breakfast burritos now that Corina and I have made it our mission to find the best breakfast burrito establishments. One of the many, highly productive goals our roommate-ship has wrought. One hour down.

Next, I get a pedicure at the same shopping center (all of this tale will be at the same shopping center). It was pretty good, although I hadn't shaved my legs because I didn't have that much foresight so... that can be awkward, but it was okay overall. Although I have to mention that for the most part the lady and I weren't really chatting and mostly I just vaguely watched what she was doing through sleepy eyes. But when she started the leg and foot massage she started making really intense eye contact, really gauging my face. I can really only describe it as feeling like I was on the receiving end of a blow job. And I won't lie-- I was being seduced a little bit. Although not enough to pay for extra time (happy ending?). Anyway, another hour down.

Then I decide to make some calls, but my phone has only 2 bars so I have to make them count. A short one to my mom (depressing and also confirming that I will NOT be returning home for Christmas), a slightly longer one to my brother (13-years-old and thus useless on the phone), and finally one to a friend from high school whom I haven't spoken to in 5 years (Steph).

3 hours down. And one battery nearly dead.

I call my mechanic, an HOUR after I technically could call him, and he told me that it would be ready around 3 or 4pm but he would call me. Naturally, I spend 10 minutes praying that it's ready at 3pm.

Then I get some soup. Get some chai latte. Read some Bridget Jones' Diary (I unfortunately left my Hunger Games companion book at work). No call at 3pm.

Listen to some Mitch Hedberg. Listen to my music, which was amazing because I realized that I haven't heard a song in good quality for a LONG time (because my car gives me.... more like a SHADOW of a song). Informed by this revelation, I listen to Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You." Then Whitney and Mariah's "When You Believe." Then a shit-ton of Mariah.

At 4pm I'm about to cry (it's been 8 hours!). I don't want to call and be annoying (and thus upping my bill (in my brain)) but I'm about to kill myself. I decide to walk back to the mechanics and hope he calls en route. When I get there (4:15pm), I see my car on the sidewalk. No one is working on it so they're either finished or... they haven't started (?!). So I go for the annoying and call. And my car is ready! But when I talk to my mechanic he tells me that he's given me a new muffler but since my car is old and from the east coast (weather damaged), the stuff around the muffler (?) is rusty and needs to be replaced. I have to go back next Saturday. NOOOOOO!!

It's okay. It's an exercise in patience. Although I asked him if my headlights and oil change went okay and he admitted that he forgot about the headlights. He did it in a hot second, so I don't care, but it does make me reconsider calling him "my mechanic (/lover?)."

I have to say, I told this tale twice, and to both recipients I mentioned that I was glad I told them my story because then I won't be tempted to write a blog about it. I feel like my longest blog entries often detail the most mundane days. Well so much for that...

Sunday was less eventful. I went to Kohl's which is QUITE a journey from my house, but I got some extras for my wedding ensemble and a new shirt, sweater and nightgown. I WANTED to get one of those fancy olive oil containers that you use to pour oil onto a plate and dip bread in (so... Bertucci's...) but alas, they had none. Probs best because I bet I can find one cheaper than whatever they would sell at Kohl's. I also perused the luggage section. I'm kind of scared to buy luggage because it's so expensive and I'm not POSITIVE of the features I'm going to need throughout my life. I'm not even sure of the ideal size-- I know what's ideal in my HEAD (small (but important-looking)), but not so much what I'm going to want to bring on my future business trips (so far, imaginary). So I'm going to put it off for now.

I DID have a bit of an episode later in the evening. Corina came home and we became less-than-sober, which is noteworthy because I started telling her about how I'm not going home for Christmas and then I just burst into tears. Corina is so lovely and one of the most empathetic people I know, so naturally she started crying with me. It was good, I guess, but I had such a time trying to even us out again. I tried a joke(ish) to recover, but that came off as pathetic, which I could see in her eyes. Then I just announced my difficulty in leveling us out again, which didn't really help either. Finally, I just prayed to be distracted enough to not worry it anymore, which worked, I think.

The important thing is, I seem to be pretty upset that I'm not going home. By Christmas it will have been 2 years. The silver (golden) lining is that I am already booked for housesitting at that time. Yes, that's right. I've already forgotten that I'm sick of housesitting. Or more accurately, I've become suddenly shocked that my checking account numbers are no longer doubling regularly. Plus it's the huskies that I love, which is truly a treat.

Good Weekend (Boring Title)

Excellent weekend.

1. Got to see Julia for the first time in... impossible to estimate the time frame. "Long-ass" is my best approximation. It was magnificent.

And on a side note, I really want to find a bar near me that's casual and only costs $3.50 for a Sam Adams like Rancho (her preferred dive bar). I just can't make the journey to Altadena every time the mood strikes.

2. I basically did nothing on Saturday. This point is emphasized by the fact that I spent approximately 45 minutes walking around my living room with my pajamas and heels on, whistling. Not cleaning or waiting for something or thinking hard about a vexing situation. Just whistling. Mostly I had pre-forgiven myself for wasting a day because on Sunday...

3. Corina and I had Nesting Day. Our apartment has looked like we just moved in since... we moved in. In July. We picked this day several weeks in advance and we had 5 goals.

Goals:

a. Breakfast burritos-- We weren't THRILLED with our burrito vendor (we had to pay extra for cheese and bacon), but it was delicious.

b. Christmas lights- we were anticipating more of a struggle on this, but Target has an INCREDIBLE selection of Christmas lights. Presumably it was serendipitous timing, but there were seriously boxes of JUST purple Christmas lights. And solar powered lights!

Corina got a box of blue and a box of purple for her room. I got a box of red for mine (I'm not 1000% confident about my choice, but I haven't hung them yet-- we'll see). We got a box of colored for the living room and 2 boxes of solar powered, cool white lights for our balcony.

c. mats/rug - since we planned this day forever ago, we fully intended on getting our things at garage sales and thrift stores. However we quickly learned that rugs are expensive. Really expensive. Like... $100. So we've temporarily abandoned the idea of a rug in favor of mats. We got an outdoor welcome mat and a kitchen mat at Lowe's and we got 4 rugs that are all awesome and slightly different from Osh (I'd describe them more, but I feel like in this case, my words will never give you an accurate picture. Better wait and photograph it). We'll wait on the rug until we're certain we know what the forever color scheme of our living room will be.

d. Dining table - Again, we really hunted. $150 for a decent one at a garage sale. $200 for a good one at a thrift store. More than $200 at the unfinished furniture store. We finally went to Ikea where we found a very basic table for $70. The chairs were $20 each, so we only got two. What I'm saying is, if you eat at my house, you will be sitting on patio furniture. And depending on the size of the gathering, it might not even be a chair.

Corina and I assembled our table and chairs to the music of Eric Whitacre until our fingers became enflamed.

e. Pizza - We prepared the box of pizza dough mix that my aunt gave me and made a pizza topped with pesto, basil, tomato slices, sun dried tomato slices, pieces of fresh mozzarella, pieces of feta, and garlic. Cooked on the pizza stone that my aunt sent me. It was a wildly delicious (and slightly redundant) pizza!

For posterity, I must add that... I felt unwell in ways I will not detail this morning. I feel strongly that this is not a coincidence. But if I still had more of that pizza in the fridge, the knowledge of its consequences would not deter further consumption. It was worth it, is what I'm saying.

We ended the day with some apricot beer and Grosse Point Blank.

The Best Things In Life Are Free (maybe)

I was right about the rain!! It's been pouring since I woke up! I know I'm bragging about my weather-predicting prowess, but I have to. I'm so pleased that I'm getting better at reading the signs. The signs that the weather is changing. The signs that my body needs a little more attention. These are things that have almost always escaped me in the past.

I got another AMAZING gift. My boss knew that I've had the same cigarette case/wallet forever and that it's broken but I wanted another cigarette holder and I like asking for them as a gift because then it's extra special-- I'm just not into wallets. A month later (today), she brings me a new holder!! What an angelic boss I have!

Plus, it confirms my suspicions that if you wait, the things you want come for free! I know this probably isn't monumentally true, but did I not want a bed? A bookshelf? A side table? Did I not specifically want a chair and trashcan and then get them a few days later? Have I not been talking about my ipod desires for ages? And now the wallet?! I'm a very lucky lady.

For posterity, I did get a cold. However, I seem much better now than I did this morning... so hopefully it will be short lived. I just get scared when I start coughing up large pieces of mucus because... it takes forever to go away. And I run through my supply of fast food napkins that I keep in my glove compartment. And I can't sing. And I won't skip work unless I'm immobile (has never happened, obviously). But I'm optimistic at this moment!!

Sudden Temperature Drop / Hunger Games

Yesterday I went to work in a sleeveless dress that didn't even reach my knees. No sweatshirt or even a cardigan.

Last night I sat on my balcony in my thick slippers, my winter Boston hat, and my sweatshirt pulled tight around me. For the first time, I had to close my door before going to bed.

This morning: coat.

Plus, and I HATE to say this, but I know I'm getting a cold. I'm going to try REALLY hard to stifle it, but we'll see. I have the throat tickle, but no pain (yet?).

What just happened? Maybe the change snuck up on me because I was in unfamiliar houses for so long. It's hard to tell it's getting colder when you don't know how warm the place was before. Or else the season actually changed last night. And I know what this means-- rain! Soon! It's made me recognize my error in choosing a suede shoe for my brown outfits. I do have the spray to protect them, but surely in the actual rainy season no amount of spray will protect them.

In other news, while I'm still caught up in The Hunger Games, this second book is forcing me to see many more flaws. Actually, just one big flaw that's driving me nuts. I feel like Suzanne Collins is rushing through the books. It's lacking description. I don't really want to give things away, but why do I not know what the separate districts look like, what they're responsible for, as we're touring them? Why don't I get to hear DETAILED accounts of how Katniss' family and friends felt watching her during moments of the games? I love that the television aspect gives you an extra level: her being aware of being watched, her watching herself. But instead of hearing her own perspective twice, let's hear what others thought! And for god's sake, isn't this geared towards ladies? Why have I read the description "he told me how much he loves me" or "he proposed" so many times? WORDS! I need the WORDS!! What did he say??!! What did his face look like?! What the FUCK!

Also, even though Katniss isn't NEARLY as annoying as Bella in Twilight (sorry, but I'm rating this on a scale of Twilight to Harry Potter...), she sure doesn't pick up on verbal cues very well. If I'm reading from her perspective, why do I seem to know more than she does? At least about the people around her.

But I am enjoying it a lot! I like the levels that television adds. I like that I sincerely can't choose between her two boyfriends. I like that no one ever alluded to the fact that she couldn't win because she's a girl. That no one has been given lower odds because they're a girl. Plus, even though I think each book needs to swell with description to at least double it's current size, I can see the movie VERY clearly. If they do it right, and I think they will because I remember how HUGE it was when they started casting this, I think it could be really great.

In other other news, my mom sent me the BEST package:

1 inhaler

1 ipod

1 tub of eye cream

All of my favorite things! Although she did wrap the ipod around the eye cream box with medical tape to prevent it from breaking (this is a used ipod that she had around the house, btw). The medical tape made me feel nostalgic (at my house, medical tape is the tape you use. It's the tape available), but it also left the sticky residue on the ipod. I don't really care though, because I'm too excited about having an ipod again. I hope I learn to work it quickly. It looks a LOT like an iphone and it has a touch screen. I won't waste typing lamenting over touch screens or the fact that it might technically be able to get internet, which scares me.

Mostly, I'm just glad that it works! Although it has less memory than my old one and I had to go through my itunes unchecking 3GB of individual songs that I don't need. It was pretty boring. Plus, I had to decide whether I was going to take this opportunity to listen to some things I never hear, or if I'm going to stick with tunes I know and love. I chose the latter. I'd love to listen to new things, but I bet I won't. And I can always change things around if I'm feeling inspired.

The last thing I want to say is that while I was reading on Sunday, I kept getting the feeling that perhaps my days of being able to spontaneously abandon a whole day of activity in favor of reading a book may be limited.

Absorbed

I have been absorbed.

Saturday was regular. In fact, I woke up and decided to write down a list of what my perfect Saturday looks like (for that particular Saturday-- not monumentally). I did everything on the list:

- Got my Hunger Games books from the post office.

- Deposited my money and got quarters for laundry

- Went to target and got new sheets and a few other supplies (and I indulged in a new pillow... I love having like... 90 pillows on my bed even though I don't sleep with one under my head).

- Finished Zel (a favorite young adult book).

- Made a call.

Regular shit, is what I'm saying.

Sunday was SUPPOSED to be similar. I had laundry and grocery dreams. Returning library book dreams.

But instead I got ABSORBED by The Hunger Games. I ended up reading it cover to cover from 11am to 8pm. I sat on the balcony the entire time and as a result, I have an ass injury. I actually sat so long that it hurts to bend over. It probably doesn't help that the chair is plastic. This is impressive since I sit all day at work-- my ass should be able to take the long hours. (I did reflect on the uselessness of spending one of my only days that I COULD be moving around, sitting and reading-- exactly what I do at work)

Regardless of how good it is (better than Twilight, less annoying than Twilight, but closer to Twilight than Harry Potter in brilliance.. which is just fine with me), there is nothing better than an addictive book series. All of yesterday I thanked my fate that Katherine bought me these books because waiting to return to the library would have been torture.

Home!

HOME!!!

Did I mention that I was sleeping with dogs that had fleas for the last 3 weeks?! It was terribly disconcerting. And sad for them because they wanted to snuggle but I didn't want to make any fur-to-hair contact. I didn't get fleas, though, to be clear.

And NOW? Home to my roommate who lovingly serves me spanakopita, pizza minis, hot wings, and fontina cheese balls while I'm on the balcony sipping a nice, room temperature Corona. Home to the two shirts and one pair of pants that I didn't pack. Home to my mail and my incense and my assloads of lotions. And probably most importantly, home to the fact that I don't have to be home at least once every five hours-- I do what I want, again!

2 spinoff points:

1. Corina and my favorite scent is Egyptian Musk. I THOUGHT I just like the scent of incense in general, but it's actually just that one smell that I like best. Corina identified an oil with the same smell and our master plan is a procurement of said oil, followed by some decorative smearing of it all over everything in our house. I want people to consider our apartment both sweet smelling, and well-lubricated. Dream combination.

2. After merely looking after 2 dogs at a time for 2 months (6 dogs total (posterity)), I already see how the less responsibility you have at home, the better. With an influx of approximately one JILLION people suddenly becoming engaged (actually over months, but it FEELS sudden since time has sped up 10x in the past two years...), and me reeling over my feelings about it, it's nice to realize that I'm not even ready to lose any freedom to DOGS-- I'm just not there yet.

Vicky

Check out this webseries that I worked on and that my boss executive produced. It stars Olesya Rulin from High School Musical (she is also an angelic person in real life).

http://www.queenvicky.com/

More Pilot Analysis

Medium accomplishments this weekend.

Failed to do anything about Colorado. Well... I did ONE thing. I bought a jacket. I haven't owned a jacket since high school, so it's kind of a big deal. Mostly, I do NOT want to get to CO and bitch about being cold constantly. And I know that it will be an impossible urge to suppress because I thought I was dying when we got down to 46 degrees last year. I like this jacket, though. It's got some peacoat qualities, without screaming "fancy" at you.

Helped Jasmine move. It was actually a pretty short process (for me-- they have a bit to go yet). The most amazing part was transporting a fridge from the truck to her kitchen with 3 girls and NO RAMP ON THE TRUCK. I gave a get-pumped speech ahead of time, explaining that women are strong and that this will be a landmark of braggery if we can do it. And we did!!

On a POSSIBLY related note, I feel like I have bruises all over my body. On my legs they're visible, but it's possible that what I perceive to be bruises on my arms and shoulders are just muscle aches. I don't think this should have happened, not because I can boast about being in any sort of shape, but because I JUST moved WAY more stuff a few months ago and I felt golden at the end. Not even a whiff of back pain (still no back pain, which I find miraculous... almost sinfully amazing).

Watched:

Parenthood ep. 2. LOVED IT. I LOVE Jason Ritter on that show! I loved it so much that I had to go re-watch specific moments with Kevin over the phone. Bah! This will be my favorite series this season.

Free Agents pilot. I liked it. I'm torn because Hank Azaria can do some really wonderful nuanced faces and it makes him a GREAT, subtle leading man, but it also makes me feel like he's being wasted by being the straight character. I'm not sold on the Kathryn Hahn yet, although I remember her being great in How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I'll have to check out ep. 2.

2 Broke Girls pilot. The Kat Dennings character reminds me of Roseanne, which I WOULD love (I fucking LOVE Roseanne-- I don't even care) except that Roseanne had a family and a husband to support and there was a reason why she was so bitter. Kat is just being annoying. Mostly it was hokey and unless they give me SOMETHING I haven't seen or at least better disguise something I have seen, there's no reason to watch it. That said, it will probably fit in with the other CBS sitcoms wonderfully.

Up All Night ep. 2. Great. Still funny. Will Arnett had a little theme about ironic things that I HOPE was just for this episode. Also, the plot line in general is one that I don't usually see. And I saw more Cannon this time, but it was sparse yet again, and not annoying.

The Office season premiere. I'm blind with The Office. I cannot give an unbiased opinion. I thought it was good. Pam is pregs again. James Spader's name is now officially in my personal actor catalogue.

Whitney pilot. Didn't love it. Mostly because I don't need to watch a show about a neurotic, annoying white woman. I see them all the time in really life and that's not the kind of humor I want to encourage women to have. Kristen Wiig please. Kristen Wiig/ Tina Fey humor please. Also, while I don't monumentally despise laugh tracks, at the beginning of this show it was really uncomfortable because the jokes weren't very funny.

Run Down

Last weekend of housesitting. Wednesday is my last day. I'm so relieved, even though it's been great. ESPECIALLY my visitor, who has been magical and inspiring and everything I'd hoped. It's a terrible tragedy that I can't think of anything to write about it that doesn't seem too personal.

Corina and I decided to really dig into nesting in our apartment. Our schedules are crazy though, so we had to book time in advance. October 9- Nesting. We're getting some rugs and HOPEFULLY some sort of table that you can eat at. We're also getting a free TV this weekend. Sweet.

I'm helping Jasmine move this weekend, probably due to my addiction to moving.

Reading The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. It's a preaching-to-the-choir scenario. I'll probably stop as soon as either The Hunger Games arrives in the mail (courtesy of the ever-wonderful Katherine) or Zel comes in the mail ($4 ($0.01 without shipping) impulse buy). Hopefully The Hunger Games comes first because I'm in the mood for an addictive series (hence the Twilight explosion I recently had).

I went to the Hot in Cleveland taping. It was INCREDIBLE. Mostly because when I got there, I suddenly remembered how fucking HARD I wanted to watch a sitcom being filmed only a few years ago when I thought it would never ever happen. I'd watch the special features on my Friends DVDs and dream of getting to see that experience in person. And not only did I get to see the taping, but I got to be back stage! 15 feet (truthful best approximation) away from Betty White! Talking to her manager. Eating their shrimp cocktail and guacamole! While normally such situations would make me vastly uncomfortable because I don't have anyone to talk to, in that instance, I was overjoyed to just stand and observe silently. Forever. It was a real happy-gasm.

Things that are relevant to me:

-Jon Stewart is on the cover of Rolling Stone. I bought it. I'm not finished with the article yet. I will put it on our coffee table next to the Bob Dylan issue of Rolling Stone, thus making it the most entertaining coffee table ever (for a niche audience of one...).

-The new season of The Office premiered yesterday. I didn't watch it because I didn't want to wait until 9pm, so I Tivoed it and will watch it tonight. Jenna Fischer is CRAZY pregnant and she said something about her story arc and I wasn't sure if she was kidding or not. Very curious.

-On a related note, Whitney also premiered after The Office yesterday. I Tivoed that as well.

-On another related note, it is a small tragedy that Steve Carrell never got an Emmy for The Office. I think it's because he made it look effortless.

Pilots, mostly

I'm having a lotion obsession. Not just because of my $40 explosion at Bath and Body Works (one tube is nearly empty already. And I'm using two at a time!!), but also because my boss gave me a goody bag from some event that had bajillions of lotions in them. Lotion for your eyes, for the end of the day on your face, for the morning on your face, for you neck and chest. I already used to use face lotion, but this is a 12 minute regime (I haven't actually timed it so that's an approximation). So far, other than being uncomfortable when I'm not at least 50% moist, I haven't noticed much difference. Well, I also can't stop petting the bridge of my nose... it's so damn soft!! Mostly I'm impressed that I'm enjoying the routine. It didn't seem like something that would last, but I was just as surprised when I enjoyed regular blogging... a mere 8 years ago.

I may at least have to have the CONVERSATION regarding getting cable. Spending all of my spare time in cable-d houses has illuminated the possibility that it's irresponsible for me, being in this business, to not have cable. Mostly because even though I've been hearing about the same pilots for months and months and months, it wasn't until, for example, I saw the trailer for Ringer on TV that I was even REMOTELY interested. This is 100% because I realized that Ioan Gruffudd is in it. And I would never have known that without the trailers because I didn't formerly know his name. I was just in love with the "is there anyone alive out there!?" guy from Titanic.

Point #2 is that I WILL gravitate towards The Daily Show when I have cable at LEAST twice a week, if not all four times. And that makes me much more aware of the current world around me. Sure, I can watch the trailers and The Daily Show online, but at this moment, I never do. That's why I want to DISCUSS getting cable.

Anyway, because of the cable, I did watch a couple of pilots.

1. New Girl (aka the Zooey Deschanel one). Shmena, but I'm POSITIVE that no real opinion can be made from this pilot. It was super scattered, but it had potential. It could absolutely go either way.

2. Up All Night (Christina Applegate, Will Arnett, Maya Rudolph, Jennifer Hall, Nick Cannon) - I had the pleasure of watch the first cut of this pilot, as well as the final version. The changes included adding Nick Cannon, which needless to say seemed super ominous. It's actually super great though. The Cannon was sparse and Christina and Will and Maya are very human, HILARIOUS characters. This will fly, absolutely. Highly recommend.

3. Ringer (Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ioan Gruffudd) - Not my cup of tea, really. I might catch the next episode, but it's 0% funny so I just can't care that hard. Plus, the green screen moments are really really obvious. Also, Sarah has Elizabeth Harnois/Vampire syndrome. Does. Not. Age.

Pilots I'm interested in:

1. Free Agents (Hank Azaria) - I didn't pay much attention to this one and thus thought that this was about police agents. Nay. It's like... PR or something and it seems funny.

2. Two Broke Girls (Kat Dennings, Beth Behrs) - I kind of doubt I'm going to like this, but I really REALLY love Kat Dennings so I'm willing to try. Although I must say that the waitress outfit that she wears in the trailers is pretty unflattering to her.

3. Whitney - (Whitney Cummings) The trailer was funny but it may fall into a weird place in terms of her being a crazy wife-ish character.

Pilots I'm not really interested in:

1. Apartment 23 - I don't think Krysten Ritter can carry a show and I'm not liking the premise.

2. Last Man Standing (Tim Allen) - Seems like another Home Improvement. They kept emphasizing gender roles and how Tim Allen likes man things. Not an issue I struggle with or relate to... at least not as told by an old man in a sitcom. Plus, in the trailer he punctuated someone else's statement with "and beyond" in a Lightyear voice, which highlighted the hokey-ness.

3. I Hate My Teenage Daughter (Jamie Presley)- Instantly made me think of Reba, probs because of the accent. Also, the daughters are outrageously one-dimensional and the mom's are pathetic.

4. Good Christian Belles (Kristen Chenowith)- Probs going to be a Cougar Town kind of show, which is fine but just not for me. Also, it used to be called Good Christian Bitches, which sounds funnier to me (although I'd probably still not watch it).

Pilots I'm morbidly curious about:

1. Pan Am (Christina Ricci) - Obviously Christina hasn't done anything good since she was peaking in puberty, but I like Kelli Garner's face. It's probably not going to be funny enough and it might just be gratuitous hour (or half hour-- I'm not interested in looking up the length yet) of pretty women in stewardess outfits. Either way, I'm going to catch at least one episode of the Ricci.

And now just to brag, I got to go to the premiere of Chillerama at the Hollywood Cemetery last night. That will be the other thing I take people to when they visit along with Hamburger Mary's bingo. It's in the least scary cemetery ever that has gravestones of famous people with their faces on it. And then you sit in the grass with your picnic and wine and watch the movie outside (although I got a seat because I was in the VIP section (brag brag brag)). It was the campiest horror movie ever and it was fucking HILARIOUS. Intentionally hilarious. It was 3 movies together and just to give you an idea, they were call "Wadzilla" (about a killer sperm), "Wearbears" (about gay guys that turn into bears with leather chaps and eat people when they're turned on-- set in a 60s beach movie setting) and "The Diary of Anne Frankenstein" (about Hitler making a Frankenstein-esque monster out of Jews--he obviously gets super killed by it).

:::::SPOILER:::::

And it ends in an EXTREMELY graphic zombie orgy.

:::::END SPOILER:::::

You'd think it would be difficult to watch next to my boss and two of our clients, but it wasn't. Hilarious!

Today I get to go an see a taping of Hot in Cleveland. That's the last of my bragging.

Normal

This was a fair weekend. I got some groceries, did some laundry, got some books from the library (I wanted The Hunger Games but all like... 16 copies are out. That's what I get for waiting until the movie trailer is out. I ended up getting The God Delusion and some book by FLB that has a crappy cover and I therefore probably won't read it.)

I heard some EXCELLENT stories this weekend, but they're all too personal to share online. I nearly exploded and ended up driving home to vomit all of my information upon Corina under the pretense of using my favorite gas station and picking up mail. I cannot stress enough how obsessed with Corina I am. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL SEPTEMBER IS OVER AND I CAN GO HOME AGAIN! Even though do I enjoy housesitting...

True Blood and Wilfred are over for the season. The silver lining is that The Office, 30 Rock and Parenthood will be returning soon. Plus, I never actually watched this season of Weeds so that can feed me during the gap.

I'm probably going to have a visitor stay with me for a little while this week and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get my pants inspired right off! I'm kind of exhausted by the prospect, but ultimately that would be a great thing.

Proud Weekend (Although I Have Low Standards)

Switched over to my third and final housesitting house. No big thing.

In other news, I had a unusually social weekend.

1. I hung out with my high school friend Darri and her friend Wallis. That was glorious. I forgot that people are only hard to meet if they're older and/or super accomplished. Also, I had two glasses of wine which provoked me to spill into a long, passionate tangent about how much I love LA (with a subcategory of movies). It was nice because I forgot that I still really feel pumped about this place. It's hard to find your passion when your life involves monotony at the same desk (I'm not complaining, but it would be denial if I claimed that I'm riveted every day).

2. I spent the following day talking to my mom, and the evening hanging out with Corina and Spiegs, who visited from San Francisco with encouraging tales of success. We capped the day at a bar with Corina's work friends. I actually had WAY more fun than I would have expected.

3. The next day we went to Venice beach. I performed an act of daring (I'm not willing to share the details online, so if you could just assume the coolest thing that comes to mind, that would be great), that made me feel like a superhero for the day. I also got a LOT of incense for $3. Like... 60 sticks. It was awesome, although I lament that I don't think any of the scents are as good as the one I currently have. We'll see.

4. Then we went to Hamburger Mary's for bingo, followed by karaoke. We all performed separately and then as a group. I've never done karaoke in front of strangers before and I'm sorry to report that it was mostly unpleasant because my words weren't lined up with the tune by a LOT. I'm the only one this happened to. I pulled it together by the last verse and the audience was very nice and supportive, but it was still a little disappointing. However, then Corina went up doing an Ace of Base song and was killer and Spiegs did an excellent Lady Gaga (I did "You Know That I'm No Good" by Winehouse). Then we all sang "Say My Name" which was prudent since it was Beyoncé's birthday. During "Say My Name," one of the drag queens humped my leg for a while, before crawling across the stage and touching herself. It was magical.

5. I spent Labor Day monday PRIMARILY doing nothing. But last night I went to a birthday party smash! It was Scottish themed (the birthday girl is Scottish) and it was in a warehouse and there was a bubble machine and you could draw on the floor with chalk and you could get your face painted and you could sketch your profile on a banner and there was a photographer and confetti and pizza and beer and cake. There were speeches and a poem and a song. It was super sweet and it was lovely to see my friends. I left by 10:30pm though, because I'm weak. And also because a lot a LOT of older and very accomplished people were there and I, thus, had a hard time being breezy.

Just a couple more things:

1. True Blood season finale on Sunday. BAAAAH!!

2. Watched Untamed Heart with Christian Slater and Marisa Tomei to continue on with the pending Slater obsession. Dreck. It was FAR to cheesy. I valiantly tried to suspend belief and enjoy it for what it was for the first 50 minutes, but I couldn't stop rolling my eyes. Bummer.

3. Splurged and bought $40 worth of lotion from Bath and Body Works. I don't even care. I'm so happy about this!

4. I also got many pairs of sneakers in the mail from Sarah (my guardian angel, ESPECIALLY in shoe related situations) and I bought some shoes for work. My shoe collection more than DOUBLED this weekend.

5. Also, my aunt sent me another care package which included a pizza stone and pizza dough mix. We also got some cake mixes and sangria mix!!

Guilty Pleasures and Christian Slater

At this moment, I kind of feel like all of my relationships are attacking me at once! In a good way, certainly. Some are out of town visitors and many are local and I'm pretty committed to every one of them. It's complicated with housesitting since I can't reasonably make any weekday meals before 9pm. Champagne problems.

I finally got around to watching True Romance with Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette (And Gary Oldman, Samuel L. Jackson, Brad Pitt, and ALLEGEDLY Val Kilmer, although I didn't see him (VERY unlike me)). It was a real treat (Claire)!! Onto my next Slater movie (realized this weekend that Christian Slater is the voice of the red haired fairy in Fern Gully. While verifying this information on imdb, I learned that Tim Curry is Hexxus!)

Due to circumstances I consider to be beyond my control, I accidentally read Twilight AGAIN. The circumstance was that it was sitting on the table, looking so pristine. And I wasn't in the mood to continue reading the Russell Brand. I read the first and last 70 pages of the second book, skipped the third book entirely, and am near finished the last one (aka(in my brain): the one with the banging...). I'm not recommending it. I'm not even going to try to convince you of the secret genius like Dawson's Creek. It just plucks at my lady strings in a horribly aggravating, but more horribly irresistible way.

Realized today that I have a long weekend!!

Thoughts

One of the dogs that I'm housesitting for has a little laceration on her foot and has to wear a cone, except when we're on a walk or when I feed her. This beautiful dog is so wonderful that despite the fact that the cone annoys her (bumping into walls, carefully aiming her face into the water supply, etc) and she casually tries to get it off, every time I go to put it back on her, she goes right in. Sometimes she'll move her head around lazily as if to subtly say "I'd rather not, really. (Sigh) Well, okay." It breaks my heart in HALF! It's like when someone's sick and they act like a war victim and you're just like "shut the fuck up! It's not THAT bad." But when someone is visibly sick and they don't bitch and they mask their struggle, I want to spoon feed them soup and rub their head and hum soothingly until they fall asleep.

I'm STRONGLY considering getting an ipod. I am pretty financially stable, and I think an ipod would improve the quality of my life. I considered calling my mom to double check that this is the right choice, but then I remembered that I'm an adult(ish). I don't know why I even considered it, but I guess in my mind buying an ipod seems like a big-money choice that I shouldn't make without consultation... like a car or something. But really, it's like buying a week of groceries if you were going to have a party on Friday... (the one I want is $167 -- I will have to double check that this is something I can buy used. I'm pretty sure it's fine)

I watched Flipped (directed by Rob Reiner). Lame. I know they were trying to do a Stand By Me/Now and Then situation -- young 50s/60s love from both perspectives and the main boy was CUTE (even though I think he's like... 15), but it was inCREDIBLY cliche. Almost unwatchably cliche.

This weekend I rewatched Finding Neverland. I own it but until Friday I had only seen it once and remembered not LOVING it. So I decided to play the sims and put in on, but about 15 minutes in, I realized I would have to give the movie my full attention. Johnny Depp does an EXCELLENT Scottish accent (at least in my ears) and he and Winslet are wonderful. Also, the boy who plays Peter (August Rush, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) was MUCH better than I remembered. There was something I didn't like, though. I think it was how blatant some of the moments were. Everyone was forgiven. No one was angry. There were sound-bite phrases of advice that contained the word "dreams" too often. I didn't hate it and I've been CRAVING to see it again since. I will further explore.

Also, I promptly bought the book Peter Pan, which really is INCREDIBLE. It's MUCH cooler than you might think. Then I fantasized about aging with an obsession with Peter Pan... having collectible editions etc. But I'm pretty sure I couldn't become that person. If I have a copy of the book, I don't think I'd ever care to have ANOTHER copy of it. But I could see myself absorbing incarnations of the story. Disney Peter Pan (have), Peter Pan (2003) (have), book (have), Hook (have), Finding Neverland (have) . I don't have the broadway version because the lady in the one I've seen scares me (in a purely superficial way and I'm ashamed. She's really... muscular). The Mary Martin version (don't have, and only vaguely remember). Biographies on J.M. Barrie. We'll see. I couldn't read Peter Pan in Scarlett. It will need to come HIGHLY recommended for me to dive into that. I have zero faith.

After I finished my Peter Pan extravaganza, I ended up staying up WAAAY past my bedtime (this is now rare) and was forced to rise at 8am because my next housesitting job forgot to lock the door when they left and were paranoid. When I got to the house, I was pretty awake, but feeling the shakiness of 3 hours of sleep. I ended up rewatching A Simple Twist of Fate (Steve Martin) and crying for like... the whole thing. It's not even a SUPER sad movie. A little sad, but certainly not worth the dehydration it caused. You always feel a movie harder when you have a touch of exhaustion. If it's time for your monthlies, even better.

This Post Took Me 3 Days to Write

Every day when I look at my blog (yes, every day), I'm infuriated that I let my last two entries be dream descriptions. Even I don't want to read them. Even III don't want to read them! Must remember!

ANYWAY, the main news is that as of last Friday (a week ago), I am COMPLETELY, back to back booked with housesitting until the end of SEPTEMBER!!!

Pros (3 different places, but these apply to all):

-get to live with dogs

-cable

-closer to work

-laundry (I may or may not have brought my actual sheets from home to launder at someone else's house)

-can loudly sing because neighbors can't ever hear (the only advantage of house ownership that I actively envy)

Cons (I guess it's complaining-- but only MIIIIIIIILDLY):

-Now that I LOVE my home, instead of experiencing the glory of being out of my annoying house, I experience frustration with things I have at my house that I either didn't think to bring or felt was inconvenient to bring (ie: lotion that doesn't close properly, pot stickers, popsicles etc).

-Different dog schedules can be MILDLY annoying. Some, for instance, wake me up earlier than I'd prefer.

-In many cases, I have no internet access and limited phone service. As I always say, this is bittersweet. I would say I peaked in bitterness last time when I couldn't figure out how to order a pizza without internet. I miraculously found a phone book, but without google maps, I couldn't tell which places were within a 3 mile radius (that's the pizza radius, right?). I never succeeded on this mission.

-Since all of this is more long term, I have to find an ideal grocery store and gas station.

-Fish arrangements (ie: the reason ALL pets are inconvenient)

In other news, I watched several episodes of Melissa and Joey a couple of nights ago. It's actually a real treat. I feel completely nostalgic, but the references are current. This is the joy of cable-- there is no way I'd go through the trouble to find Melissa and Joey online, but I'll take it if it's in front of my face.

Part 1 of my bridesmaid dress came in the mail. Now I know the fabric and what it will look like (I saw a picture before, but it was on my cell phone and it was a picture from the magazine). Also, I started fantasizing about my speech... assuming I get to do a speech...

I got an awesome gift for my sister Indigo. I'm bringing in the bucks and feel confident about my financial ability to rent a car.

Things to do:

1. Talk to my dad about the arrangements. Mostly ask him if I can stay with him.

2. Actually buy tickets and reserve car.

3. I'm pretty sure I can get this other REALLY awesome thing for my sister, if only I have the balls to ask.

Got $25 to Amazon from my bank!

I'm feeling pretty good. Although housesitting for so long makes feel like you can't really plan. Like... I CAN go to the beach but I can't leave the dogs for more than 5 hours. Not that I ever go anyway, but I can't plan on it. I don't know, it makes me feel my mortality. 1/6 of the year has past since I turned 23. 1/3 by the time I finish housesitting. Bah bah bah.

But mostly money!

Another Dream

ANOTHER night of vivid dreams.

Part 1. I think there was a whole story line about staying at someones house where we had to care for an unidentified old man... but I don't really remember. But then my mom took like... 20 different decks of cards that I guess had sentimental value to me, and stacked them, loose, on a piece of cardboard and then set it afloat in a lake. I was furious because there was no way I was going to get all of my cards back, but when I went into the water, there were all of these people there and it turned out to be a Stephen Colbert performance for my birthday.

Part 2. I was in a hospital/grocery store. People were shopping in the really cramped grocery store but there were also people in hospital gowns by the elevator. I was shopping with my cart, but had a really hard time getting passed the people. I abandoned my cart and went to the vending machine where the boy I went on a date with a few months ago was. He said "hi" to me, but I couldn't remember his name and I felt bad. Then I saw my friend Saralyn, but she seemed harder and angrier than usual. She said she was irritated by west coast people, and I deduced that she had just visited upstate New York (where she's from) and had been hardened by it.

Part 3. I'm by a pool at either sunrise or sunset and I see spilt kidney beans on the bottom of the pool. I'm trying to decide if someone threw up, or just spilled beans, but as I continue to stare, they become a shining, golden color. It gets completely dark and the dark water near the golden part starts swirling and it's impossible for me to take my eyes away. I think I'm being hypnotized. Then I wake up.

Some dreams

All money procured! PLUS, and I don't want to count my eggs before they've hatched, I got ANOTHER housesitting gig for 2 weeks. Elation. I'm buying new clothes this weekend. It's happening. It's been a full year since I bought clothes that weren't emergency clothes. I will not feel guilty.

Going to dinner with a college friend tonight (Elisa). She asked to go to my favorite restaurant and thus I had to decide what my favorite restaurant is. I finally landed on Granville. Now it's official, I guess.

I had two nights of memorable dreams. I do know that no one cares about dreams except the person who had the dream, so this is for posterity.

The first was a sexy-ish dream with Josh Meyers (8th season of That 70s Show. I don't care. I love that character (also brother of Seth Meyers)). Although I was competing with two other women for his attentions, which was frustrating. I'm pretty sure I woke up winning.

Last night I had a dream that 3 people died. The first one was like... a chef or someone that I didn't know. The second one was an autistic boy named Bob from high school. The third one was Elena (my friend and former roommate). I had to get rid of all of the bodies (although I don't specifically remember the first two). I hadn't killed any of these people, and they were already pre-bagged in my room. I wasn't doing something wrong, but I was trying to avoid people because I didn't want to talk about it. With Elena, I already knew the drill. I just had to get her downstairs and to the water. Everyone was in the cafeteria on the first floor eating lunch and they asked me to join and I told them I would soon. I definitely had a half hour lunch and continuously looked at my watch, although I don't recall it ever moving (the big hand was always on the 3, so I always had 15 minutes to go). I dragged Elena, in a white plastic bag, out of my room (which was white, and hotel-like) and to the elevator without meeting anyone. However, on my way outside, I ran into either Mandy or Ali (twins from high school) (I think they kept changing throughout the dream) and when they started talking I fell to my knees, sobbing and choking over Elena. Then I woke up.

Meaningless Accomplishments

This weekend was one of meaningless accomplishments (I may be the only one who cares...):

1. Finished my book, This Much I Know Is True by Wally Lamb. It was excellent. Afterwards, I tried to look through the other books that I mysteriously own and found that ALL of those books are schizophrenia-related. One novel (the one I read) and two medical-y books. Naturally, I started having elaborate fantasies about myself being schizophrenic and my alter ego buying these books to prepare me for when my regular self learns about my illness. Although, by reading the Wally Lamb book, I know that that isn't how schizophrenia works. The fantasies, none-the-less, persist.

2. Started arranging "Head Over Heels" for Corina and my (so far fictional) a cappella group. It wasn't monumental progress, but breaking ground is the most important step.

3. Bought a new string for my favorite necklace. Again, not huge, but it's been months and months since the moment I decided the string was too frayed to risk wearing and the moment I got the new string. Considered buying a coloring book AGAIN, but suppressed the urge and instead...

4. Tried to paint again. I've been working on this same damn Bob Dylan/Suze Rotolo painting for probably a year. More than. Maybe two years. Every time I work on it it looks like I've done nothing. I'm thinking of abandoning it and/or starting a new painting to get reinvigorated and going back to this one in time. I feel like it's when you're reading a boring-ish book and you don't want to start a new book until you've completed said book. And then you end up not reading for like... 3 months straight. I should just do a face. This painting I'm doing now has too much scenery for me. I'm a much lazier painter than this.

5. Watched the movie Unmade Beds. It's not REALLY an accomplishment, but I enjoyed it. I feel like Natalya would really like it and intend to recommend it to her next time we speak.

6. Finally watched the finale of season 4 of Skins (UK). I had some sort of block against that last episode and halted Corina and my progress for several months. 4-6 months, I would guess. It was a pretty disappointing episode, but at least we got through it. I don't even know why I refused to watch it for so long.

7. Watched a couple of old episodes of Bored to Death. It was pretty good. They were 3 "for your consideration" episodes from a year or two ago. One episode had Jenny Slate from the abortion rom-com "Obvious Child." If you haven't seen it, I HIGHLY recommend. I've seen it like... 4 times and I just LOVE it. And thus love her (you may also know her as the recent SNL addition who said "fuck" on her first episode-- I'm not sure if she's still a cast member and don't care enough to check). I don't like Bored to Death enough to recommend, but I would watch it if I had cable and nothing else to watch.

If you want something to watch, go with Wilfred!! Hulu. I already list it in my short list of shows I actually watch, which is huge (only in my mind). Also, I may accidentally going through movies looking for Elijah Wood, who I'm accidentally in love with (I do know what "accidentally" means). I will not watch Lord of the Rings and I'll DEFINITELY not watch Everything is Illuminated again. Puh!

8. Taught Corina to play gin. In the moment, I felt like I'd never been more excited in my life. I LOVE playing cards and have often fantasized about roommates who will at least indulge me. Corina seems to like it and won the first game 124 to 4. Terrible with the trash talk, though. My grandpa would be disappointed with her on that. Or teach her REAL quick how to effectively criticize a cut of the deck or prophecize incredible failure.

9. Asked my boss for the Monday after the wedding off. That trip will be a real adventure. My grandma is making a dress-prototype out of muslin. I'm going to try and get an autographed headshot of my sister's favorite actress that I happen to know. Figure out where I'm staying. If I'm getting a rental car.

And it will mark the first time I've stepped out of California in almost 2 years. I never went this long without leaving Boston. I'm not sure I ever went this long without leaving Pennsylvania. Crazy. But slightly irrelevant, I guess.

Feeding my fish has become a lesson in patience. One of the fish will gobble everything up on sight (Chair Beverage), but the other fish will hold a piece of food in her mouth and swim around with it for a while before finally eating it (Ladder Phoenix). Thus, I have to wait until Ladder eats her food before I can put more in the bowl. Otherwise, Chair will eat like... 5x more food than Ladder. The fact that I'm willing to do this--NOT let Darwinism inflict it's wrath upon Ladder-- shows that I'm growing, surely.

Bills, Books, Movies

Sometimes when I haven't written a post in a while, they come out super super crappy. I just deleted 3 separate drafts from the past week that I was forced to abandon because even I'M not interested in reading them (and I think it goes without saying (saying it) that I'm my own biggest fan...). So let's just see where this goes... (under-hyping).

My first bills started a-rolling in. $11 for electricity. Sounds good, but I'm concerned that it was only for a 21 day period. I guess it's fine, but I may unplug our TV during disuse and see what happens (I think I've counted 3 total times that we've used the TV. And we've only watched movies). Gas bill was an alarming $55 but it turns out, they added $25 for set up and $20 deposit, and then tax. So our actual bill was somewhere around $7-$8. Golden. Internet was, I surmise, $30. ANYWAY, it's for posterity. I used to list the details of my homework, remember? I can list bill details... ...

If all goes right, I will have made $1025 extra monies this month, which is huge!! None of that money is in my hands, but all the work has been done, so I think we're solid. I keep bragging about it because--and I hope I'm right about this--I am young and poor enough to not seem tactless. I'm dreaming about all of the things I can do with so much money! Pay my grandpa back! Get a new muffler! Get new clothes or maybe even a pair of shoes! Change my plates! Buy tickets to Colorado for the wedding! Turns out, I need more money... La-ame.

I'm reading a book called I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb. I have no idea why this book is in my possession. I found it during the moving process and can only assume I accidentally stole it from someone. Because I knew I wouldn't be willing to travel back to Burbank regularly, or find a library close by for the next several weeks (accurate prediction), I took a look at the book, saw it was an NY Times bestseller and didn't appear to be a mystery or biography of someone I've never heard of, and decided to dive right in.

GREAT choice. I'm really really enjoying it. Unfortunately, it's 900 pages long and not a recognizable title at all. What I'm saying is, I will never be able to share this book with anyone else. I will never be able to convince someone that IIII know to pick up a 900 page novel about a man and his schizophrenic identical twin. I feel so alone, like people I know who DON'T only read 12-20 books a year (and let's be real, half of those books I read I've read before (and half of THOSE are Harry Potter...)). People who REGULARLY read books that they can never talk about. But it is a real joy.

Discovered the miracle of frozen pot stickers.

Am strongly considering trying for a THIRD TIME to see Midnight in Paris tonight. I haven't decided if I'd rather eat soup and read. It's a tough call. I could ALSO go and see The Beginners with Ewan McGregor. I like the look of The Beginners more, but my gut tells me that Midnight in Paris is going to be a more moving experience. I'm seduced by it's popularity and mysteriousness. What is that movie about?? Regardless, I'm not inviting anyone. I maintain that movies are better to watch alone. ESPECIALLY in the theater. I haven't really said it so bluntly before, because I don't want people to stop inviting me to movies, but here is why it's better solo:

1. Impromptu. I like to decide at that moment, "I am going to see this movie NOW." Then I just go to the theater, get the next ticket, wait around if it's required, and enjoy the exact film I wanted at the exact time I wanted to see it. If I have to plan it, then maybe I'm not in the mood for that film on the actual day. I'm not saying it's the WORST to go to a movie when maybe you'd prefer a different movie or no movie at all. I'm just saying, impromptu is better.

2. No compromise.

In nearly all aspects of my life, I feel like I don't have a preference. Where are we going to eat? What is the itinerary for the day? Where do you want to sleep? I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. I've thought about it a lot, and I don't think I'm a pushover, per sé. I just get VERY uncomfortable when I can see that the person I'm with is visibly disappointed. When the person I'm with VISIBLY wanted burgers and we got Indian because they asked me what I want, THAT is what affects me. Not the food I'm eating.

Anyway, the point is that, in my narcissistic self-observation, I've noticed that the one opinion I DO have is on movies. And I can't help but be internally pissy if we're going to see a movie that doesn't seem worth $12.50 to me. I don't care if someone else is disappointed. On the subject of movies, my disappointment weighs in stronger than anyone else's on my care-o-meter.

(I believe this correlates to why if someone recommends a film to me, I will most likely take 6 months to watch it. How I spend my movie time is MY decision, with few exceptions.)

(note: I have to admit, though, that sometimes I will be internally pissy about a movie, only to come out being extremely grateful that someone dragged me.)

So... I think I've made it clear that I don't like to compromise with movies...

3. I can take the time to absorb the movie.

Not ALL movies need to be absorbed, but a lot do. And when I'm absorbing, I don't want to talk. The reason is, I don't like the pressure of stating an opinion that I haven't thought through, because then I have to back track later, or WORSE, I start to believe this spur-of-the-moment opinion is my ACTUAL opinion and then I have to defend it for life. Or until I watch the movie again and realize that I was being too harsh or too... praise-ful.

Anyway. Despite this, don't stop inviting me to movies. I do ALWAYS enjoy movies.

End.