So I hung out with Caroline and Wolf and Wolf's friend Audrina the night before the fourth, and my friend Spiegs was coming the next day at 9am (or so I thought... I don't know why). For whatever reason, I had trouble sleeping that night, even though I've been doing well for a few days. Whatever, I couldn't sleep until 4:30am. AND it turns out Spiegs was coming in at 6:30am. BUMMER. But whatever, we had a nice chat when she came and then we went back to sleep.
Now the "plan" was to go to a potluck at 12:30am, then go to the fireworks, then go to a party at Pretty's. Well I really haven't been consistently around other people too much-- if I had to take a guess, I'd say I am around people for 5 or 6 hours per 36-48 hours... and this is close friends-- and I realized kind of immediately that I couldn't be pressed into performing so much small talk. I just couldn't. Or maybe I'm a prick... but regardless, I knew it would just be torture for me to spend OVER 12 hours with other people. Honestly, I think that's a lot for anyone. Plus, no one was counting on me to bring the fun or anything. So I was pretty confident that I wasn't going to go to the potluck.... although I still couldn't be sure.
After Spiegs left for the potluck, I turned around and made some homemade chicken noodle soup (which in my head I call "c-noodle" soup... I don't know why my head needs the abbrev... but it does). Well I looked up a recipe, but everything seemed pretty arbitrary to me so I decided NOT to use a recipe. Plus, I remember when I was younger, I wanted soup REALLY badly (I really LOVE soup... if I was going to have a shop, I think it would be a soup shop) and I just put some chicken bouillon cubes, noodles, carrots, and celery that we had in the fridge into some water. It tasted fine.
Anyway, I went to the store and I got carrots, celery, a head of garlic, frozen corn, potatoes, and chicken broth. I also got chicken, and I think my error was here, because I wanted to get the cheapest stuff I could so I ended up getting boned chicken thighs. It was the cheapest thing, it's my favorite part of the chicken, AND I could use any leftovers for rosemary chicken because that's what I use. I think the SUPER error on the chicken was that it was also skinned.
So I thought I'd just cook the chicken a little bit with some garlic powder and garlic salt (what I use for rosemary chicken) so that it had a head start before going into the broth. But regardless of the precooking, it was difficult to take the chicken apart. I DID take the skin off easily though. I was tempted to eat it (gross I know... but I LOVE the skin of chicken), but after trying one of them, I almost died. So nay on that front.
Then I just put the stuff in the pot as it occurred to me... no thought on what should go in first. I also used ziti for the noodles because I wasn't about to get egg noodles JUST for soup when I already have so much pasta around. And I couldn't really MINCE the garlic with a regular knife, so I just cut it into tiny pieces... and I used the whole head of garlic.
Here is what came out (I didn't think to take a picture until I'd eaten two bowls... so there was a little more, but this is the idea):
Not bad, right? It tasted ALRIGHT. I know corn is like... the biggest ingredient in everything we eat and thus we don't need any more BUT... I REALLY like eating kernels of it in soups or salads. Not utilized enough in my opinion. The soup also primarily smells of garlic. And you actually just eat chunks of garlic as though I intended it to be considered a vegetable in the soup rather than a spice. Also... not so much with the broth. I definitely could have added more water to it ... especially because it's on the saltier side.
Anyway, after that was done and I'd eaten my fill, the potluck was essentially over and I had to decide if I wanted to go to the fireworks. They started at 8:30pm but people were going around 3pm. So... I definitely had to pass on the 3pm. I don't remember what I did exactly, various things surely. I even talked to Caroline about my solitude, but she was sympathetic to what I wanted to do, which encouraged me to stay home.
The problem with these holidays is that they are SUPPOSED to be fun. But REALLY they are like... obligations during your break from work (not that I have work right now... but I'm speaking generally) that you MIIIIIGHT have fun at. But also they can be, and often are, torture. And I honestly get upset during them no matter what. I get upset when I have to go somewhere that isn't fun on a "fun" day. Which is rude. I wouldn't snap at anyone of course... but I'm entitled to my feelings. I get upset when I don't go and then I feel guilty because I'm so socialized into having to be too social at these times. AND because if people are HAVING parties or whatever, they went to a lot of effort to make it happen and as a friend, I should be in attendance. I get upset that people want to know where I am and I don't have anything to say. BUUUT I would get even more upset if people didn't care where I was because of COURSE I hope that I mean SOMETHING in people's lives. Complex. Very complex. I feel the same way about Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. BUUUUUUT sometimes I DOOOO want to be social! Sometimes it IS really fun. Usually not Christmas, but some Christmas parties and... New Years I enjoy sometimes.
What I'm basically saying is that I'm an asshole. I'm telling you how I honestly feel, but I always think I'm being an asshole in these situations. And I can't even predict my own emotions... in another mood I could have spent the entire day out and about yesterday. But... couldn't make it happen. What I wonder is whether everyone else just ENJOYS being out like that? Is everyone else just sucking it up and I'm being a jerk? Or is it only painful to me and another small group of people and everyone else just really enjoys being around people all the time-- can't get enough.
(And just one more time, I DO like other people. I don't ALWAYS dislike being around groups of people. )
ANYWAY, I decided to watch Juno INSTEAD of fireworks. I don't even care. Did it. Proud. But I DID go to the party, which was great fun for me. It was the perfect amount of interaction after I had a whole day of preparation. Although the police came because some jerks set off REALLY loud fireworks in front of the apartment. Although I'm 21 now so it wasn't really an issue for me. But it was unfortunate because some (many) people were obviously scrambling for the back door. Then they all came back and it was fun... and then people did fireworks AGAIN! The police didn't come back, but there was a lot of paranoia.
Then, even though I went to bed at 2:30am ish, I woke up at 9am, ready to go. Mystery. Spiegs was still asleep so I watched this movie called Puccini for Beginners. I REALLY enjoyed it. I think it's the first lesbian movie I've ever watched that wasn't a first time movie. Not positive. But I actually turned it on because Justin Kirk, who plays Andy in Weeds (probs (/almost definitely) my favorite character in the show... and you know how much I love the show), was in it. And he did NOT disappoint me.
Spiegs still wasn't awake at 10:30am when the movie was over so I decided have a banana and then to go down to the esplanade. I just LOVE this one bench down there. So I stared into space for a while and then I read a little. I DID wear sunscreen, which I think was wise. Then I came back, had some turkey hot dogs that I bought (cheap!) and I'll probs have some more soup soon. And that's where I'm at (Spiegs is with her sister).
One more thing. I got some mail to some guy who does NOT have the last name of Montero, which is the name on my mailbox. BUUUT instead of taking it back, my mailman WROTE HIS NAME ON THE BOX! Isn't that hilarious!? What sense does that make? Obviously he doesn't live there if his name isn't on the box! That's the point of HAVING the name on the box! Although it made me think that they wouldn't care if I wrote MY last name on the box and then I wouldn't have had to make all of my relatives send my birthday cards to a complete stranger. C'est la vie. I had to cross the name off the box and put the mail to the other guy in this little trough-looking place below the mailbox. I wonder if the mail person is going to feel like an idiot when they see that I crossed off the name. I wonder if they'll be like "DUH!" to themselves.
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