Some Words About Some Things

I have so many things to talk about, I have to write a list so I don't forget:
1) movie
2) money
3) internship
4) Italian guy
5) writing inspiration
6) Christmas
Intrigued? Good! Let us begin.

1) So I'm directing our final project for my video production class. So we started filming yesterday (I was out of my house ONLY for shooting from 10:30am to 8:30pm). Anyway, it is WAY scarier than you might think. I thought we were going to do scenes in 3 separate locations (technically four but one was easy), and that we were going to start setting up at 12:30pm. So I woke up at 10:00, go together a shit-ton of props, went to the computer lab to create a "missing bunny" sign, got props from a group member who had work, and had a quick lunch. But at 12:00pm the girl was supposed to get the camera LEFT to get the camera and it was obviously going to take longer. Long story short, all three of us halled the stuff (HEAVY DUDE! HEAVY!) and got to our location at 1pm. THEN our actor didn't show up until 1:40ish. Whatever. So we shoot 4 scenes in one location, and then the guy asks me when we're going to be done (it's about 3:15). BUT I had planned on 2 more big scenes in two different locations! He said he had to leave for a dinner at 6pm. SOOOO I cut the last location and moved it to Sunday. Then we did this bank scene, which we did in the mail room because it has a counter that we could go behind. BUT because we were REALLY in the way, I got REALLY paranoid about time. SO we shot it really fast!
Because we had to quit so early, I decided that I would at least edit the stuff we have, and everyone, including Stephanie, who wasn't at the shoot, came to edit too. WELL, after looking at the footage again, I felt like I had done NO good shots!! I mean... they were clear and told the story... but for all intents and purposes, it might as well have been a play. I mean, not quite... but it still felt bad. ESPECIALLY because I feel like I'm usually pretty good at getting good shots. BUT since my crew ALSO had to be acting, it was SOOOO hard to keep the actors under control and doing what you want and STILL think about the camera and STILL keeping track of time.
I'm just nervous because I feel like it's really riding on me. I'm not TOTALLY sad that I wrote a comedy, but it would have been much easier to make interesting shots if it was a horror. But I did a comedy because... I feel like a team of all girls wouldn't usually do a comedy. And I feel like comedic WRITING is harder. I don't know. I'm just really worried. BUUUUUT it is really fun.

2) So, as you know I'm money-retarded. Because of the recent Britney Spears explosion, I basically ran out of money. BUUUUUT my grandpa gave me $100 and I still haven't deposited all of the coins. So, because I have $14 in my checking account and $20 in my savings (yeah... awkward), I decided it was time to deposit my $100 check (I can't afford to overdraw again). So, I went to my job to get my check. I wasn't sure what the check situation was because... well I need to tell a little tale.
Three times this year I have forgotten to write down my hours online... and thus I don't get a check. Now I KNOW this is retarded, which is why I never discuss. I mean, I'm sure that my boss wouldn't REALLY care if I told her that I forgot and she had to do it manually. I KNOW this. But for some reason, I can't escape feeling responsible. I KNOOOOOOOWWWW this is retarded. I TRIED... (I mean obviously not that hard) to ask her... but I just couldn't live with it. I consider it my bill for being irresponsible. So whatever, I've lost about $160 from doing this.
Anyway, I went to get my check, which I haven't done in a while because I forgot to log my hours. Well, I guess I waited a long time because I had THREE checks when I went to pick them up. Which, funnily enough, I had the LAST TIME I went to get my checks. Time is confusing for me.
THE POINT IS, I had about $120 instead of $40 like I thought. LUCKY!! I kind of like that I do that, even though the lady makes funny and says she's weary of students that don't need their money every week (b'scuse me?! Why do you care?), because I've been REALLY stingy with my money so I didn't overdraw. SO THERE!

3) I need an internship this summer. My writing teacher asked us what internship opportunity connections we could find from our friends and family over break. I almost had a heartattack. It's one of those situations like finding a college where I feel like my family is way more useless than other families and that I have no connections! I'm obviously not saying my parents are bad, but they really are only helpful when it comes to medical things... which has never been useful to me in my entire life. I KNOW that other people don't have like... AMAZING parents who help them with everything... but I always feel like other parents have more of a vested interest in their kid's connections and whatever.
ANYWAY, I told my teacher that my uncle produces a local news station in upstate New York (that's true except I don't know if he produces. He does SOMETHING major). BUT I will not be chilling with my uncle... and I do NOT want to do news... (and you shouldn't start with things you don't want to do). WELL, my teacher was very encouraging. She tells us that she has a really good instinct about what people want to do and whatever. I'm not sure about that... but she did tell one girl that she might want to be a teacher (which I kind of thought was insulting... but whatever). She told another girl that it seems like she wants to do sports. The girl agreed. WELL, when I told her I was going to look for something OTHER than my uncle's news station, she told me that I probably "wanted something in fiction, probably something in HBO... like being a reader for them." It was the GREATEST GIFT OF ALL!!! I was like YES! PLEASE!!! THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO DO!! I'm so glad she saw that in me. And she told me it's totally possible to get that kind of an internship!
So now, armed with this new encouragement, I really need to look for a good internship!! Now... I know that this is retarded... but I have NO MONEY and I CAN'T DRIVE!!! So, over winter break I need to be looking for places to apply... but I can basically only apply for things in New York because I really can't go to LA until I learn how to drive. BUUUUT how am I going to live there? Even if I got another job next semester, would I be able to make enough to be able to live through the summer in New York. BUUUUUT, I really feel like I need to be ambitious because you really need to get started when you're young. And, if you don't get an internship, you basically can't get a job.
This is my semi-longterm goal.

4) Today this guy, who came to Boston from Naples in 2002, came to our food anthro class to talk about the North End (which is where the Italians of Boston are. BUUUUT he was so interesting because he was an anthropologist studying Italian-Americans! That's SO AWESOME!

5) This is kind of a part 2 to number 3, but today while we were waiting to read some scripts my teacher told us that it was really important to remember that it doesn't really matter what teachers and whatever say about your writing. The executive producer of Seinfeld got a bad grade in Harvard and he used to flash the bad paper at the end of each episode. She said that the fear of writing teachers is to make sure that they don't make anyone stop writing. So she said that although she's telling you stuff she thinks is right, you should just be persistant and do what you think is good because the successful people are the people who are persistant and sometimes brilliant people aren't as successful because they doubt themselves. This morning I was feeling pretty ill (I still kind am just weak and stuffed up and coughy), and my teacher isn't usually so sentamental... and anyway, it was such a nice moment because I feel like I fall victim to self-doubt and worrying about the legitimacy of everything that I do and feeling like people are better than I am ... And it was so nice of her to say those things. Anyway, I almost cried. Like, my eyes teared up. Which shows you how fucking WEEPY I've been recently. Like... anything in the world will make me cry! I asked my grandma if I was deficient in some vitamin that would make me cry at happy things all the time. She said I was just getting to be a more sensative person and that that was a good thing. Whatevs.

6) Christmas is soon. I wanted to paint for my mom and dad but now I don't think I'll have the time. I still haven't sent my painting to my grandparents. Lame.

KEEP A' CHUGGIN', FOLKS!! YOU SHALL SURVIVE THIS TIME!!

Today at the bank I saw this sign and it said "Remember, today is the same day you were worrying about yesterday." Very appropriate for this time of year.

(By the way, I STILL haven't had any caffeine!!)