Perfect Casting

Couldn't I totally be in My So-Called Life when I was three? I'm pretty sure that's the perfect wardrobe. I'm even making a relatively angst-y face. I flatter myself...

BTW, facebook is LAME for not letting me just TAKE photos from other people's profiles (my dad's). I can still get them, facebook! It's just more of a bitch...

Details

I failed to mention that ALSO in my dream last night, I went to the grocery store and Taj Mowry (Smart Guy) and Walter Jones (of Brink and Power Ranger fame) were putting their heads in a cardboard cut out and being photographed for some sort of advertisement. That's probably because I saw Jackée Harry (the mom in Sister, Sister) at the grocery store a few days ago in real life.

I saw Insidious last night and a Q&A with the director and writer and Lin Shaye. I thought it was great and scary, although I am a wimp and find most scary movies scary. In the Q&A though, my favorite part was when the writer was talking about when he was writing Saw (they wrote and directed Saw too...) and he was so excited about the jaw trap scene so he called the director right away.

James Wan (director): Mmmm that's great. If we add a creepy doll it will be perfect.

Leigh Whannell (writer): ... okay... but how are we going to bring a creepy doll in the picture?

James Wan: ... He'll just ride in on a tricycle (obviously...).

It was really funny to me.

SEE INSIDIOUS!

Also, I recommend listening to the new Adele album, which is incredible. I had "Rolling in the Deep" stuck in my head all day yesterday.

I've been playing the Sims again recently. I'm really excited about this family because I got some new hair, so the woman looks like Nicole Kidman and the guy looks like John Krasinsky from the first season of the Office. Someday I'm going to actually make sims that have flaws.

Dreams

I've been having vivid dreams recently.

A few nights ago I dreamt that I was in what I thought was Bill Maher's office/loft apartment. It was kind of designed like a sushi bar with the bar area and then low tables on the other side, although it did not have Japanese decor. So I'm sitting at a table with Bill Maher and possibly Devon Gummersall from MSCL and we're all leaning in close to each other and then Bill Maher tells me that I have terrible breath! I'm horrified. He gives me half a slice of Big Red gum, torn (not broken) long ways. Then Devon (or whoever) leaves and I'm making conversation with Bill and I ask him how it is working in the same place that he lives. He looks annoyed and tells me that this is just his office.

Then last night I had a dream where I was at Christmas Eve at my cousins house I guess, and I go to the bathroom and it has four stalls and they're all super super disgusting. Then I leave the bathroom and go into a room where there is shrimp cocktail. My step dad and his brother are screaming at each other and I'm scared and don't want to get into the line of fire, so I grab two shrimps and book it. Then I'm driving with my step dad on what I believe was the road to LAX airport, but we were going to see Black Swan. I told him that it was going to be an awkward movie for us to see together and he told me not to give anything away. When we get to the theater, I go straight to the bathroom, which was also gross, but not unusably gross like the one at my cousin's house.

I wake up in the middle of the night and have to use the bathroom, which is very strange for me. Actually, more accurately, I try to decide whether it's worth it to leave the comfort of my bed to go to the bathroom, but then realize that there was so much toilet in my dream, that I probably should go.

Danes in First Position

This weekend I took my first joy ride. What I mean by that is other than the day I took a drive by myself because it was my first time alone in the car (a ride I hardly considered joyful), this is the first time I ever took a drive with no specific destination. After the first 15 minutes of guilt (gas money, carbon emissions, that much closer to needing an oil change), it was quite glorious. Hard to say whether I learned too much, except that there are some VERY small towns in the mountains (which is possibly obvious).

Watched Temple Grandin. Claire Danes is now my favorite actress. No one was previously holding the title, nor does anyone hold the title of favorite actor in my head. Just Claire Danes, standing pretty at the top. Thus, after my two weeks of obsessive My So-Called Life, I rounded out with Temple Grandin, Shop Girl (I love that movie more and more and more every time I watch it), Stardust, and Romeo + Juliet. Turns out, my DVD collection is pretty perfect for a newfound Danes love. If I desire, I can also watch Igby Goes Down, Little Women, The Family Stone and... My So-Called Life again...

Snails

Achieved the goal of face lotion. Like... weeks ago.

The car now has two ailments. I even told my boss about it. One is a kind of stammer, which didn't used to scare me because it only happened when I was stalled at a light, but now it occasionally feels weird for the first few seconds after I start going again, and then it kind of like... zooms. It's disconcerting. Ailment two is that a light on my dashboard that says "break lamp" is currently lit red. I do not know what this means; I can't help but assume that it's not a "your car is working great!" reminder...

Everyone should see Insidious because I have a vested interest. It's supposed to be good. It stars Rose Byrne and Patrick Wilson (!). It's old school scary. Lin Shaye steals the third act. This is all I know.

I think I'm set with My So-Called Life. I can watch other things again. Whew.

I learned that when I pick up snail shells, the snails have not NECESSARILY left said shells. It seems I have snail shells littered around all areas in which I spend multiple hours. My desk, my car, my dresser. When Caroline and I hung out, she scoffed at my snail corpse, and upon looking at the body, it looked.... waaaay weirder than when I picked it up. Early today I looked inside the shell that I keep at my desk (I picked this up... possibly MONTHS ago) and I felt the inside and it was WET! So I took some toilet paper to dry it out but it started bubbling and convulsing!!! And when I removed the toilet paper, it looked just like I drew on it with a runny highlighter, which was weird. So hopefully I didn't do lasting damage to desk-snail. I obviously returned it to the outdoors, but I think I'll bring it home because I know where the snails live at my house.

Anyway, it was a good lesson because at the very least I now know that snails are made of highlighter.

"I'm crossing it out with a highlighter but it just keeps getting more important!"

Some Moments

I must stop watching My So-Called Life. Since last SATURDAY (and today is Monday), I have watched the full series TWICE and I have now gone back to re-watch select favorites. I know that eventually I'll stop... it's just hard to foresee a time when My So-Called Life isn't going to be the most stimulating choice at any given time.

I got to spend time with Caroline yesterday in hurricane-like weather. At one point, I was in an area where the cars on the side were submerged in water up to the frame. It's not Japan, I know. But it was pretty scary.

I also talked to my dad for a bit and he said something kind of miraculous. A while ago, I talked to Claire about how I felt like we've been in this stream for our whole lives-- we had a path and we worked hard because that's what we were supposed to do, and college was the same. But now I feel like we're in a lake and there is no direction and no one to even really give sound advice. Well I told my dad and he was like "I think you're still in the river. I just think this part of the river sucks." R-interesting...

An Unsatisfying Entry

I've been recently corresponding with my friend Sarah, whom I haven't really communicated with in quite a while. It's interesting the level of clarity you can get when you're summing up with someone who is important enough to know the truth. This is what I told her (altered slightly):

I think I just recently realized that life, even if you do it right*, isn't actually a whole lot of fun punctuated by some rough moments. It's actually a whole lot of blah, punctuated by fun and rough moments. I don't know why I didn't fully realize that before.

I don't want to get too gloomy, but I just think it's funny because... that's so obvious and I knew that on the surface, but what that really means just sunk in. It's like when you TRULY feel the meaning of a proverb or cliche. You always obviously knew it, but there's a moment when it really truly means something to you. It happens to me at least.

I'm probably a third through My So-Called Life again and I feel much better. Doing the re-watch DAYS after the initial viewing is so pleasant that I feel confident that I won't die from a lack of second season. It was formerly a concern.

I'm not satisfied with this entry, but it'll have to do.

*I couldn't bear to put RIGHT in quotes, but I'm acknowledging that there isn't a RIGHT way to do life.

Marion and Guillaume

I didn't know they (Marion Cotillard and Guillaume Canet) were having a baby! This is extremely pleasing to me!

As is this photo.

(Please don't take this post as a suggestion that I'm finished with My So-Called Life. I'M SUPER not... but I'm possibly headed for a full recovery.)

Still Accidentally Obsessing

The pain has not subsided. Can I just suspend the greater problems of the world and call this a terrible terrible tragedy, without regard to Japan or similar? It's terrible being so upset about something useless that actually happened 15 years ago. And it's a TV show. Are we all aware that I'm still talking about My So-Called Life?

Netflix has That '70s Show on instant watch, but I can't do it now. I just restarted My S0-Called Life again. You know when something filling your brain is so sacred that you can't interrupt it with mediocrity until you're absolutely finished with what you're focused on. That's why I couldn't bare to listen to anything but Bob Dylan for an entire month. Not a single other thing... except, I guess, music that inspired Bob Dylan. You can't follow up greatness. You just have to absorb it right into your body as much as you can.

I know I'm over-hyping the CRAP out of this show, except to me it just feels like I'm regular-hyping it.

My So-Called Life

My So-Called Life.

Every time I come across an amazing show, I believe it's my favorite instantly. After some time, I'll re-watch my former favorites and remember that those, too, are actually my favorites. But this is my FAVORITE! I watched a full 18 episodes since SATURDAY! I don't even care. I have one episode left and the grief keeps crashing upon me in waves throughout the day. Why? WHY!!? did it have to end?! If I can be completely honest, my eyes are welling up as I write this. My tears are cheap, but still...

Plus, Kevin and I sometimes discuss what movie is the MOST 90s movie, and we've come to an agreement that it's Clueless. But... Clueless doesn't even come CLOSE to the brilliant 90s-ness of My So-Called Life. The overalls, the baggy clothes, the crazy matching concepts, the jillions of braids and those plastic hair barrettes. Dark lipstick and walkmen with those cheap wire headphones. Landlines. Pop culture references that still mostly make sense. The abundance of "like" and "... or whatever"s. God, I love this show!

Why!? WHY?!! is tonight my last episode!!? BAH! The tears again. I need to pull it together.

Remember to Work on Set

GLORIOUS weekend. I wasn't sure how I would feel about spending my weekend on set now that I work all week. LOVED IT. Plus, it made me WAY more active on my time off during the weekend, taking form in the act of beginning to clean my room. Unfortunately, I only successfully conquered my closet (due to time constraints)... which made the rest of my room MUCH messier. C'est la vie. I now know where all my stuff is again. Hurrah!

The point is, I must make a continuous note to self that I NEED to try and work on set when I have a career. I love my boss. I'm grateful for my job. But I need to work on set. For my health (mental and otherwise).

I also bought some stuff for the first time in 1 jillion years (approx). Did I mention I got a raise? I got a RAISE!!!

- One pair of shoes from Payless. Important because my only pair of shoes (save sneakers, which I don't wear to work) had substantial holes in the bottom. As with nearly all of my shoes, I wore them to uselessness... and I'm proud.

- One portable CD player for $15. My ipod died months and months ago and I'm tired of the radio tunes. It was an excellent investment for the following reasons:

a) I needed new headphones which cost $10. Thus, I really only spent $5.

b) My drives feel SO MUCH FASTER! Important when you spend more than 2 hours in the car per day.

c) The lack of shock resistance (or whatever you call it... abundance of skippage?) makes me more aware of pot holes, which is good for my tires.

d) If I blast early Britney on my portable CD player, plugged into the fake cassette player to play out of my 1996 vehicle, talking on my internet-less cell phone, I'm basically in a time machine from 2001. Awesome.

-Batteries

-Pens

-Mouthwash

-Mat for my bathroom (very important. I didn't even realize what a blessing that could be. And I only spent $3.50. The little things...)

-Curtains - important for when I move due to a bleaching accident I had during an ant crisis. It was a mistake and I've learned. And now I pay the $10 price. Other casualties included the pants and shirt that I wore that day. Very sad. Not as terrible as the Great Shoe Accident of Early May. Never mind, never mind. Onto happier things...

Actually, no other things to discuss.

Not an Update Really

I want to see this:

http://www.myspace.com/everything/article/2011/02/22/exclusive-bad-teacher-trailer-premiere

I don't care. I really do.