Thursday, April 23, 2009

Unfortunate Personality and More

I feel like I spend so much more time alone now that I'm constantly being caught off-guard with people and thus have like... 15 minutes of what I'm going to call the unfortunate personality. And in many cases, I don't get the 15 minutes to warm up and I just leave people with the taste of the unfortunate personality. (Note: I'm SURE it's not this complex, but... it's how I feel every day)

For instance, today, I went to Chinese anthropology class for an hour, worked (alone in a room typing) for two hours, and edited (alone in a room) for about 2.5 hours. No people in my scheduled day. However, at some point I ran into a girl from another a cappella (is it really two Ps in "cappella"? Mac, you blow my mind) group, who, first of all, has infinite more energy that I do at any given moment, and ran at me with a hug... which was nice.. but I'm already awkward... plus the hug... and of course the unfortunate personality.  I start fumbling around trying to think of what a cappella group she's in (trying to make myself not take a guess!!! Which I do WAY too often (and I've brought up the affliction with many people now)) and trying to think about if her concert has passed or if there is any likelihood that I WILL go to her concert, as she is assuring me that she's coming to mine. It was too much. I came off looking like I can't control the personality (in my head... I doubt I'm ever any different to her). 

Also, today, I ran into one of the actors in my movie in the elevator going to the editing room. I tell him that I'm about to edit the video and he says he's going to come and see what I've done so far... which was 
a) REALLY disconcerting, considering NO ONE has seen what I've done so far... and also I'd have to explain what I'm going to change in everything so it's better... because it obviously looks like... crap right now. And rightly so. It's like if someone wanted to look over a paper that you haven't finished yet... like, maybe you wrote out BASICALLY what you want to do but didn't put in the quotes or write a conclusion or proofread it at all. What's the point? It can ONLY make you frustrated.. and waste time. 
b) I had GREAT personality when I met this guy. I was fueled on SOOOO much caffeine and adrenaline and I was SUPER prepared to make everyone like me so they'd work well and feel like they were having fun. 

So when I met him this second time... most unfortunate personality. I was dismissive... and also was trying to make him not want to be there because... ... I didn't want him to be there. 

Also, I'm VERY confident that my entire personality changes when the sun goes down. I don't want to be dramatic about it (except that I obviously do), but... ya know... it's true. 

What I'm saying is, I should only be judged only starting 15 minutes after I've been with people and after dark. That's all I'm saying. I'm a diva. 

In other news:
1. Pat and I are going to try and find a cheaper place to live. 
2. Kevin is visiting the weekend of May 1st. WHOO!!!
3. I don't even CARE about the damn internship anymore. I don't even care. 
4. Concert is Saturday, photonics, 5:30, I still have 2 tickets. 
5. AFTER the concert, Chords is probably going to have a JUST CHORDS GAME NIGHT!!! HEEELLZ YEAH!!! (I may have emphasized the "game" part of the night more than anyone else in chords... but it's basically my dream. I'm going to think about bringing some edamame... it will be my wildest fantasies come true!)
6. The Office today was GREAT! At least I thought it was!

Tidbits: 

If you're interested, I really enjoyed this segment from the Daily Show. It's about socialistic Sweden. REALLY GOOD!

Also, Caroline and I watched this Mariah Carey video like... 1000 times yesterday and I am STILL impressed! How can she do that LIVE!! No big thang!

Also, I have to say, I would HIGHLY recommend that if you don't take advantage of free podcasts... perhaps you should look into it because it is MIRACULOUS! I've been regularly listening to Real Time with Bill Maher (I don't get HBO) and This American Life (thanks to Elena) and President Obama's Weekly Radio Address. It's a blessing.. and free. 

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