Submerged

Submerged in the world of people.

Amanda's mom took Amanda, Joanna, and me out for dinner the other day. It was FANTASTIC and I'm pretty sure I could not have been more appreciative (unless I was a native in a third world country... but that, I believe, is implied). Now, I pretty much have money again, and I certainly will... and I don't have anxiety about food TOO much anymore. All of these things I was trying to hide for a bit (relatively unsuccessfully... but still, I didn't reveal, even here, the extent of the situation) because I didn't want to sound like I thought I didn't deserve what happened, and I didn't want to sound like I was begging or whining. It was bad but it was a good bad.

ANYWAY, now that I have money, I don't feel as inhibited about talking about the situation I was in for a couple of weeks. I didn't THINK I was talking about it TOO much, but I guess I must have because after dinner, Amanda's mom offered to buy me groceries!!! Some people are so lovely that I can't handle it at all. I declined because my stomach no longer takes precedence over my guilt, shame, and courtesy... something I can't say was true 10 days ago.

Look at the word vomit. Awful. But... it is MY blog! And I'm not begging anymore... I'm just, apparently, really pleased with myself.

Anyway, I'd gotten up at 8:45am, done my 6.4 miles of moving, and after dinner, at 10:30pm, I was about to kill myself with exhaustion. After so much decadence and flexible consciousness in the summer, my body was like "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!?!" So I went home, but unfortunately didn't sleep... until midnight when I HAD to because I still had a LOT of cleaning to do (All my fault, though. Can I stress this enough to not sound like I'm really whining? No? Sorry...)

So I woke up at 2am. I did laundry. Scrubbed down the kitchen and the bathroom and the bedroom. Threw away a shit-ton of stuff. It was intense... and not bad at all. Vanessa was supposed to come back around 6am and I finished everything around 5:30am. SOOOOO to kill some time, I did what I've become accustomed to doing... I assume out of solitude. I read ALOUD from my blog.... which I wouldn't even admit right here... but it's pretty important. Because I ASSUMED that Vanessa would call me when she got there... because what are the other options? She doesn't have a key. That's why had to wait for her.

WEEEELL instead, she came to the window, HEARD ME TALKING TO MYSELF, and shouted for me to come to the door. AT 6AM! HOW EMBARRASSING! My skin doesn't really have blushing capabilities, but I can guarantee if it did, this is when they would be utilized. Just to be clear, I don't really know Vanessa terribly well... at all. She didn't really say anything about it, for which I was very thankful. However, we ended up having a lovely chat for well over an hour, and at some point we were talking about living in the apartment and how there is a level of solitude that gets to be too much. She told me that she would get really lonely, and I told her that I wasn't getting LONELY so much as I started worrying that I was going crazy sometimes. And then I laughed and said "like how you caught me talking to myself at 6am just now!" And she looked and me and laughed and told me that she did hear me talking but she didn't make the connection that I was talking to myself. The weirdness hadn't even occurred to her. So... shot myself in the foot on that one.

That I came back to my south apartment at like... 8am or something, which was really comforting. I bet I'm more comfortable in this apartment than any other place in the world, which is good because I'm here now and sad because... of obvious reasons. Plus it was very cute making the trip to south because I had my plant... and you can't walk down the street with a plant and NOT be cute... in my humble opinion. Also, my plant has grown substantially since it arrived at the west apartment. It seems that the windowsill was optimum for jade-growing. I imagine my plant is sad to be in my south apartment where it has to struggle for survival... and certainly doesn't have the opportunity to thrive. C'est la vie.

Then I finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which was gold! Pure gold!! Honestly, I couldn't recommend it more because it's so good and also it's very short and thus not much of a commitment.

Then Amanda came over bearing GROCERIES!! Because APPARENTLY, without noticing, I DID word-vomit about food too much! What an amazingly generous woman (Amanda's mom... and Amanda, of course)! I think I'm going to write her an email to thank her personally since I didn't see her when Amanda delivered them. She got me a ton of pasta, SAUCE (which I could previously not afford), apples and bananas, frozen chicken, organic peanut butter, two heads of garlic, a loaf of wheat bread, and two boxes of Honey Bunches of Oats. Can you even believe it?! I'm floored by the generosity and kindness some people give me... especially when I did literally nothing to deserve it.

Then we went to get my meal plan (this was yesterday, to clarify). The dining hall starts today... but the GSU never ended... a fact that hadn't occurred to me until I got the meal plan. So basically I had a huge feast. It was AMAZING!! Two feasts in a row!!! I couldn't be more excited!!!!

Then I promptly passed out. There was no other option. And it was lovely.

At some point I put up SOME paintings so I wasn't looking at white walls. I also watched I Love You, Man. It was PRETTY good. I thought it was funny, but it wasn't earth shattering in any way. Plus, they use weird abbreviations and awkward nicknames and stuff a LOT in the whole movie... which was good because it showed the level of awkwardness. BUUUUUT it started to be really painful. Every time it happened, it make me NOT in love with either of them. Not that you're necessarily supposed to fall in love with them... but... I think it would have helped. In summation: I would be more likely, for better or worse, to watch a comedy like that if I was in love with any of the lead characters, and because of a useful technique they used to show awkwardness, I couldn't be in love with them because I felt too strange about the language. That isn't an official review of whether it was good or bad as a movie. It's just how I feel it will be held in my own memory.

This morning I got my stored stuff from storeurdorm. It was VERY prompt. My window of delivery was noon to 2pm and my stuff came at like... 11:59am! Amazing! And they brought the stuff right to my room and everything. Very lovely. And I WOULD give them an excellent review, except that my TV is broken.

!!

I was pretty upset about it, because the screen isn't cracked, but it definitely isn't watchable. I honestly have no idea how it could have happened because the TV was in it's box with the original packing styrofoam. The point is that even if I called storeurdorm, they will only give me $100... which doesn't even pay for half of the TV. BUUUUT miraculously, Elena thought of the warranty. And the manufacturers DO give you a warranty for up to 1 year. And I bought my TV on September 4th!!!! Isn't that LUCKY!!?

I still didn't really believe they were going to fix it, especially since I didn't have the receipt, but it gave me hope. So I called the Best Buy people and they tell me to take it into the store. Although I DIDN'T need a receipt... because of the miracle of computers. I think they got my receipt just from my phone number. If that isn't a miracle, I don't know what is! But I also had the box and all the papers for it. I don't know if that helped, but it certainly didn't hurt.

So I took it into the store and they told me the manufacturers would still handle it and they shipped it out! So... MIRACLE!! I'll still only believe I will finish this business with a fully functioning TV when I see it. I'm not going to get my hopes up. BUUUT so far it's going as well as possible!! Excellent!

So today I'm thankful! I'm thankful for:

1. Food

2. Amanda's mom

3. Best Buy warrantees

4. Elena, for thinking of warrantees

5. Storeurdorm (for everything BUT the TV, obvs)

6. Tempur-pedic mattress pads

7. The Perks of Being a Wallflower

8. My life.

And surely more.

My New Favorite Cake!

Also, I need to mention that in Skins, this kid ends up having to apologize to someone because his dad makes him and the dad goes:

"Here. He baked a cake of his remorse."

And the kid pulls out from behind his back a cake that says "sorry" (although actually it's spelled "sory" but... that's irrelevant).

What I'm trying to say is that I want to bake a cake of my remorse SOOO BAD!! But I can't think of anyone that I need to say sorry to. I may have to bake a cake of another emotion....

Stupid compromise!

Moving and Job

Today was Moving Part 2/3: The Hardest Part.

I went to bed last night at 10:30pm, which was quite lovely. There is something about sleeping through a whole night... with the lights out and everything. It IS pretty refreshing.

I woke up at 8:45am, 15 minutes before my alarm. Then I putzed around for about 3 hours until I could deny no longer that I had to start packing. I finished, probably in an hour. The longest part was when I had to put movies in their cases because I'd removed all the Dawson's Creek from their place in one of my big cases to make room for the 20ish movies that I wanted to take to Utica instead. As they couldn't move in a big stack, I had to find their places again.

Then I went to west campus to see if I could check out a blue cart. They asked me if I lived in west and when I told them no, they told me I couldn't take one out there. I was MILDLY unhappy about it, but it was a BEAUTIFUL day, so I didn't care TOO much. Plus, she was a student and thus I imagined she didn't really have too much control over the matter.

However, I was a little more pissed when the girl at south didn't ask if I lived at south. I mean... it obviously doesn't matter at all. ESPECIALLY since they have like... a JILLION carts and the people who live in west are usually freshmen, and they are far less inclined to move in on an early moving day. In fact, they might not be allowed. I don't blame the girl... but I want to know why this is the policy... because I'm a BU student... and I think they should be servicing me too.

Not to go on about this, because I honestly didn't really care too much (although clearly enough...), but according to google maps, from my apartment to my south apartment is 1.6 miles. And my apartment to west is .6 miles. So I had to go to south to get a cart, bring it back to my apartment to load it up, and then drag (verb choice because it was much heavier this time) it back to south to unload, and then come BACK to my apartment to clean... / I'm staying until 6am when Vanessa comes to get her keys (she would have waited but I told her it was more than okay since I can easily be up then.. possibly I already will be).

Regardless, in this scenario (the one that actually happened) I walked 6.4 miles. Whereas if that girl would have given me the cart in west, I would have only walked 4.4 miles. She (/the establishment, BU) cost me 2 miles! Although... I guess it was good exercise, and like I said, it was a GORGEOUS day. I even remembered to wear sunscreen.

Also, I had mixed feelings about seeing so many people on campus again. On the one hand, it was fun to see all the people dressed up a LITTLE better than you know they usually do because today wasn't just another day for them. It was BACK IN BOSTON day! Although not for me... I looked like hell today. Plus it's the off day for showering. So I look especially ripe.

Although I... didn't have ANXIETY per se about running into people I would know... but kind of I did. I just don't like when you encounter a 100 people and you have to come up with some sort of mantra to say to everyone so you can have that quick, polite small talk. This year, not to be pessimistic, is going to be especially bad because I don't really have anything to say for myself... and I'm going to have to laugh it off. Not that I'm ashamed anymore. I'm past that. But... there is no way I'm not going to be judged and I'm going to have to convince people, in a few words, that I'm just floaty and that I never DID have shame in my choices to begin with... that it was all part of the plan. Which... obviously, will be a lie. But who cares? They aren't really my friends anyway.

OOOO! I guess my technically important news is that Amanda got me a job at the Hillel dining hall, which will be especially great because it's a regular schedule... not a changing one... AAAAND they'll feed me. Now, because of this and my other job, it turns out my days will likely be packed solid from 10am-5pm Monday, 9am-6pm on Tuesday, 10am-7pm on Wednesday, 9am-5pm on Thursday, and 10am-5pm on Friday. Plus Chords from 7pm-10pm on Tuesday and Sunday, and lunches at Hillel on Saturday.

Now... I CONSIDERED that I might be stretching myself. But... I asked my mom and she said she thought it would be fine, although admittedly I think she cares more about me making money and doesn't consider me getting worn out to be a reasonable concern... although I'm just guessing (not in a mean way though... but out of sight...). Also, she was at work at the time, and I feel like that matters. PLUUUUS I have my evenings. And... I'm pretty sure it will be fine. And I have this blog, so if I start bitching a LOT about it, I'll hopefully recognize that I have to settle down. But after all, the work is only going to be about 18 hours I imagine, and in high school I covered more than that.

Finished Skins. Oh God. I LOOOVED it!! Buuuut the British are tricky with their TV and they don't usually follow the mold of making something go on as long as possible.... which is why their series' last like.. 2 seasons. Well for Skins, I think it's in it's 4th season, but they switch casts every 2 seasons... which means that I could break away pretty easily. They were only 10 episodes per season, about 47 minutes each. It was a medium commitment as TV obsessions go. But I specifically speak to Claire when I say, WATCH THIS SHOW (but no pressure... that's not sarcastic)!! It's on surfthechannel.com.

Also, by accident (because I left Lord of the Rings in my other apartment (heh heh... I feel like a millionaire)), I started to re-read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which I basically almost completely forgot except that I remembered it was good. Oh my god! It's soooo good!! Thankfully it's short so I won't feel too bad about reading it instead of LOTR for a bit. I think it'll only take me another 3 hours.

Okay. Places to go.

The Miracle of Skins

I just watched the first disk of the first season of Skins...

OH YEEEESSS!!!!

I know I ALWAYS say some show is the best show... but this is the BEST SHOW! Based on the first four episodes. It's the show that Dev Patel is in... likely my inspiration for putting it in my netflix queue so long ago.

But ALSO! The kid from About a Boy is in it, but in this show he's like... the hot one of the group! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!?

How did this:

become THIS!!?:

It just goes to show, as proven again and again and again, that what the child looks like has NO bearing on what happens later. Jesus Herbert Christ!

(Sorry for using such a glamour shot-y picture... but I wanted to get the point across. His name is Nicholas Hoult if you want to look him up on your own for less biased photos.)

But also, this show is like Dawson's Creek on CRACK!

YESSS!! Go Britain!!

Needles and Food

Today I did the blood selling. Good news. The guy who did it was SUPER good with the needle. Usually the people have a hard time finding my veins and they either feel around for a long time or they dig around with the needle (don't let this discourage you from giving blood... they always ask if it's okay AND not everyone's veins are weird like mine). ANYWAY, this guy was a SUPER pro and did it in the arm that is usually more trouble... and he didn't have a problem at ALL! I was a little attracted to him for his needle skills (innuendo unavoidable and thus intentional).

Also I got my $50, which was AWESOME! I made and ate like... a HUNDRED BLTs. Actually only two... but they were the BEST SANDWICHES EVER EVER! And I had a can of soup!! And actually, I told someone that when I get money again, I may just eat so much that I vomit.... obviously assuming that wouldn't happen. Buuut today, after I ate my feast, I did feel SUPER sick... which was annoying because I was being excessive... but not THAT excessive. Plus, after you think of something like vomiting, it usually doesn't happen. Like when you don't know where someone is you say "What if they were hit by a car?" because... then it pretty much will not be the case.

The real point is that I did NOT vomit. The story's useless.

(I was super inclined to title this post "Blood and Vomit"... but it didn't seem like a good sell... not that my final choice is much better.)

I KNOW My Life's Not Interesting-- If It Was, I Wouldn't Have Such a Problem Titling Posts

Last night I had a dream that I was in my high school auditorium and watching some sort of karaoke talent show thing... very informal... and Dev Patel was there and we were arguing about what the girl's name in Slumdog Millionaire was. He kept telling me he was pretty sure it was Cora and I was insistent that it was not. I asked other people around me (but not while other people were singing) and they were like "Salim" and I was like... "no that's the brother." Also, I was waiting for the song "Dream a little Dream" to sing, but when I got up there, my mouth was swollen and I sang it really lispy. I wasn't terribly embarrassed because I still had some power and I wasn't singing it incorrectly.

When I woke, I shot up and said "Latika!"

I'm SOOO close to no more hot dogs! Allegedly my grandpa gave me $50 (I say allegedly because I haven't seen it, although I see no reason why my source would lie about that... it would be super mean.. something I would dream about). AAAND I'm PROBABLY getting $50 in cash tomorrow for selling blood. Don't be confused, I got SCREENED the other day. I'm not selling blood a hundred times in a row (although I absolutely would if I could). So... I'll have like... $110!! Which is a MIRACLE!!! And after I pay a $30 bill and give someone $10... I'll still have $70!! Then I'll get my study money eventually. And then I'll have my job. And then maybe I'll get a second job. Who knows? Then I'll be able to get new headphones and a new bra, things I've been dreaming about for a while now.

Plus I finished my diary... and I need a new one because I've also started writing diary things in my regular notebook (where I write phone numbers, names for sims, thoughts on the fly, and where I draw the occasional illustration... obviously not fit for diary writings), which is disconcerting. Plus, a diary is a once in 3-years purchase, and I think it should be the prettiest notebook you own. Well... actually that's what I want it to be for ME. I don't really care what anyone else uses as a diary. Why someone who blogs every day about nothing would NEED to also write in a diary might be cause for wonder, but apparently EVERYTHING in my life is important to me and needs careful deconstruction. My arrogance makes my fingers strong.

I'm moving on Wednesday. It should be a pretty easy move. I need one blue cart and that's about it. Although I'm not sure how the storage thing is going to work as I do not believe I gave them a date or an address. I should check up on that stuff soon. Then I'm going to come back and clean this apartment down, which I IMAGINE will be fun but... who knows. I know it will be more fun cleaning a place that still contains my stuff. It'll be me and my tunes and a fan and my rubber gloves, having a blast. Maybe!

Also, I should probably try and finish Lord of the Rings before school actually starts. Otherwise, I may have some trouble reading it before it's due back at the library. Although this semester won't be TOO reading packed, except health care sociology, which will perhaps be a lot of current events. Hopefully.

So I officially actually HAVE a license that I can physically hold, which means I wouldn't really have too much of a problem getting a zip car for practice (if I had that kind of money to spend... $50 for the sign-up and $9 per hour). Except now that I haven't driven in weeks, I'm re-frightened of cars. Plus, I've STILL never been in a car without an adult. I'm just going to wait until I get my own car, and then I'll putz around my neighborhood until I'm re-comfortable. That's the new plan A. Don't tell grandpa, because he wanted me to practice when I was here... but little does he know that all the honking might actually give me a heart attack/ make me cry at the wheel.

Another Health Care Debate

Today the guest on The Daily Show was Betsy McCaughey, which was really pleasing to me because I recently looked her up... which I know isn't an enormous achievement but... it was exciting for me.

(Maybe it goes to show that The Daily Show and The Colbert Report may unfortunately be my primary news source, as the pundits and interviewers often suggest is the case with the youth of America, but at least the two generate for me enough interest to do some outside reading as well...)

Regardless, Betsy McCaughey is an opinion columnist that is held kind of responsible for the whole "death panel" craziness. She was ALSO kind of responsible for the major column that brought health reform to it's end during the Clinton administration. Jon Stewart interviewed her and they have the exact text for why she thinks the elderly will be euthanized with the new health care system. So you might want to check out the interview part 1 and part 2 and part 3.

(I know the more parts there are, the less likely anyone is to watch it... but... I feel like it's the most pleasurable way to ingest EXACTLY why everyone is freaking out... so you can hear the language of the bill, the interpretation, and determine whether or not you're afraid of it.)

What I think you'll find is (in no particular order of importance):

1. You have an enormous crush on Jon Stewart.

2. At the end, Betsy says she has a PhD in constitutional history. Is it just me, or does actually GOING to college make you LESS confident that other people have any IDEA about anything in their major? In other words, I am now skeptical of "experts" when I see how little I feel I know about my own field whilst heading into my senior year of college.

3. Oh... and maybe some knowledge on what this whole health debate is on.

4. It's hard be sure you're not biased when your (my) least favorite demographic-- middle-aged white women-- is pinned against your (my) favorite demographic... Jon Stewart. Plus Republican vs. Democrat, thinking health reform kills grandma vs. thinking that's absolutely absurd. There was no way I was going to believe her.

ALSO!! The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are done for THREE WEEKS!! BAAAHH! So... in fact you may want to watch the interview once a day for the next 3 weeks... for your fix...

Also, I officially decided, with the help of Claire, that I'm going to watch The Time Traveler's Wife with my pass. I feel I've made a good decision.

ALSO, I watched Running with Scissors. Tricky tricky. The thing is, any problems with the movie, in my opinion, were NOT for lack of trying. I think the problem is that the book is a memoir about this guy who has a CRAAAZY life.... but he makes it funny. But not SUPER funny. It has an undertone of humor in the way that he reacts to things that are actually SUPER shitty.... but they're so absurd that he takes it as shitty/funny. So the problem was, I don't think they could create the funny and it came off, to me, as being SUPER dramatic! And when it was dramatic, it seemed MELOdramatic. But, if I was seeing correctly, I think they REEALLY tried to put the humor in, especially Annette Bening. For instance, in one dialogue she kept repeating stuff about how she won't be oppressed, but she said "oppressed" so many times that I'm pretty sure they were trying to be funny... but ... since it's also, in reality, very sad, it's tricky to see the funny. In fact, I could be making it up because I was coloring the movie with what I read. But I don't think I am. Tricky tricky.

Stole

I blatantly stole Claire's blog style with the polaroids...

Good thing it's the highest form of flattery and NOT the highest form of ... insult.

(Isn't it really cool, though!?!!)

Hash Browns, Theater Dilemma, and Fred Savage

First things first, I went to sell blood today. They have to screen you first I guess, but they give you $25 for screening. They gave it to me in cash! No waiting for a check! I have to say... it is GLORIOUS having $25! Actually though... I used $1.50 to get home... and I didn't have the change (I thought I was going to have to walk home... which I WOULD have done, but I was REALLY nervous about getting lost) so I spent around $1.50 on hash browns at Dunkin' Donuts in order to get change. So really I have $22. But still... gold.

And when I got home, I decided that I could use some real hash browns-- which may SEEM odd given that I JUST had some... but it felt like a natural progression of events at the time. Now I've never made hash browns, nor do I recall anyone I know ever making them, but they seemed easy enough in my cookbook.

WEEELL... they weren't awful. They didn't really taste bad at all, but they were relatively unattractive. Although I would obviously rather have unattractive, tasty food than attractive, disgusting food. Buuut I WAS having fantasies about making my kids bacon and eggs and hash brown breakfasts a la a June Cleaver-type wife... but what's the point of making a huge breakfast if it isn't attractive? Fantasies dashed.

Also, amongst other things, Matt generously gave me a free pass to the movies that he had!! So I went on fandango to see when I could go and see 500 Days of Summer! But it's not playing in the theater for which I have the pass!! So now I have to decide between my other choices. The Hurt Locker isn't playing in the theater either. So I have to choose between The Time Traveler's Wife, Funny People, and Julie and Julia.

So I really WANT to see The Time Travelers Wife, and it LOOKS pretty good and I LOVE Rachel McAdams and I'm entirely neutral on Eric Bana. BUUUUUT because I read it, I feel like I'm a BILLION times less likely to enjoy the movie. Plus, I could be ANGRY after the movie. On the other hand, it could be pretty good... I already know that I like the story. So do I want to use my ONE chance on that one?

Funny People... I'm inclined to make this one my choice because I instinctually want to see it the most out of the three. BUUUUT I fear I may have gotten to the end of my rope on the Apatow... although it's hard to say. Plus I haven't really heard anything too good about it. I imagine it's probably shmena... the kind of movie where you didn't regret your time (not that I would ever REGRET watching a movie... but you know what I mean) but you pretty much forget that you ever watched it because it meant so little to you. Is that worth my ONE PASS?

Julie and Julia... everyone says it's PRETTY good but it has some pretty big flaws. I'm honestly the least motivated to see it, although I have a feeling I might like it the best out of the three.

Then I thought, I'm really looking forward to Adam, the movie about the guy with aspergers and his relationship with a girl... it's with the guy from Confessions of a Shopaholic (Hugh Dancy). So I thought, I'll look up when that one's coming out and maybe save the pass until then. Turns out, it IS out! I thought it was going to be in regular theaters but it turns out it's an indie flick... which is weird since it seems to have gotten a lot of publicity and usually indies can't afford much PR. ANYWAY, it's out but NOT in the theater that I can go to!! AAAAAND in finding that out, I see that Paper Heart, the documentary (?) with Michael Cera and his girlfriend is ALSO out, but NOT in the theater I can use. What a TEASE!

Big dilemma. I won't make my decision lightly.

Also, Pat came over yesterday (long over due) and we (he) found a video of the prettiest tranny I've ever seen. If you watch the video, start at like... 1:18... it's not the tranny singing Whitney, it's the Mariah one. You'll see what I mean.

David Cross came out with a new book called I Drink for a Reason. I read a few pages that amazon allowed and it didn't seem too great. Some comedians are not book writers... which is fine by me.

Also, James McAvoy signed on to do a movie about a guy with cancer that's also starring Seth Rogen. Interesting! (heaven?)

Because of my new addiction to Surfthechannel.com, I ended up watching a LOOOT of episodes of Boy Meets World yesterday. Even the ONE episode I'd never seen because they wouldn't air it on the Disney channel because Cory and Sean drink in it. Buuuut that lead me to need to watch interviews with Ben Savage (there was only one, pretty much). So then I watched interviews of Fred Savage... and they were AWESOME! Albeit all from 1997-1999 (when he was like... 21ish). And they were mostly with Conan. But anyway, I have a huge celebrity crush on Fred Savage of 1997 through 1999. I may love more of him... but I can't know for sure. Both boys went to Stanford! Also, naturally I've progressed to watching The Wonder Years. It's a cycle.

Also, for seemingly no reason at all, I've had a mysterious obsession with the song "Lady" by Styx.

My brain's going to appreciate going back to school.

My Arts, My Crazy

First of all, finished Running with Scissors. What I didn't completely realize was that it was autobiographical. I knew the author's name and the main character's name were the same, but... Jesus Herbert Christ! What an interesting childhood! And funny as hell. So, even though I've heard the movie isn't good by word of many mouths and much print, I'm doing it. It just seems like it COULDN'T fail!

Finished Freaks and Geeks. What a GEM! Every single episode was pure gold. Plus I really love the characters so much... because they're stereotypes but they're all layered... which is exactly how people kind of are-- the categories are largely arbitrary... but they're there and they make a statement about you whether it's really much usable information at all or not. And I think they do a good job with the subtleties of relationships too. I kind of think it's nice that it's only the 18 episodes. I could have watched a jillion more, but it bookends really nicely. AAAnd obviously half of those people went on to become cinema gold. Plus the series made me like Judd Apatow more (not that I had ever gotten to the point of dislike) because... I like that he's so sensitive. Well... I like his emphasis on man love... the plutonic kind. It's so endearing and I don't think it gets old. I could watch man-buddy movies all day long. BUUUUT a girl is the lead, which is nice that Judd takes the time with them too. I give the credit to Judd even though many people were obviously apart of it. 

ALSO I'm giving blood on Tuesday. NAY, I'm SELLING blood on Tuesday. So great...

So... it's my last year of school coming up and I'm trying to decide what I want to do with everything... what I'm going to do next year and where I want to head when I graduate. So this morning I was pretty pumped up for no reason ... likely I was inspired by the finale of Freaks and Geeks. So at 6am I went to the esplanade and did some writing to myself about what I wanted to do. Every few days I keep having these thoughts that I can only describe as key thoughts. Little eye-openers trying to figure out what's going to happen... what I like and what I don't like. What I really want verses what I think I want. So I was having some key thoughts this morning and I wrote them in the esplanade. 

But the thing is, I spend SOOOOOO much time alone that I have no idea if I'm going crazy or if my thoughts are real. And there's no one to ask because... not that I want to do anything enormously radical, but I have two types of people in my life. People who would support anything I wanted to do... which is great, AWESOME,  but no help in determining if I'm being stupid or not. These are the people who say you can be anything you want to be, which I believe is true, but little do they know that I don't want it THAT much.... and thus... it's not going to happen. 

And the other type of person would for sure say that I AM being stupid. Try to counsel me back in the right direction. OR they would IMPLY support but I know they're rolling their eyes in their head... judging... betting against me... probably going to tell their mom or a close friend about me and they can both talk about how I'm his or her floaty little friend, talking out of her ass about big ideas that'll never happen... in an endearing way. Ugh. The people who can't even fantasize about going off "track." I don't hate these people. I love them. But not for sharing my dreams. I like their other unrelated qualities. Otherwise they wouldn't be my in my life, obviously.

Regardless, I wrote my thoughts and then I stared into space for a while. Then I listened to some comedy on my ipod. And I WANTED to stay until 10am because that's when the library opens and I want to read Lord of the Rings. BUUUUUT I started to starve around 8am. I probably should have had enough foresight to realize that I couldn't stay somewhere for 4 hours without a book. And without food. However, it's hard when you don't sleep at night. I'd decided I was going down there at 3:30am. I waited until I saw sun and then I was outta here. 

Now it's 10:40am but I'm too tired to go back down now. Maybe before 11pm when it closes.  We shall see. I think I'll try because if I don't get the book, sometime tonight I'm going to need to read something, and I don't want to start a different book because I'll never drop it for Lord of the Rings. And if I start rereading the Harry Potter's that I brought back... well that's a whole new can of worms. And I'll have to wait for storage to come back before I can even touch the 4th and on. I do not want to go down that road. 

(Oh my trials! haha)

MOVIE SECTION:

Kramer Vs. Kramer: A very great depiction of what I imagine divorce.. and marriage to be like. Very sad. Also, I LOVE Dustin Hoffman!! Although his character... well done... and I DID like him kind of... but also he made me never ever want to get married. Simultaneously. It took talent. Bravo.

MRI Journey and LOTR -- Epic Both

So yesterday was the Harvard MRI study thing... which is honestly the only thing I've had to think about being on time for in... an embarrassingly long time. Naturally I set all of my alarms for 9:30am in order to be there for my 12:15pm appointment. 

Weeeeell I obviously couldn't (didn't) sleep because ... well I'm not going to go through it anymore. I just didn't. Around 7:15am I took a shower and then decided I was going to sleep until 10:15am because I wanted to run a quick errand before I left. So right before I decided to go to sleep, I remembered that I should put the last Lord of the Rings on my netflix queue (because I'd just gotten, watched, and returned the second one). So I go to the site and it turns out I could watch the last one INSTANTLY. So then I had to make a choice. Do I use self control and take a nap before my appointment? Or do I forgo self control and watch as much of the movie as I can. I'm not proud to admit that I did the latter. AAAAAAND I HAD been watching the theatrical versions of the first two, so they were about 3 hours long... a little less. BUUUUUT I could only watch the EXTENDED version of the third, which was about 4 hours and 20 minutes.... so I only got half-way through before I had to leave. 

It was worth it. 

Anyway, the study gave me VERY explicit instructions to the place, and you only have to turn ONE TIME. AAAAAND they gave me a map, which I drew on a piece of paper. 

I end up getting to the Harvard T stop at 11:15am... which doesn't surprise me, obviously. I'm pretty much always early to such things.

So I'm on the street and there's kind of a fork in the road but according to the map, you can take either side... but the line they made goes through the right side. So I WANTED to go to the right side but there wasn't any sidewalk and it was a busy road. So I decided to go left. And I ended up on the street I was supposed to be on. So good. 

But then I'm walking and I feel like I'm going WAY too far. It stopped really looking like Harvard and on the map it seemed like a MUCH shorter walk and they said it was 15 minutes and I'd been walking 15 minutes without even making the turn. And all I can think is "damn it, Blythe. Why don't you EVER know where you're going?!" Honestly, I feel like an Amelia Bedelia type character. The same shit happens all the time and you're like "AMELIA! Come on! Why would would someone want you to draw a PICTURE of the curtains! Think!" I feel like a kid reading The Adventures of Lost Blythe would be like "BLYTHE! Damn it! Can't you just take the non-sidewalk route! You KNOOOW you're going to get lost if you don't follow the EXACT directions! You ALWAYS do!!" 

So I keep going for a while because I don't want to have just not gone far enough, but FINALLY I turn around. Although I do stop in a Rite Aid for water (even though I only have $7 to my name)... and I get concerned that I'm going to turn the wrong way out of the store so when I go in, I repeat in my head "turn right. Turn right. Turn right. Turn right." Yeah. I'm that serious about this problem! And when I get to the water section, this middle aged white woman is on her knees looking for something in the refrigerator. Whatever. I open my door to grab the water (thankfully $.99) and then woman turns to me and, with distain, says "not much of a selection here, is there?" I smile and nod, but in my head I call her a consumerist bitch. Not fair, I know. I'm a consumer too. But I'm prejudiced against her demographic and also who gives a fuck if your favorite juice brand isn't there! Jesus Christ!

(I hope I'm not becoming an angry person.)

So on my way back I see a police officer and I ask him where the street is. Turns out, it was perfectly fine for me to take the sidewalk route. And the street was exactly where it should have been. The issue? I can't even believe it when I say that I was simply distracted by the cranes doing construction on that corner. They were the REEEEAAALLY tall ones, 3x the size of the trees. Apparently, I couldn't redirect my attention for even a second to look at the street sign. DAMN IT!! I'll bank that for my Lost Blythe children's series I guess...

INCREDIBLY ironically, the entire Harvard study was about navigating through a virtual world! HAHA!!

The DOUBLE irony is that the woman told me she was amazed at how well I did!! Honestly, so was I. Although I'm apparently one of the first people to do it.. and I wouldn't be at ALL shocked if I end up being one of the worst navigators in the study.  

Also, I just have to mention that despite my directional failure, I was still just over 20 minutes early for the appointment. I'm the most predictable person on the planet!

Also at the end I just had to be in the MRI for two separate 6 minute stretches while just keeping my eyes open, blinking regularly, and trying to keep my head really still. I'll tell you what. Six minutes, for me, is a very long time to be horizontal in the dark without falling asleep. DOUBLE six minutes... nearly impossible. It almost killed me. 

So after I left, I was unBELIEVABLY tired and also pretty nauseous (from the study... they expected it).... and so I fell asleep on the T, which was awkward. Then I thought that I would be wide awake when I got back, because that's always the way it seems to go. You're on the verge of dying and then when you get to a point where you CAN sleep, you're up for another 8 hours. 

Not this time!

I passed out around 3:45pm, right when I got home. I set my alarm for 5pm but slept until 2:15am. Then I watched the end of the Lord of the Rings and some other things afterwards. And now it's 6:25am... so we'll see what happens. 

But before I go to sleep... or stay awake... or eat something... 

The Lord of the Rings: The first one I liked (which I already wrote about). And then second one I liked better. And I REEEEEEEEEALLLY liked the third one. And now I wonder why I didn't watch the extended version of all of them! Well... I don't wonder.. I know exactly why. I usually watch theatrical versions because extended versions usually just have the bad scenes (or not as worthwhile scenes) mixed in and it makes the movie drag. If I'd had the foresight... or faith... I would have realized that the extended versions would just have WAY more information that would help to understand the story better. They just can't put a 5 hour movie into a theater.... or not in a REGULAR theater... I think they DID do showings of the whole thing in all it's extended glory after they were all out. 

So I have to go back and watch the extended stuff. But not now. Buuuuut I thought it was awesome!! The fact that they even made extended versions tells you how much passion they put into those movies. Veeery awesome. Very respectable. Plus they DID have a kick ass girl, which was also great!! And they didn't make it TOO weird and cheesy for her. Although she obviously didn't get the Viggo character (that's not giving anything away because you knew she wouldn't). But ... Liv was HOT. There was no scooting around that. And I'm sorry to say that I preferred her to the kick ass one because of it. 

Also, this series in the only one in which I like Orlando Bloom. He's not overstated... and I really liked the long white mane... AAAND there were a few times when I was very excited about him being on screen... which was great given my pretty strong prejudice against him. By the end, I was going crazy with excitement when he was defeating this elephant thing. It was awesome.

More importantly, I was so impressed by the different worlds they created. Everything was super beautiful but the elf world was very DISTINCTLY different from the big stone human city. And those were different from the rabbit-y atmosphere of the hobbit shire. There were like... a hundred very detailed and very majestic places in the movie. Veeery impressive. 

So after years of making excuses to not see the movies... I really did enjoy them. I'm not even a LITTLE surprised. I think I could read the books now. 

Anyway, if I had the means... boy would I be in the theater every day. Well... at least for 4 days. I REEEAAALLY want to see 

1) 500 Days of Summer

2) The Time Travelers Wife

3) Funny People

4) Julie and Julia

And if I was rolling in it, I would also like to see The Hurt Locker... which I heard was the war movie to surpass all war movies. It's supposed to be AMAZING. But... I don't really love war movies. I'm almost positive it would be one where if I saw Funny People in theaters and then later saw The Hurt Locker on netflix, I'd be like "damn it!! Why didn't I use my theater time for something that could really USE a theater!!?" Isn't it funny when foresight is 20/20... but you still pretend you're blind? 

Maybe not...

Making My Last Year Easier

I got this email from my professor of the class I was most dreading... the class that I decided to take when I was still going through my "what would Bob Dylan do?" phase:

Greetings all, I hope it has been a happy and prosperous summer for everyone. This is just a subtle (OK --not so subtle) reminder to everyone that you should make sure you have a good grasp of both Homer's Odyssey and Joyce's Portrait of an Artist before classes begin. Ulysses is a wonderful novel, and a lot of fun, but it is also extremely difficult, and you will need to know both the Homer and Portrait to figure it out.  It is also a good idea to read through Joyce's Dubliners (a pretty easy read) as a lot characters in Ulysses appear there as well.  And, as you will have figured out, be forewarned that Ulysses is hard, so that the class will take some effort, although I will do my best go guide you through it. 

As in my earlier email, for Ulysses please get the Gabler edition (he's the editor) for ease of reference, but for the other works whatever edition is easiest for you to find is fine. 

Enjoy the rest of your summer, and very much looking forward to seeing you in the fall. 

All best, 

(Prof.) Stephanie Nelson

...

Obviously that's just not going to happen. I read the email and I was like "... fuck."

There are several things that bother me about this. 

1) I won't even have a CHANCE because there's no way I'm going to finish two books before the summer's over... Not because I couldn't but because I KNOW I wouldn't... and thus I would start OUT with anxiety which, in my opinion, is a crime.  

2) I consistently site the Odyssey as being a book that I know I would never read... a book that I would HAVE to spark note... a book that would turn me off with language so much that I couldn't go on... a book that makes me sad that I'm obviously not the most literary of people. I've never read it... but I use the Odyssey as my example with which to make these blanket statements. The point is, being asked to read it is bad enough... but the fact that I have to read this as BACKGROUND for a class.... Pshaaa!

3) Another thing that I want to say about old literature is that you aren't really ALLOWED to criticize it. Or... if you do you're like the most pretentious prick in the land. Even with the greatest movies... the most prestigious ones... you're still allowed to say SOMETHING. Citizen Kane is the most boring fucking movie ever (I've never seen it, but so I've heard). I hate the way Casablanca ends (I don't really... but it's a valid opinion). 

4) I know I'm just justifying myself here... but the other thing about classics is that I never remember them... which is annoying as shit because I'd like to have gained something from the torture. For instance, I'm almost positive I actually read The Great Gatsby in 11th grade. I'm pretty sure I didn't sparknote it (as opposed to Jane Eyre, which I absolutely DID sparknote). I don't remember SHIT about The Great Gatsby. I don't remember the characters. I feel like it took place in the 20s. That's it. I KNOW I read Animal Farm, which is a pretty memorable tale, and all I remember was that the pigs were evil and they sent the nice horse to the glue factory. And I promise I actually read them. Word for word. And I'm pretty sure I can remember other books clearly... but boring books. Nay. But I'll tell you, I bet I remember, almost scene for scene about 80% of the movies I've seen in my entire life... and I've seen a LOT of movies. What I'm saying is that if someone quizzed me on intricate details of every American movie that was ever made and someone quizzed me on every book that III'VE ever read... I bet I'd do better on the first one. 

What I'm saying is... I'll wait for a spicy new version of Ulysses, the movie. 

(Although, that last bit was a joke. Books, in my opinion, don't regularly become very great movies.... or if they do... they don't match up completely with the book. AAAALSO, I do wholeheartedly believe that reading a really great book is more satisfying than watching even the best movie... or for me it is. AAAnd my favorite book, probably aside from Harry Potter... which I can't help, is A Tree Grows in Brooklyn... and I'm pretty sure that's considered to be a classic. So there, you go. Contradictions, contradictions.)

Also, I want to mention that the professor seemed like a perfectly nice and fun and enthusiastic lady. Too bad I can't summon the interest in her topic. Also I like that she ended the email with "all best." I would like to write enough casual emails to have a little tag. My dad always ends his cards and emails (at least the ones he gives to me) with "big love." I LOVE that one. Big love.

ANYWAY ANYWAY

After reading the email I went online and tried to find a new class to fulfill my writing/literature requirement... the last of my requirements. I chose "literature and art of film." HEEELL YEAH!! The only thing that worries me is that maybe there was some reason I didn't pick this to begin with. I guess I'll have to double check, but I'm almost 1000% positive that it fits the requirement. 

Construction Dreams and Audrey Tautou

There was RREEEEAAAALLLY loud construction this morning literally RIGHT in front of my window... and I live on the first floor. It was CRAZY! I pretty much slept through it, but it was a very light and frenzied sleep. And actually I dreamt that I was doing this weird Thanksgiving football match with people from my high school. We were playing 3 against 3ish... and there were like.. 10 small fields right next to each other. So first we were playing with whoever we wanted and I know I was playing with Ben Miller, a friend from high school. And then Ben stopped everyone and said he was going pick the teams and put us in groups of people who aren't necessarily friends so we can all try to get along. So he put some people together and for our group he picked me, Courtney Ay from high school, and Amanda Bynes (the actress) who was dressed in a cardboard box... ... I don't know why. And I told him that those are all people he liked and it wasn't cool that he split everyone else up. But... he didn't care. 

So I went inside and Shirley MacLaine (why I would dream about her is 1000% beyond me. I'm not sure I've ever even seen her in anything, and certainly not recently) was.... I assume making Thanksgiving dinner. She was using the blender and the blender was making the noise and she was imitating the noise of the blender... so she was obviously either a little crazy or just fun and quirky. Hard to say. 

Then I go back outside and I end up going on a group that included Shaquille O'Neal... but I was playing against him. And he's obviously HUUUUUGE... I come up to like... his belt. So we're having our fun football thing and I'm carrying the football and I run up to make the play and Shaq catches me and tickles me and whatever and I'm laughing and I wriggle out and make the play. And then I tease Shaq about how if I can beat him in football then I'm obviously the champion and all his basketball triumphs are useless. And he laughs. And then I wake up. 

Can you see how the construction affected my dream? Obviously when we were playing football the construction was loud. Then when Ben broke us up, the construction had probably stopped for a minute. Then when I heard the blending, that was probably the exact construction noise. Then more football, more noise. 

After I woke up I had another dream, but it's probably not worth telling... so I shant. 

MOVIE SECTION:

In other news, I apparently had an explosion of Audrey Tautou (the girl in Amelie).

A Very Long Engagement: It's about this girl who's lovely fiance PROBABLY dies in WWI but she needs to make sure. Also, Jodie Foster was mysteriously in it.... speaking what I can only assume was perfect French. I really enjoyed it except that I got a little lost because they kind of trace 5 people and people who they're connected with. But it was good and the ending was satisfying because it kind of seemed like one of those endings where if he's alive at the end, it's going to seem like TOO much of a miracle, but if he's dead than it was all incredibly pointless... but I was satisfied. Also, Marion Cotillard was in it as well. And one of the guys from Amelie. I've officially watched enough French movies to recognize some people. But I REEEAAAAALLY loved the fiance because he was REALLY boyish, like skinny and cute and not hairy, which I love. It made me REALLY want him to be alive. And the men called him "the cornflower." I would LOVE if my fiance was called the cornflower!

Priceless: Also Audrey Tautou. This was kind of a typical romantic comedy. I REEEAAAALLY wanted a young Robert Downey Jr. to play the lead man role. In fact, I kept rethinking the scenes as though Downey Jr. was in them... although I guess it would have to be in English. But I thought it was pretty fun. They could remake that in English, I think. 

Anyway, it was about a guy who works at a hotel and he meets Audrey in a way that makes him seem like he's not working but actually a guest. And she's this gold digger with an old man. And then they have sex. And then she leaves. But then then next year she comes back and they do it again but this time the man she was with catches her. So she decides to be with the hotel guy, who is just smitten as can be. And then she realizes he tricked her (all of these things happen in a very believable manner... in my opinion) and he tells her he still wants to take her out and everything and so she basically sucks him dry buying dresses and bags and shoes and expensive dinners and hotel rooms... on purpose because she's punishing him. And he's like... completely broke. So then she leaves to find another rich guy and the hotel guy, who got fired, goes back to the hotel they were staying at that he couldn't afford and they say he couldn't pay and they're going to arrest him... but then this lady, who he'd met before at the hotel, takes him on as her own pet... and she's really rich. And then Audrey comes back to the hotel with her rich guy. So now both the hotel guy and Audrey are completely broke pets of rich people... and she teaches him how to get the most out of his rich lady. Chaos, hilarity, and love ensue. (I know I just wrote ... a LOT of the movie... but at first I wrote too little about it...)

Also, the thing about Audrey Tautou is that, while I'm sure men don't find her UNATTRACTIVE, I think she's a woman's woman. Like Audrey Hepburn. Like... that's what women want to be... a tiny chic doe of a woman. But it's not really a male fantasy. Just like Clive Owen for men. I wouldn't throw him out of bed, but I'm not obsessed with Clive Owen... but men REALLY are. 

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not: ANOTHER Audrey Tautou. It's hard not to give anything away on this one... but it was quite scary... waaaay more intense than what I realized I was getting into. Very much reminds me of another movie, but I won't say which because it'll give it away. But I appreciated the layout of the film. 

Then I deserted the french and watched...

Can't Hardly Wait: A late 90s teenager movie that I somehow missed! And EVERYONE who EVER existed in the 90s is in this movie. EVERYONE! I couldn't even name everyone in the movie... because they were ALL there! Ummm... I LOVED it! 

(not really...) Noteworthy Commercials

Every time I watch this commercial I think to myself, "I would watch this girl in a romantic comedy."

And actually, every time I see this commercial I think about how shitty it would be to be starting out as an actor. Especially for that girl in the orange. What does she tell her friends? "Don't laugh but... I got paid to do this..." I just don't think I could muster the enthusiasm to dance like a chicken for KFC. 

Sorority Row

I know this image is small but I think it had something to do with the wideness of the image. Just click on the picture and it comes up MUCH bigger.

Anyway... 

It looks like the WORST MOVIE EVER!! I love the slogan though: Sisters for life... And death. 

HAHAHAHA!!

Plus... it looks like (/is) Rumer "potato head" Willis. 

Awesome!

Movies and Words on Greed

I think today I only have movies to talk about. Except that I did inquire about a job... so we'll see. 

La Vie en Rose: Not to be mistaken with Ma Vie en Rose (about a 7-year-old boy who is a girl inside). No, this is the biopic about Edith Piaf, the french singer, for which Marion Cotillard won the Oscar. I have to say... that if there was a best actress Oscar for all roles of all time forever and ever... she might win. I just don't think another soul in the world could have done that. AMAZING! And I'm so glad I watched Love Me If You Dare first, because she's just kind of a normal girl in that movie... so it allows you to kind of guess what she's like in real life. Like the way she really walks and talks and stuff... because when you watch this, even her YOUNG self is just ... a comPLETELY different person! And then she becomes older and it's just... unbeLIEVable. 

Although, there is really no reason the movie should be called La Vie en Rose. She sings it, but it really has no significance at all. I'm PRETTY sure they just used that because they wanted Americans to know that it's French, and that's the only French phrase that Americans are familiar with. When I say American... that could encompass more people... but the name of the movie is different in French. It's called La Mome (because I THINK they called her La Mome Piaf-- the sparrow kid... or something like that in English... the little sparrow?... the French would obviously get it right away, I assume). 

Anyway anyway. After the movie, I listened and tried to sing to one of her songs for like... 30 minutes. I think it's called "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien" or... you know... whatever. Ok moving on. 

Step Brothers: I mean... I didn't really like it. Of course, who am I? Plus, if it was like... a student film... I'd think it was a hilarious work of genius. So...

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring: Well it WAS pretty awesome. Although it was CLEARLY a first of three... Like... you really couldn't just watch one. But visually it was amazing. The creators clearly tried MUCH harder on this than the creators of Harry Potter did. I don't WANT to be an asshole on this... but I'm a little disappointed with the lack of women in the film. But I guess that's what Tolkien had and there's nothing to be done about it. 

One message that I really like from the story is the idea of greed. I mean... not just of people being greedy and wanting the ring... but also they went into these mines and they mentioned that the mine was scary because the dwarfs greedily went too far down into the mine and they unleashed dark shadows... something like that. I just think that is not a very American, capitalist message and... we're all the worse off for it. 

I was talking with a friend earlier this summer and we were talking about... some show about rich kids or something... one of those reality shows. I told my friend that I thought NO ONE deserves to have that much money. NO ONE deserves to have so much money that THEY couldn't spend it in their one lifetime. Because really... it's just creating a sort of aristocracy. If you pass all that money to your kid, then your kid either doesn't have to work, or they have such an advantage in schooling and jobs and they can fund any project that... because of their luck, they leave other people by the wayside. Now I GET that that's how capitalism works... that people are encouraged to be innovative and work as hard as they can so that they can have money. If there wasn't financial incentive, we probably wouldn't have all the THINGS we have now. I get that. Buuuuut for someone to earn $500 million! That's absurd! NO ONE deserves that.... at least in my opinion. No one even deserves $50 million. Maybe $15 million. They did something great and their reward can be to never work again.

But my friend and I got... almost into a fight about this. She thought that people absolutely deserved their money if they earned it. My argument is that you're not EARNING it at all. You do something great and you put in some hard work... and yes... maybe you can get an advantage over all other people. Sure. But it's also LUCK. It's not like you personally did the job of 1,000,000 people and deserve all of their salaries. And if you did... that's greedy anyway.... but also... no one could. And... not to be a complete ass towards her opinion, but I think that we accept that people make so much because we think... maybe III could too. Maybe IIII could end up with that much money. But that's greedy and rude and absurd. And we're all taught that if we don't have everything in the world that we want, then we aren't working hard enough. And on some level that's true. If all you want in the world is a horse... then yes. Work hard enough and you can most likely get it. But if what you want is a jillion dollars... that isn't even a want. That's just miscellaneous greed. Right?

Anyway, I just appreciated The Lord of the Rings take on it. You don't mine as far as you can. That's greedy. You take what you need. Just like Native Americans (or whatever we're calling them now). Just like my dad, who I REALLY admire, who told his work that he doesn't need more money. He needs more time to live. 

Awesome. 

Posted a little later: Something I forgot to mention about Lord of the Rings that ... isn't really that important... But in this kind of movie especially, it always reminds me of how weak I feel like I would be. I mean... their journey was crazy enough as it was... but during some parts I was like... I would SERIOUSLY kill myself. Like they're in these mines and they just see skeletons EVERYWHERE and they're just trying to get out but it's a four day passage... but it's like this HUUUUUGE place with skeletons. And then one of the hobbits makes a noise and then there's silence for a second and then they just hear these slow, HUGE thumps... like clearly something's coming. I would kill myself. I wouldn't be able to a LITTLE bit handle it! I'd either kill myself or try DESPERATELY to hide. I'd probably hide and kill myself in the hiding place. Seriously. It's one thing if you're attacked in the middle of the forest and you didn't get the chance to think about it and so it's you and your adrenaline and you're own self-preservation fighting... not a bit of your mind. But if you're basically smelling doom, and in my case surely on the verge of killing yourself to begin with, and then you hear huge thumps... that's it! Case closed! I probably wouldn't even have to kill myself. My heart would crap out with fear. 

Perhaps I Need Freecell Rehab

Ok... here is something that I should be judged on. 

As you may know, I play a lot of freecell. A LOT. April 20th (exactly 60 days after I'd purchased my computer) that I had played 1048 games. I won 599 and I lost 449. Thus, I played an average of 17.2 games per day, won 9.8 and lost 7.4. 

WEEELLL I decided to see where I'm at now. So as of today, August 7th (169 days after I purchased my mac), I have played 5817 games. I've won 3455 and lost 2362. This means that on average I play a WHOPPING ::: drum roll:::

34.4 games per day. I win 20.4 and I lose 14. 

That is a LOT!

And I'll tell you what. I don't think I'm any better. I've been winning 59% of the time essentially since I past the 100 games mark. 

Mostly the Moneys

So today, first of all, I got an appointment to do this study at Harvard for next Thursday and I get $50 for doing the appointment and then $50 for doing a 2-hour questionnaire (doesn't that spelling look weird... but it's right. Why is "millionaire" only ONE N?). So AWESOME! And a little bit thank God. ALTHOUGH they send you the check in the mail... so I hope I don't starve before then. 

(Small disclaimer: I KNOOOOW the money thing is my fault... so don't take it as complaining... or do but know that I know I've been an absolute fool and the punishment DOES fit the crime... and it IS kind of fun and adventurous making anti-starving decisions.)

Anyway, I decided to take all of my bottles to get the $.05 back for them... and I have a LOT... a few soda bottles and more beer bottles because... I literally haven't recycled anything since before my birthday, and I've had a few people over since then.

First of all, they were QUITE heavy to carry. I guess a shit-ton of glass WOULD be... but whatever. So I get there and got $.55 for the soda bottles. Then I do the beer bottles and none of them work. They all say that the store doesn't accept the brand... but some of the brands I bought IN the store. But they have a little phone that lets you call the front desk if you need assistance, which is very nice. You don't have to go up, lugging bottles, to get help. 

Well I don't WANT to be pissed off by this, but I am. They sent down a mentally challenged guy to help me. Now, I don't have a problem with mentally challenged people working at a grocery store. In fact, I think it's awesome and they do a great job. The people I've worked with were always friendly and very proud and it was great. Whatever whatever. This kid really couldn't help me at all. He told me that maybe they only took the bottles they sold and that they didn't sell alcohol here... which... is quite untrue. They have an entire alcohol section. He suggested that I call the manager of the company that programs the machines. Damnit! 

Obviously I just thanked him. I mean.. it was PROBABLY only like $2 worth of bottles (which in my head is nearly 6 pork chops on sale... or nearly a can chicken corn chowder soup), BUUUUT I planned on buying some things at the store and I didn't want to lug around a heavy bag of bottles. In fact, I didn't even want to have to carry them home and find another way of disposing them without tampering too much with my conscience. Well.... I'm a LITTLE ashamed to say that I just left the bag by the machines.... BUUUUT I'm not going to feel too guilty because 1. maybe the machines somehow DO accept the bottles and someone else will get my $2. Or more likely the store will dispose of them... but I think it's much easier for them, with all of their trash disposing equipment, to get rid of the bottles... it probably wouldn't even piss off the person who's taking care of it (but I actually DO feel a LITTLE guilty). 

By the way, later I considered that maybe they sent the mentally challenged kid down because no one would yell at him. I mean... it's kind of a situation where someone with a hotter temper might get angry right away and start making demands and raising their voice etc. Although I HIGHLY doubt that they would put so much thought into it.... but maybe. 

More embarrassingly, I DID go to the front counter and ask to redeem my little receipt for $.55.... it seemed QUITE sad... but I really wanted it. 

Also, yesterday I suddenly had this INCREDIBLE craving for cheese curls. Like... a LOT. Cravings are so strange because my cravings are OFTEN for things that I wouldn't think twice about... like curry or like an oatmeal cookie. Usually I prefer pad thai over curry. Usually I prefer chocolate chip over oatmeal. And in this case, usually I prefer any sort of chip over cheese curls. But whatever. But I went into the grocery store and I thought... no I can't spend $2.50 on cheese curls (I know... cry me a river... I'm ashamed of myself)...BUUUUT as I'm walking to get some cheese, I pass an entire display of cheese curls! On sale! For $1!!! Fate. 

I'm currently enjoying said curls. 

Last night I watched the first disk of Freaks and Geeks, which OBVIOUSLY was AMAZING! I knew I would love it because everyone in the world thinks it's brilliant... and while I think that I sometimes differ quite dramatically with other people on movie preference, I find that I share the same taste in television quite a bit. I mean... except crime shows, which I really don't find that fun... although maybe I just haven't given them enough of a chance. 

ANYWAY, the show is awesome, and as predicted, I'm QUITE sad that I have to wait for the next disks. Plus, since I switched to one disk at a time, it's going to take even longer. Especially if I can't persuade myself to give up Love Me If You Dare in a timely manner. Plus I keep having an internal battle over whether I'm actually going to watch Lord of the Rings or return it without watching it so I can get something I'm more interested in. I feel like I HAVE to watch it because I'm PROBABLY going to like it, and if I return it, I may never borrow it again. It's just SUCH a commitment and I'm never in the mood. Plus, what happens if/when I watch it and then I'm obsessed and then I can't decide if I want to use my one disk on Freaks and Geeks or the next Lord of the Rings?

(Could I BE anymore unbelievably whiny about my awesome life??!!)

Pork, John Hughes, Rove, Movies

Two more pork successes. Great. I don't know what to tell you. The blog has taken a mysterious turn towards pork worship. Who'd have thought?

Also John Hughes died! And at age 59 which is, in my opinion, considerably sad. He could have still made some winners.... and he really did make some masterpieces. If you're so inclined, you may want to take a moment and think about your favorite John Hughes movie. Is it Breakfast Club? Pretty in Pink? Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Some Kind of Wonderful? Curly Sue? Beethoven? Mr. Mom? Weird Science? Maid in Manhattan (who knew?)? Flubber? Uncle Buck? I think my favorite is Home Alone. Hmmm... good that he left such a nice legacy.

In other news, I've developed quite the obsession for the Australian talk show host, Rove. I... I LOVE him! It's no secret that I loves me the late night tv... but I'm telling you I'd sacrifice everyone... Letterman, Conan, Ferguson... and Fallon and Kimmel (the latter two being not so much the sacrifice) for Rove. I LOVE him. 

Here are the links that I would suggest. I'm not saying you should watch all of them... but I would HIGHLY recommend picking the one that looks most appealing and giving it a watch. Seriously. 

Russell Brand on Rove

Justin Timberlake on Rove

Bruno on Rove (Even if you aren't too about Bruno... the interview is FUNNY)

Elmo on Rove

MOVIE SECTION:

Gigantic: The Paul Dano and Zooey Deschanel movie about the kid who wants to adopt a Chinese baby... weeeell it SEEEEEMED like the kind of movie I would love. I felt like their exact demographic... but it came out as trying WAY too much to be the quirky indie movie without having anything to say... which is annoying. I really liked the characters and if there was any reason for ANYTHING that happened in the movie, I probably would've fallen headfirst in love with the film. But he wanted this baby... for no reason. And then there was sort of this element of Paul Dano being attacked by this guy all the time... but like... 

I DON'T THINK I'M GIVING ANYTHING AWAY BUT JUST IN CASE, THIS IS THE WARNING!

(cont'd) but like... I think the attacker was imaginary... but if it was, then it should have been more representative of what was going on in his life. I just didn't get it. Like maybe they were trying to squeeze a little half-assed Fight Club into the film.  And then they had this rat depression motif which... also didn't really make sense. And Zooey's character didn't have a background so everything she did came off as just... almost inexplicable. 

Basically, the characters were EXACTLY indie style, and they got you the way they get the indie lovers... with daring carefree sex right away... which I do LOVE... but because there wasn't any point, it came off as TOO contrived. I felt too much like I was being tricked with formula (which, I'm sure I am sometimes), which is fine for romantic comedies and super hero movies but not movies where the point is to gain some knowledge about how people are and can be. 

I Capture the Castle: It was PRETTY good. Bill Nighy was in it, and also two other vaguely recognizable men... but who cares. VEEERY cool castle. That was awesome. I think the best part of the movie was that even though it was a British period film romantic movie, I could NOT figure out what was going to happen. It just kept switching directions... or at least the direction III thought it was going, but in a pretty organic way. I think it was that I couldn't decide if it was going to be a feel good movie, or one that ends with everyone trapped and unhappy. 

I have to say though, that I wouldn't really recommend the film. I thought it was just fine... but not REALLY worth watching. 

Love Me If You Dare: Marion Cotillard and Guillaume Canet. I thought it was AWESOME! Very pretty! And... VERY interesting. Although I honestly am not even totally sure what happened at the end. I THINK I got it... but I'm not 1000% sure. Also, Guillaume Canet is VEEERY attractive... he looks surprisingly like Patrick Dempsey... except that he has a more dangerous scary quality. When I watched the movie, I was pretty sure I'd seen him as a villain before and that's why I was getting a frightened feeling from him, even though I thought he was SUPER attractive. After I finished, I looked it up, and he was the other man in The Beach... the scary-ish french guy who is the boyfriend of the main girl. 

Regardless, IIII thought this movie was crazy awesome!

Jobs, Pork, Dreams, and Movies

Tomorrow I think I'll go on a quest to find more money. Be it quickie jobs or ACTUAL jobs. A new Panera Bread is opening on Comm Ave. and I was thinking that might be good because I LOVE sandwiches! Although I've never worked in food before... but I HAVE been a cashier and I KIIIIND of prepared food in the movie theater. The only thing is that I REEEEAAAALLLY don't want to go back to a schedule that switches week to week... but that COULD be too picky. I can't decide if that's a reasonable desire or if my decadence has gotten to me ("decadence" being my new preferred term to my lengthy stretch of lazy). It's just that that's where the stress comes from... not knowing. PLLLUUUUUS I could wait until the school year and get a job at the dining hall which I KNOW are regular hours... but I'd kind of like to do something for August. BUUUUUUT now I could technically get a job that involves DRIVING! (Although I absolutely don't think I will or should. Scaarry!)

Today my desire for pork chops grew to such gigantic proportions that I decided to make my dream come true. 

THEY TURNED OUT GREAT!!! Plus I only used a concoction (using zero measuring of ingredients) of what I had in the house: butter, bread crumbs, parmesan cheese (left from Vanessa's reign), pepper, and some olive oil... all of which I'm sure could be compromised. And obviously the pork chops, which cost me $2.49 for two. Brilliant. Move over chicken! Pork chops in da HOOUSE!

Last night I had a dream in which I was walking through the mall with Stephen Colbert and Elena... I guess around Christmas time. Elena was leading the way and I talked to Stephen, a few paces behind her, who wasn't his character but actually exactly the way I imagine him to be in real life. As we were walking we passed a store with Christmas ornaments that had his face on them... but I knew they were a few years old and were made for The Daily Show (he DID have The Colbert Report in my dream). I asked him, and I almost remember word for word (which is WEIRD for a dream) "I know this is the point (I giggle) but how did you design the Christmas ornaments so that they look good enough to buy but are still cheap enough to make a profit?" Then I giggle again and tell him never mind and not to answer. Only now do I remember that it's funny because Jon Stewart would especially not sell Christmas ornaments as he is Jewish.

Then the three of us went into this little empty boutique-ish store and Elena sat on the floor several places ahead of Stephen and me, who sat on these steps in the middle of the room. Then a whole crowd of people sat several places behind us on bleachers. Then a woman in a suit skirt, blazer, heels, severe glasses and a bun came out and a screen lowered on the wall behind her. The lights dimmed and WATER rose up past our laps, as though we were sitting in a hot tub (although I do not recall the temperature of the water). Then she started teaching us all some sort of lesson, but I didn't really listen because Stephen and I whispered jokes to each other throughout. 

Then I'm walking outside with Elena in the early evening (I guess Stephen left) and it's slightly snowing. As I'm crossing the street to get to my apartment I meet this girl, Felicia, who went to my middle school and high school but I don't think I've talked to her since 7th grade. We make awkward small talk in the middle of the street (?). Then Elena and I get to the apartment and there's a crowd around the door next door and the main girl from Hairspray/ host of Dance Your Ass Off was lying on the ground crying. So I guess we talked to her awkwardly for like... 1 second. Then we look over to my door and Caroline is lying against my door and she looks kind of like someone beat her or something. Not bleeding, but not really focusing and dirty and stuff. So I unlock the door and Elena goes in. I pick up Caroline, look awkwardly back at the Hairspray girl, questioning in my head whether I should bring her in too, but ultimately don't. Then, as I'm groping for the lights in the apartment (that I don't recognize but was mine in the dream), holding Caroline slumped over my shoulder, I wake up.

Weird.

MOVIE SECTION:

Heart and Souls: I've been going through a reasonable love for Robert Downey Jr. for quite a while and I originally picked this movie a because I THOUGHT, from a thumbnail of the cover, that it was the movie with Cybill Shepherd and Mary Stewart Masterson where Downey Jr. is the reincarnated husband of Cybill but dating Mary but somehow his soul-memory or something didn't get erased. Hilarity and confusion ensue. I've already seen it, but only on TV and I was ready for a second viewing (it's ACTUALLY called Chances Are, if you're curious).

ANYWAY this is not that. Buuuut considering the limited amount of movies in the funny, silly afterlife genre, it's weird that Downey Jr. is in two. BUUUUUT I really liked it! Not one that I would totally recommend unless you really like movies like Back to the Future, Groundhogs Day, Ghostbusters, Defending Your Life etc etc... which I do. Buuuut I think Downey Jr. does a great job of embodying four distinct other personalities... buuuuut I think the sun shines out his ass, so...

The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer: I picked this because it was a movie when Shirley Temple is older (plays 17) and... I was just curious. Also, Cary Grant was in it, who I don't think is incredibly attractive but at the same time... I really do. I WOULD have turned it off after 10 minutes, but then I wouldn't be able to say I saw it... so I followed through. Not worth seeing. I THIIIINK the rule of thumb is that if it's an old movie and you haven't heard of it... it obviously didn't stand the test of time and is thus... not good. BUUUUUUT it's from 1947 and the main lady was a judge, which I thought was pretty nice. 

One more thing, but they DID repeat this little dialogue:

One: You remind me of the man.

Two: What man?

One: The man with the power.

Two: What power?

One: The power of hoodoo. 

Two: Who do?

One: You do. 

Two: Do what?

One: You remind of the man. 

(Two: What man?

etc. etc.)

Recognize? It's the beginning of "Dance Magic Dance" in The Labyrinth (with David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly). Except in that song it's "you remind me of the babe."  and they say "voodoo" instead of "hoodoo" (which makes less sense...) And it's between Bowie with HUUUGE 80s hair, a pirate shirt, and spandex pants... and Jim Henson puppets... 

Actually, it's totally worth watching! (quit after 2 minutes if you tire of the clip... the beginning is what's important) I'm REAAALLY attracted to Bowie in this, which I can only assume has to do with his INCREDIBLY sexy speaking voice... and maybe his whip and spandex? ... I ... don't know... I kind of hope not...

Also, in The Labyrinth clip (movie) the baby's name is Toby, which I really think is the perfect baby boy name for a movie... because it's such a gentle little name. Although as soon as yellow stops being gender neutral for a child, that's when the name Toby doesn't work so much... that's why it's good only for fictional movie baby boys (apologies to boys you know named Toby... and Toby Maguire).

ANYWAY ANYWAY!

A Room with a View: Obviously one of the period pieces that is commonly referenced. Pluuus Helena Bonham Carter, Maggie Smith, and Daniel Day-Lewis... hellz yeah! LOVED IT! I'll definitely watch that one again. I think I especially liked it because everyone had very distinct, but not necessarily cliche, personalities. For instance, the mother mentioned that she wouldn't like the wrong sort of people to move in near them... so in my mind I was like "here we go with the crazy uptight bitch mom" but then she was perfectly lovable! And the guy she was engaged to really liked books and read a lot and stuff... and he was stuffy and ... if he lived now I would assume he was gay. So in my mind I was like "he's going to prevent her from doing something... stifle her." But he didn't. He was perfectly fine with her doing what she needed, but you STILL preferred the other guy. That's my favorite love conflict, when the lady protagonist is with someone who isn't really bad at all but you KNOW she loves and should be with the other guy... it's ESPECIALLY good if he's MORE flawed than the non-love. Off the top of my head I'm thinking of The Notebook and Sweet Home Alabama. I just like it because it's more true-lovey... if one guy is a douche and one's great, where's the conflict?

ANYWAY IIIII think it's also worth noting that brother, Freddie, in A Room with a View is SUPER awesome!! AAAAnd if it makes any difference, and to some I know it does, there is penis in this movie!

Also I STARTED to watch Stagedoor because it said that Robert Downey Jr., Natalie Portman, Felicity Huffman, and Jennifer Jason Lee were in it (the former two obviously being the catalyst to my interest and the latter two being fringe). Weeeell it was a documentary about a musical theater camp and none of the above people were in it at all for the first 10 minutes. So I realized I was being tricked into watching it... just as I was tricked into watching the Pete Seeger documentary because I thought Bob Dylan would be in it... although that was a blessing in disguise and I could see that this would not be (although I obviously cannot know for sure because... I only watched 10 minutes). So go ahead and watch it if you wish... but don't be fooled!

Movies and Questionable, 3-Week+ Old Food

Today I woke up at about 10:45am but couldn't decide what I wanted to do. Which is why we'll go straight to the

MOVIE SECTION:

The Wackness: Originally I had high expectations. Then I lowered them when I heard the movie wasn't all that great. But I still had to see it because Kevin told me it had brilliant 90s references (we've been on a quest for the perfect 90s movies. I voted for Wayne's World originally, but we decided that a lot of that movie is a little too late 80s to '92 (which was when it came out) which is kind of an era on it's own... since then we've crowned Clueless as the champion.)

Anyway anyway, tWAS chock full of brilliant 90s references. The plot was OK. At first I was wondering if it was supPOSED to be about people who are completely miserable and depressed ("you're not depressed, you're sad. There's a difference.") without really being in a distressing situation at all-- a state of being that I can TOTALLY understand! But then the situations got a little more intense and I decided that I would enjoy the movie solely for the said 90s references, the music, the brief Mary-Kate Olsen, who I love despite myself, and Olivia Thirlby (the best friend from Juno) who I think is SUPER awesome... I would like to see more of her. 

Overall, not earth shattering in any way. I did like this though:

Dr. Squires: Never trust anyone who doesn't smoke pot or listen to Dylan. Never trust anyone who doesn't like the beach. Never, EVER, EVER trust anyone who says they don't like dogs! You meet someone who doesn't like dogs you alert the authorities IMMEDIATELY and you sure as SHIT don't MARRY THEM!

Not brilliant but made me grin. 

Pineapple Express: I thought it was HILARIOUS! So there! 

Also, I have never been more attracted to James Franco. 

END OF MOVIE SECTION

To wrap up: 

Decided to start reading Running with Scissors, which I bought over a year ago. Then my friend Devon told me that I really should read it but the movie wasn't too good. Buuuuut THEN I watched the preview for the movie, which looked AWESOME, and THAT'S why I decided to find the book in my house... and that's why I'm going to read it now. Book lust works in mysterious ways.

Also I decided to make rosemary chicken without the rosemary because I wasn't willing to spend $3.50 on a meal. What I learned was that the rosemary is entirely essential to making it taste amazing... however it blows my mind because the meal is so garlic-y that I don't even understand how the rosemary taste penetrates. Very mysterious. Ate it anyway. Plus I used chicken that I froze, which I'd never done before. I hope I don't get ill. 

I also made baked potatoes out of potatoes that had significantly started to grow those white roots (which look like spiders and honestly scare me a little bit, although not enough to not touch them). I'm PRETTY SURE you can eat both of these things, even though they've been in the house for the three weeks I was gone and then some. I'm just pretty sure that I'm not going to die from anything food-related. Naive assumption? We may soon find out.